Originally posted by seanchai
I think I understand what you're saying, Kevin, and I especially like your idea that if you deny your manly instincts you're not being true to yourself. That's really the best way I've read you articulate your personal beliefs on male-female relationships, and I think you have the ideas and the writing capability to take this community in a direction a lot of people want it to go, vis-a-vis the DJ Bible. Anyone second this?
However, I don't aggressively next girls who don't immediately show "real" interest in me. I don't get pissed when women play games. I understand that that's what today's society is like, and that women will do these things. It's not self-respect if I drop every woman who doesn't live up to this model, it's lunacy. I look at every game a woman will play with me and I figure out how I can beat her at it, and then she's mine. I have very few problems with disrespect from girls in the long run as a result. I just tend to see girls as state-based creatures, who are primarily reactive, and I'm the active one. If they disrespect me or show low interest, that's a shortcoming in MY game, not in THEIR character. Then I can fix it and come back a better person.
When I talk about acting on your gut instincts what I mean is to take action in the form of "Nexting" them. I'm talking about laying down the law and standing firm. I'm sorry, but I'm not someone that deserves to be played around with. I'm not impressed with women who **** test me all the time.
Don't forget that your gut instincts can also tell you how and when to show love and compassion. They can tell you when to give a girl another chance. They can tell you when to kiss her. So don't be so quick to reject your natural born feelings.
I've had to deal with women calling me insecure in my early 20s. During that time I was an AFC. I always pulled back and let women walk all over me and put up with their games. Sure, I gained their approval and I could even impress them, but it didn't make me happy.
Then I started to "play" the game and quite frankly you are right it does work. You can dodge a womans sh-it tests and keep things moving.
Now, I'm at the stage where I just don't have the patience to play these games. I'm moving away from "the game" and moving towards solving the root cause of the problem "my choices".
In other words, I now strive to shop for women just like someone would at a shopping mall. I've had a few female friends call me a pompus ass for it, but the truth is you should never let go of your gut instincts. These instincts tell you what you want in a woman and what kind of a woman you can put up with.
You see, not all women are the same.
The fact is only 1 out of every 50 girls you take out on a date will be good enough for an LTR. Many DJs here assume that you must be able to get any woman. They strive to get all 50 dispite the fact that 49 of them are basicaly trash. They even rebuke people on this board for their failure to please these useless women. I would strongly disagree with those on here that do that. The best adivce is to take action and just next them.
You have to be willing to act and be sure not to get caught up with playing the game. It can lead you into a world of hurt. Sure, you can get the girls with it, but in the end you won't feel like playing the game anymore it will all fall apart. She will say, "you are not the man that you used to be" and that will be your own damn fault.
In other words, I'm not interested in a war with a woman. I'm interested in peace. I'm also not in the mood to play games. I have nothing to prove to any woman. In fact, they have much to prove to me.
