Solo club game went bad...some advice needed.

[AdAstra]

Hello dear forumites, I am here to ask followed things and maybe some suggestions for improvement.

Apologize for a long post and my English (third language).


Situation:

Now decided yesterday go out try solo game, went to the almost empty bar (did not know it was empty until inside) around clock 23+, met one random dude, chatted a bit, then we spotted nice couple of girls sitting near the entrance. I was like lets go talk to them, well as soon as we moved closer I decided to open, then suddenly this newly met dude cut in front of me when I was close to the set, and with the lines "Can I sit here" left me standing behind him like an idiot, well I was little confused but decided to go along. As you folks might imagine this guy had absolutely zero game and the set was pretty cold, so...by this time my energy went really down I decided not to engage this company but switch sets. As it turned out behind me was 2 girls chatting, so...as my brains went into state "fvck this shet" I turned around and with stupidity asked them "what kind of party is here?" and then, that moment switched to their table and sat down on the free bench.
Well as imagine response was even more cold than the last set, they immediately asked "am I alone" and "what was wrong with the last table", so as I should have seen they hinted that I should move on (no social proof, bad state).
So they were co-workers that just came into the bar to chat some sheit and enjoy company of themselves. Or that impression they gave to me.

After an awkward onesided chat my brains could not pick up obvious hints, so they decided to politely shrug me off with a really interesting line "Lets do this, you sit here while we chat among ourselves". Well this time I picked the red flag and told them with a little smile that "no thanks, you have pretty bad party in here". And moved on to have some cigarette. From there it went brighter as I met one chick from University and we chatted like one hour about different things. Ok.

Now the last mistake I did, that I decided to disengage from that chick and have some "alone" time...thing was I chose the wrong place to do that, as I sat down I noticed that these 2 girls, that was a bit mean earlier (those I engaged), were sitting behind me, so when I picked the phone and started to check some net I overheard that the one that was more "evil" said that "look there are that loser who has no friends" with a laugh. At this point I was getting a bit upset, but decided to put a blame on my own approach because I read situation wrong, and approached the set who was NOT approachable. So as you folks can imagine this "solo experience" dragged my state and mentality a bit down, so now kind of recovering...


I have analyzed mistakes I did, and processed this situation but some questions remains.

How could I handle rejection in the "right way"? I mean when you get brushed off in a place with almost no people and you have no "safe haven"...

How to recover faster from rejection while going solo in a club?

How to get right answer to a question "why are you alone here"? This one is almost always one of the first questions asked.


If someone managed to read through all this wall of text, and found some mistakes I did not see, any advice would be welcomed. As I just started to go solo, and these kind of experiences are kind of killers...

 

[Leashed]

The three words I use to brush it off...

http://youtu.be/yP-IJZaY5gw

Dunno if the link is gonna work.

If you're there by yourself tell them you're waiting on friends who are running a bit late. But you can't possibly stay in the same bar for more than an hour by yourself without destroying your social value.

You did a great job by befriending somebody as soon as you walked in, it was too bad he wasn't compatible with your gaming techniques, but you could have just as easily told those girls you were there with him.

What you need to work on is getting out of the set as soon as you know you're not getting anywhere. Nobody likes a lingerer.

 

[Mike32ct]

Stay away from "instant wingmen."

IME, random guys you meet at the bar/club range from no game, to very creepy and weird, to evil backstabbers that will discard you as soon as they hit it off with a girl in the set.

If you're gonna be solo, operate solo. Wingmen should only be guys you already know and trust.

 

[j.619]

Stay away from "instant wingmen."

IME, random guys you meet at the bar/club range from no game, to very creepy and weird, to evil backstabbers that will discard you as soon as they hit it off with a girl in the set.

If you're gonna be solo, operate solo. Wingmen should only be guys you already know and trust.

Although I've had sparing success before with "instant wingmen", I have to agree with the fact that they're more than likely to hurt you than help. There's always better chemistry when you wing with someone you know and trust. Solo game isn't hard; had a separate number and kiss close this weekend running solo game while accompanying a platonic female friend at the club.

 

[Mike32ct]

Although I've had sparing success before with "instant wingmen", I have to agree with the fact that they're more than likely to hurt you than help. There's always better chemistry when you wing with someone you know and trust. Solo game isn't hard; had a separate number and kiss close this weekend running solo game while accompanying a platonic female friend at the club.

Exactly. I'm not saying all instant wings are bad. But, it's generally a bad bet. The odds are against you.

 

[AdAstra]

There are solid points in replies you folks provided, and pretty close to my thinking and analysis. I should have been prepared much better.

And what goes for instant wingmen, I think Ill use them as a "base" mostly next time...

Funny part of all this experience, is that after a bit sadness I am getting spikes of motivation to hit back the clubs and try again, sadly it is Monday so everywhere will be pretty empty :/

 

[Turuwal]

You have exactly the attitude you need to get good at this game. You went out, failed spectacularly, and now you want to go out again. This is excellent! Because each time you go out into the fray you will learn a tiny bit more of the puzzle and get further.

Here is a trick for solo game. This will take a while so don't worry. When you feel a set starting to close against you, preempt it by shifting your body language away slightly or by opening another set, depending on how hard the set is closing against you. With practice, you can keep a set finely balanced between acceptance and rejection.

Also most other guys are idiots who will try to fvck up your game even if you are helping them out by winging them. Don't take it personally. Be prepared to cut them out of the set if they continue to do idiotic stuff. Once you realise that you are completely on your own, the game becomes a lot simpler.

 

[skinnyguy]

The only people who benefit from going to clubs are professional athletes and celebrities.

 

[Turuwal]

The only people who benefit from going to clubs are professional athletes and celebrities.

Maybe. Maybe not. Solo clubbing is pretty much the hardest type of game there is, but after you've done it everything else becomes easy by comparison. You have to look at the long term benefits. There is no better way to get massive amounts of practice in the field in as short a time as possible.

 

[Mike32ct]

One other tip is don't just sit down with a group of random women. A lot of women hate that. It sounds "confident" but it can be quite rude actually. Start talking to them while standing. If it goes well, sit down with them.

 

[Peterpack]

I would say smaller bars which are not that full are the hardest to game solo

I prefer larger clubs where honestly no one notices who is with who.

Because i usually go out alone when i'm travelling for work, i just tell girls that and i have a pretty cool job so it lends itself to decent conversation and value building

otherwise something along the lines of "well my friends are all lame and didn't want to come out so i thought id come out on my own to meet some new people "

as for instant wings, yeah be careful, but you can make them work for you.

 

[AdAstra]

Maybe. Maybe not. Solo clubbing is pretty much the hardest type of game there is, but after you've done it everything else becomes easy by comparison. You have to look at the long term benefits. There is no better way to get massive amounts of practice in the field in as short a time as possible.

With this I have to agree. I yet to find harder place than empty club, with one set of two, and rolling in with low energy, solo and sober :/ Definitely mindblowing.

When everything is stacked against you what you have to lose, or this is the mindset would be nice to develope.

Yeah and for Mike's post, thing was that I wanted to escape the previous set with "style". As you can see this failed miserably

 

[3agle 3yes]

The only people who benefit from going to clubs are professional athletes and celebrities.

BS. If your dead at it, don't try to rationalise your failure.

One other tip is don't just sit down with a group of random women. A lot of women hate that. It sounds "confident" but it can be quite rude actually. Start talking to them while standing. If it goes well, sit down with them.

Who gives a sh*t what women hate?

Also, I'd advise against walking up to women who are seated or hanging about in a area. Instead, put yourself in position where a lot of women have to pass you (preferably at the bar), the one thing you don't want to do is walk away 'rejected' from a set.