"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Some advice?

Intrakit98

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Ok here's the situation.
I recently began a new job and there's this cute secretary who works there.
Now there is a waiting area between the main entrance and the entrance to the offices. When I enter the main entrance and walk to the door that leads to the offices she would display a smile thats ear to ear. As time went by I talked to her a little and got to know her also but not so well to friend her on facebook. During one of those conversations I tell her that I'll see her in couple of days because I'm going out of town to which she replies with a sly smile " you better get me a birthday present" which was a bit unexpected because she caught me off gaurd. When I asked her what she would like whe said that she loves cupcakes and starbucks coffee. After that she said I'm just kidding.
In fact I still don't know what to do about that. I think that I wouldn't mind getting to know her a little closer. Should I get her a small gift? OR should I ignore it and continue on my quest of getting to know her. Am I imagining things or is something there? To be honest I'm a bit lost. I got her number and told asked her if she would like to hang out sometime and she said yes. Which is cool.

I just want to hear what other people think. Any constructive advice would also be helpful.
Thanks in advance.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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CRDJit

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Intrakit98 said:
When I asked her what she would like whe said that she loves cupcakes and starbucks coffee.
She answered your question right there. Ask her out and go for a cupcake or a coffe or something
 

Bible_Belt

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It's thin ice because you work with her. Secretaries get paid to be nice to people, much like waitresses, hair stylists, receptionists, and a lot of the female-dominated occupations. You never really know if she's just being nice for the sake of work.

Therefore, you must retain 'plausible deniability' in your relations with her. Obviously, you like her and want her, but the trick is that you must hide that emotion from her. Don't give her a flower, tell her she's pretty, and ask her on a date. Instead, just give her the chance to be around you outside of work and happen to have a good time together. Hide your intentions until you have sex with her, and then act like nothing happened and make her wonder if you thought it was all a mistake.
 

runner83

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Intrakit98 said:
Ok here's the situation.
I recently began a new job and there's this cute secretary who works there.
Now there is a waiting area between the main entrance and the entrance to the offices. When I enter the main entrance and walk to the door that leads to the offices she would display a smile thats ear to ear. As time went by I talked to her a little and got to know her also but not so well to friend her on facebook. During one of those conversations I tell her that I'll see her in couple of days because I'm going out of town to which she replies with a sly smile " you better get me a birthday present" which was a bit unexpected because she caught me off gaurd. When I asked her what she would like whe said that she loves cupcakes and starbucks coffee. After that she said I'm just kidding.
In fact I still don't know what to do about that. I think that I wouldn't mind getting to know her a little closer. Should I get her a small gift? OR should I ignore it and continue on my quest of getting to know her. Am I imagining things or is something there? To be honest I'm a bit lost. I got her number and told asked her if she would like to hang out sometime and she said yes. Which is cool.

I just want to hear what other people think. Any constructive advice would also be helpful.
Thanks in advance.
Jesus fvckin' christ!

What the hell is wrong with you? Why the fvck would you get a gift for a girl you aren't in a relationship, or haven't even banged yet?

And let me get this straight, you got her personal number and you aren't sure if she is interested?

Yes sure, secretaries are paid to be friendly, but over here in Aust at least, the service doesn't extend to giving out her personal number to every dude....how about there?

Yes, she is interested, but if your lack of balls last much longer, she'll go find some other guy who actually owns a pair.

As a guy who has in the past had s!x in the office (actually the sick room in the basement) and got away with it, I must still advise you to keep it outside the office.

Suggest a time and place to meet up for some drinks.

PS - DO NOT friend her on facebook!!!
 

Nexus Polaris

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Intrakit98 said:
During one of those conversations I tell her that I'll see her in couple of days because I'm going out of town to which she replies with a sly smile " you better get me a birthday present" which was a bit unexpected because she caught me off gaurd. When I asked her what she would like whe said that she loves cupcakes and starbucks coffee.
I would have said with a completely straight face, "D1ck in a box. Got it." And then looked away like it was nothing.

But I've also been doing this for long enough now to know how to get a laugh out of that almost 100% of the time. I probably wouldn't recommend you trying that out since you still sound like you're pretty new to this. That would have gotten me slapped the first year I was here.

You're way overthinking this, man. You just need to relax. The guy who posted above me made some pretty good points. You don't even know this girl yet. Buying her anything at this point would be a HUGE chump move. You need to just make a move on her. She sounds like she's into you, but if you don't grow a pair soon, she's going to lose interest. Just make a move, see where it goes, and if you strike out then no worries. Just move on to the next one. You'll have that experience under your belt to learn from for next time.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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dice

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When you have the DJ mindset you don't need to ask what to do in every specific situation, it just comes to you
 
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