As some background info, I'm 21. I've never really participated in this forum although I've read some of the topics a few years ago.
I'd like to think i'm getting closer to understanding "it" and my life experiences so far have shaped me up pretty well.
The problem I'm having is with a girl that took a shine to my profile on a dating site.
I understand that your conversation and exchanges with a girl are never genuine and honest until after sex. The act of sex changes a relationship and you get your first genuine conversation with no games and shields lying in bed after doing the deed.
Which is why I'm really confused about this girl, she's reasonably attractive and has a lot of good points to her personality. More long term relationship material than anything else. When she contacted me she told me lived nearby and we should meet up.
I went on a holiday to amsterdam and continued the texting when I got back and a few texts later she was asking me to ring her and we were discussing meeting up. Strangely enough she tells me she's moved to London (60-80 miles away) although she's looking to move back soon. I wasn't really that interested in an long distance relationship which was what I felt this would turn into but I decided to continue talking with her.
For some reason treating her as I would any normal chick seemed to genuinely hurt her feelings. It's like she's made an emotional bond with me already. I really had a tough time maintaining a conversation on the phone with her because it seemed we were completely out of sync.
To be honest I decided that it was time to next and despite her ticking a lot of my boxes I didn't feel there was a connection. I chucked in a few AFC undertones to my text before I deleted the number because of a gut feeling, basically just started complimenting her... everything that would imply that I was slightly besotted with her...
...and this where the confusion settles in - because this seems to work with her. She's more comfortable and open when I'm telling her how special and sexy she is! Lovey dovey fairy tales are just illusions and every relationship needs an edge, so I know that it's probably the novelty factor that she's getting her kicks from. I think under the circumstances, I should carry on placating her until we have an element of trust built up (she seems to need this), i've managed to project sexual feelings to her and get her thinking along those lines but again I think the trust issue will mean some resistance if I continue.
It would be nice to hear your thoughts on this, I know that I'm probably too involved to get the bigger picture here so any of you gurus want to chip in with your 2cents, I'm more than open to suggestions on how to go with this. I'm sure someone will mention one-itis shortly, don't think that's the problem here fellas but your observations are welcome!
I'd like to think i'm getting closer to understanding "it" and my life experiences so far have shaped me up pretty well.
The problem I'm having is with a girl that took a shine to my profile on a dating site.
I understand that your conversation and exchanges with a girl are never genuine and honest until after sex. The act of sex changes a relationship and you get your first genuine conversation with no games and shields lying in bed after doing the deed.
Which is why I'm really confused about this girl, she's reasonably attractive and has a lot of good points to her personality. More long term relationship material than anything else. When she contacted me she told me lived nearby and we should meet up.
I went on a holiday to amsterdam and continued the texting when I got back and a few texts later she was asking me to ring her and we were discussing meeting up. Strangely enough she tells me she's moved to London (60-80 miles away) although she's looking to move back soon. I wasn't really that interested in an long distance relationship which was what I felt this would turn into but I decided to continue talking with her.
For some reason treating her as I would any normal chick seemed to genuinely hurt her feelings. It's like she's made an emotional bond with me already. I really had a tough time maintaining a conversation on the phone with her because it seemed we were completely out of sync.
To be honest I decided that it was time to next and despite her ticking a lot of my boxes I didn't feel there was a connection. I chucked in a few AFC undertones to my text before I deleted the number because of a gut feeling, basically just started complimenting her... everything that would imply that I was slightly besotted with her...
...and this where the confusion settles in - because this seems to work with her. She's more comfortable and open when I'm telling her how special and sexy she is! Lovey dovey fairy tales are just illusions and every relationship needs an edge, so I know that it's probably the novelty factor that she's getting her kicks from. I think under the circumstances, I should carry on placating her until we have an element of trust built up (she seems to need this), i've managed to project sexual feelings to her and get her thinking along those lines but again I think the trust issue will mean some resistance if I continue.
It would be nice to hear your thoughts on this, I know that I'm probably too involved to get the bigger picture here so any of you gurus want to chip in with your 2cents, I'm more than open to suggestions on how to go with this. I'm sure someone will mention one-itis shortly, don't think that's the problem here fellas but your observations are welcome!
