"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Some food for thought - the moral DJ?

Sexual

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Snow Plowman said:
Overall once you get past the whole fact of people watching you approach and just not caring what anyone thinks of you, then day game becomes super easy.
I love what you and Microfiend had to say. It's a post I've been wanting to bring up but I'm too busy and really just don't care enough to write in length, but lets see if I can bring up convo with this bit.

Approaching women goes hand in hand with how we were raised from the traditional introduction by being introduced by another, and not invading space. Social grace. Here we have taught ourselves to begin to break down square or traditional ways of thinking, most of which are controversial with certain laws, for example, how much pursuit will lead to a well won HB10, and how much will lead to a restraining order. If you've been in the field as much as I have you should have a general concept of my point.

The DJ is subject to constant scrutiny, and if you've known me on this forum over the last four years, you'll see my ideas and posts have led to much criticism, disgust, and at times I can safely say slight reverence (however insignificant). I've had the same view for many of you.

I find myself really not caring about what other people think, and my roommate is the same way.

I mean, last week a girl he slept with came over and said, "you're only using me for sex." He replied, "yeah." Then she got pissed and left.

I see the benefits in this whereas he won't have to deal with her drama and he can just go out and get a new girl that will not be so demanding, but when I asked him why he said that in regard to my question about moral fiber, he replied, "I didn't want to lie to her."

Irony enters the concept.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Sexual

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Holy shyt

This is why we restart The DJ Boot Camp - to remember what we've forgotten. Wow, I didn't figure this was my answer. I'm the same guy I've always been in my behavior, my mentally is... well, I knew my roommate was... but I'm a jerk too. I even said in my last message I know I'm a ****, but it didn't sink in until just now.

Maybe not in my behavior... but at least in my way of thinking and my motives. To the tee. I couldn't see it only because I'm still enrolled in college, moving forward, but I guess I look forward to nothing. Well done, Pook. I'm on my way to recovery.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16903
 

Snow Plowman

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Once you stop caring your free to try everything...as far as PU you don't want to go in the deep end with this mindset to the point of where your doing sloppy game. Like your friend actually saying "Yeah" he will end up losing alot of sets because he said something stupid, even though it won't affect him, you don't want to be doing things that will bluntly ruin your sets.

'Lets go back to my place and ****", how many chicks will actually agree to this?

What I've seen from Day Game, which many people have this problem is that they are too worried about other stuff that is irrelevant to what they are doing. If you like a chick, there shouldn't be no reason to be thinking about where she is headed, who is around her, who would end up hearing, who would end up laughing if you get rejected. (Which typically no one really laughs)

When growing up were taught to follow the social norm, but in Pickup there are alot of social norms that are being broken. A perfect example of this is from a guy who wrote a Field Report the other day. He walked into this ladies class as if he had class there, the teacher found out the guy wasn't in the class and right in front of everyone he went in direct on her. Then he went and talked to her outside and pushed for the #.

Majority of the guys wouldn't even walk into the wrong class, far less actually try to game the teacher while she is teaching. The same goes for waitresses, women on phones, etc. Guys don't want to break the social norm of interuppting or taking it out of the customer frame.
 

The Inside Man

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I really like that you guys are pointing out the fact that DJing requires breaking social norms. I think you have to keep reminding yourself of that because the way we have been raised and influenced by society is to follow that subconscious, unspoken set of rules..esp. the example of not taking conversations w/ a salesperson out of customer frame. It's like that little voice that says, no don't interrupt, or no don't ask for the # is actually just the result of social conditioning. Liberating to think about! Sexual where you at in florida? I'm down south and loving it, just moved here a few months ago.
Would love to hear some more thoughts from people on this subject.
 

Sexual

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I'm in GATOR country.

There was a time when I could do those kind of pick ups like you described Snow Plowman. It wasn't really the idea I was trying to raise, but still interesting. Your first paragraph was very relevant - yes, DJs often slip out of their mindset and become PUs or even worse, RAFCs. Once you're "The Brat," you don't stop playing poker and expect to still win.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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