Soft Lips

[HurricaneMarlon]

A little about me...

I am a tall guy, around 6 foot 4. I have fairly attractive looks, I have some self beliefs that I look better with a hat on backwards, but thats for another story. I tend to wear the exact same clothes a lot. I have weird beliefs that only certain clothes look good on me, I have tons of "nice" clothes, (brooks brothers, polo, etc...) but, I tend to see myself as more attractive when wearing a long sleeve red athletic shirt than a white lenin button down. I am muscular. I have worked out for a good bit being on the football team. I have a nice 6 pack. My torso is very long, (shorter arms and legs, not too short). I also have a long neck and big head, which isn't big in an awkward way although it may sound like it. I consider myself to be an 8 on a scale of 10. Although I'd rate myself (as well as girls would) as a 6.5 in a tuxedo but a 9.5 with my shirt off at the beach. Weird things.

I am very driven, I have high ambitions for my life and big dreams. I started my first business this year. It is a Landscaping/Lawn Maintenance company. So far, I only have had 2 customers. But we are only beginning and I cannot commit all my time to it until the summer. I have made roughly 420$ (My company has brought in 1100$ in revenue but I have subtracted a lot for startup costs). I also am very big into music. I have taken voice lessons (although I'm still not where I want to be because I don't practice) for two years. I also have pretty much taught myself how to play piano and guitar. I want to get better and faster at reading piano sheet music. Right now, I am working on my first song. My parents have given me a really nice recording setup to where I can work on recording and my music. I hope to expand this. I also want to play football in college, or run track. I play Defensive End and Outside Linebacker. I also am a top hurdler in the 110m hurdles in my state. Hopefully this will take me places. I have a lot of interest from colleges for football. I want to make a lot of money, or make a big impact of some kind. Huge. This is what I try to strive for everyday.

In the end, all the above was really just so you could see who I am. I want this to be mainly about self improvement. I think girls motivate me beyond anything else. Nothing brings me more joy in life than looking down at a innocent face thats absolutely adorable and feeling just that energy that you just know how much she wants you (and you want her in return). Or take for example the moment before an amazing kiss. Just that space in between you and her as your arms are wrapped around the small of her waste while looking down. Theres nothing more rewarding (in my eyes). Everyone has something that motivates them. Being able to share love with someone and feel their energy. That reciprocal feeling of "I want everything you are and everything you do" makes me my heart spin circles. I want this in its maximal form. Something I should clear up before I start this. I am not in to having sex with hundreds of girls. I'd much rather have one incredible girl, but I know that might take a lot of "auditions" (meeting a lot of girls). So I won't be pursuing meaningless physical desires. I want something deeper. Something I can feel in the gut of my soul.

A little history (from elementary school until now) about my love life. Kindergarden, those were the days. First girlfriend's name was Allison, brought her a cookie, got a kiss on the cheek. Second Grade, Her name was Kendall, we used to turn around in our chairs and smile awkwardly for hours at a time. My heart turned at this. (Wouldn't do that today). 3rd-6th Nothing but flings. In 6th grade I met this girl from a camp I go to for a month during the summer, she was the most incredible girl I'd ever met at the time. We dated, said we loved each other. I'd still say it was kind of love, but we were too young to know what love really brings. I still love her as a person and talk to her today. That lasted a year or so. I then dated another girl, I met her at a track meet and she is Ok. 6.8 out of 10. She was needy so I dumped her. Then I went to the beach with my very good friend. (This would turn out to be an annual trip with more kisses every year). My first kiss was the summer after 7th grade at the beach with a girl named Anna who was 16 when I was 13. Didn't know how to kiss at the time. So now 8th grade. I dated a girl named Emily. Ill speed this story up now. 9th- Hooked up with a few hot girls, some ugly ones while drunk which I got a lot of **** for. Dated an awesome girl for 4 months but we had conflicting personalities. Summer after 9th - Me and my mate I mentioned earlier hooked up with over 30 girls in a 7 day span. 10th -Dated a girl known as a heartbreaker and a slut but she is sexy as hell. I dumped her after a month because she was crazy. Dated another girl for 4 months(Don't know why I did, wasn't all that). Summer of 10th- Beach trip with the good friend again, easy game. Kissed more than 50 girls in a 7 day span this round. Met an awesome girl who lives 7 hours away. I was her 4th kiss and she was my 70th or so but I care so much about her and am attracted to her on this very day. 11th grade (where I am now) - Fooled around with a couple of girls, some very hot ones actually, they seem to only like me for 1 date. (The one date that they do like me, I have their shirts completely off. These are girls that wouldn't normally ever do that. For some reason I can manage to turn a girl on like crazy for one night. Then I repel them, Don't know why) So here we are now. Ending my junior year of High-school. I got rejected by this girl I really liked who goes to my school. She isn't the hottest thing. But for some reason I was infatuated with her. She denied me. People say she won't date anybody because she simply doesn't want to in high school because she thinks it will mess her up. Idk. I wasn't that sad. I took her to prom though.

I want something incredible. I need to organize my life though. Ive got way too much going on, and I can't cut any of it out. I want to meditate, read, write, play my music and write songs, study, groom properly, socialize, journal, work on my business, workout at football and track, stretch, watch ted talks, read self improvement, read the news, drink a gallon of water a day... I just never seem to have the time. I also study for the ACT 30 Minutes before school everyday.

I want a life of women, whom I love and care for. A life of genuine, real, full hearted interactions. I want to be an ultimate version of a man. I want people to just get to know me and be like "What the **** does he have thats so special?". Love is what I want. And the will/means to follow my dreams. I want soft lips pressed so hard against my face.​

 

[HurricaneMarlon]

More on me
In continuing. In my last post I gave you an idea of my looks, what I do (football, track, music, ..), what I want to do in life (not sure, whatever I do I'd like to be the best at it), and my history with girls. (80 plus hookups, only 2 girls I've ever loved for real.)

You may be thinking I'm some sort of ****ing genius with girls. And I am. For one night stands. I can get a girl to do whatever I want her to for one night. I can't keep a girl for longer than that. That's why I have such high numbers, I don't want numbers. I want one stirring, soul filled relationship with my perfect girl who I love beyond measure, whomever that may be. Right now I have a major crush on the girl I talked about that I met at the beach, I'll call her Rainbow.

I don't want to talk about Rainbow right now because this thread is for self improvement. F Rainbow. I'll get to her later in my story.

So, what you now know about me in a nutshell
-Looks
-aspirations
-Hobbies
-History with women

Let me tell you a few things about my character..
I am very insecure. People don't see it consciously but they can sense it subconsciously. I'm not shy at all. I'm very talkative. I can open a conversation with anyone, my insecurities come with me being very controlling and not trusting women. I lie a lot. I try to make myself seem cooler than I am (who doesn't) I'm an extremist, if we aren't friends, you're dead to me. I care a lot about people. I have a huge heart. I'm also self centered. I'm egotistical and think only about myself. I'm driven. I'm impatient. I procrastinate things a lot. I could go on and on about random things that I am. Here, let me tell you the top three things I love about myself and the top three that I hate.
Love:
1. I'm persuasive
2. I'm driven
3. I'm a passionate lover

Hate
1. I'm an introvert
2. I'm self centered
3. I'm lazy

There's me for you.

In reading forums, I see many with all these goals and lists of things they are going to be. I don't have a "S.M.A.R.T" goal or anything. The only true thing I want in life is this: I want to do something that changes the world and I want to share my love and ideas with someone who is as crazy about me as I am about them. That's all. A lot to ask? I don't think. I'm alive, why not do my role?

Guys give me help. Where do I start? What has been most beneficial to y'all for improving your life?

Let's talk about Rainbow. This will be detailed.
I met this girl at the beach. She claims I was drunk every time that we met and I forgot her three times in a row. I remember the "fourth time" hadn't been drinking yet. Saw a cute girl with an amazing face, her eyes sparkled. (I love eyes more than anything else in a girl, I love looking deep into beautiful eyes and just meditating on the energies between me and the girl: unless she a hoe) anyways, She was about 30 yards away from me. I was with my buddy who comes with me on this beach trip every summer. I made eye contact with her and just motioned my fingers for her to come my way. It was pretty smooth, I felt like ****ing James Bond. She makes her way over to me with that wavy brown Tennessee hair, skinny face with a really fit body in an orange dress/skirt and white blouse. She was tan and when I saw those white teeth combined with a smile I was in love. We "met", I remembered her. And then I didn't pay her any attention the rest of the week sadly. I didn't know I liked her this much at the time. She's from Tennessee.

We texted throughout the year. We were at the same beach at the same time again later the next year and I convinced her to kiss me. (She doesn't kiss many guys, we are both 17 and I was her 4th kiss: she has had 6 boyfriends in her life at this point and has only kissed 3 of them. I was her first non-boyfriend kiss) That kiss sent chills down my spine. I remember it clearly as we say upon the seaside commons. I looked at her for awhile before kissing her, just seeing her big smile across her face. I waited and cherished the moment, just looking down at her. And then I kissed her. I backed out, pondered how that kiss made me felt while looking at her, and kissed her so hard with so much passion and feeling a second time (it was ****ing incredible). I'm so inlove with the feelings that I had that night. Anyways. We still talk today. She just wants to be friends, She says I'm the hottest guy she's ever talked to. She says she's so attracted to me, blah blah. She texts me really horny on occasion. Nothing vulgar because she's not that type of girl but you can just tell she wants it. But she still doesn't want to date me. I do live 7 hours away, but still. I like this chick. Help me out community.

And help me out with self improvement too please
Especially you Norwegian Dj, I respect you.
You'll hear from me soon.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Appreciate the shoutout!

Cant believe I read all this.

My biggest thing? Action, reading, consistency.

Ive read so many great books that have taught me so much about my own psyche and everyone else's. With philosophical questions and truths, you learn very quickly.

Action become a natural part of my life. Consistency requires goals.

Set ****ing goals. You cannot expect to achieve things if:
1. you don't put time into them.
2. you dont organize them - or even think of them.

The effort you put into your goals will show in your results. Clarity in thought.

You can meet this girl some time in the future. All is well.

 

[HurricaneMarlon]

Let's go.

Been on no fap for awhile now. Actually in my last post I made it seem like I like that one girl way more than I do. Don't get me wrong, she's great. I'm just horny as hell. I think it's been around 40 days. My shorts can rub me in the wrong way before I debate ****ing mattress.

Interesting thing. I downloaded a couple of those dating apps (badoo, plenty of fish, and tinder..) and just messed around on them. Of course you have to go through tons of ugly girls before finding cute ones, but I did. And I messaged them. I'm only 17, but right now, I'm planning on meeting up with a 23 year old hottie who lives about two hours away. She said she won't sleep with me on the first date, but she'd make out with me and give me a full body massage. That's cool. And she said she would probably sleep with me soon after. Granted I did run a background check on her to make sure it wasn't an old man, she's not. I made her send me a selfie of her with her doing a monkey face to prove she was real.

Btw. Thanks for replying Norwegian, can you give an example of what a good goal looks like?

So yeah, I'm working on getting women in my life. Have a track meet today. And my landscaping business is turning out well. I'll set some goals and have them back on here soon.

I'll also give y'all some more interesting stories to read bear with me here.
Gotta set the foundations first.

Peace

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Like I said, your progress will mirror your effort. I'm not gonna do it for you.

Daily actions, weekly goals, long term goals. Often revisited and always kept in mind.

 

[Mr. Cappucino]

Kid, you sound just like me. You sound exactly like me. And i'm in 11th grade as well. I'm not liking this. I've just realized how much of an egotisctical f*ck i am. Good thing i've changed though

 

[HurricaneMarlon]

Kid, you sound just like me. You sound exactly like me. And i'm in 11th grade as well. I'm not liking this. I've just realized how much of an egotisctical f*ck i am. Good thing i've changed though

I quoted in my intro to this that I do have some ****y issues. For me, it seems half of my egotistical self comes from actually thinking very highly of myself (confidence) and the other half comes from a hidden insecure self.

To Ruler and Norwegian. Thanks, I guess you're right. My only fear is that I will make goals that are too general to measure well, for example a goal I had set in the past was "Get a large scale group of girls that I am able to call up on a weekly basis". I could never really measure that as firstly what is "large scale" and secondly, my amount of "girl friends" changes almost daily. One day, Ill be texting multiple hot girls with awesome replies from all of them, and the next Ill be looking at my phone thinking that Ive burned all my bridges.

Anyways, Im gonna try to write goals here in this post right now, I may revise them later, but lets start small-scale.

For the rest of the school year goals
-Get A's on whichever exams I have to take, study and make sure to know the material down pat
-Medal at state in the 4 by 1 relay, and the 110m hurdles, you've made it all the way this far, don't get lazy
-Have 2 dates from now and until school ends. (3 weeks) Kiss both girls.
-Get 5 more landscape clients between now and the time school ends
-Have 1000$ in the bank before school ends
-Record your first song that you have written from scratch

Long term goals (Now and until I graduate)
-Get offered by a college for football and/or track.
-Have at-least 30 girls who you can call up at anytime if you are ever feeling lonely. Make a book of girls who you KNOW will always want to date you. (no cheating, they have to be hot)
-Get into a top college (Stanford, Princeton, Harvard, etc..)
-Make a 36 on the act, (Only 5 more points to go, I have a 31)
-Bench 225 at-least 25 times, Squat 500 and power clean 315
-Run a laser timed 4.4 forty yard dash
-Release your first album
-Make 50,000 dollars before graduating.
-Win the state track meet and break the school 110m hurdle record

These will be edited and revised, some of the goals sound a tad shallow, but they will get there.
When making goals, I noticed that I would try to make "habits" instead of goals. For example, "Talk to as many girls as I can" was on there before I erased it. Im gonna make a habit list down below. I also want to make a list of Life goals, but I need to think hard about my life and who I am, I don't want to just throw some words on here.

Here is some habits I am going to implement, I will include the habit and why I want to continue it.

1. Meditation- 20 minutes a day (I have heard crazy benefits of this. If you want to know why, go watch tyler Durden from RSD on youtube.)
2. Reading- 1 hour a day (Mental Sharpness/Knowledge)
3. Creative Expression - 1 to 3 hours a day (This is my music writing, or journaling on here, it will help get my mind flowing in the right direction, it is good for 'on the spot' thinking.)
4. Exercise- 20 to 2 hours a day (Even on days where I need to rest, at least stretch for 20 minutes to stay healthy)
5. Maximize interactions - Talk to as many people as possible (This will make me better socially and give me skills to use with women as well.)
6. Cleaning - 10 minutes a day (Need to learn to be less of a slob)
7. Look my best- (Everyday, act like I will meet the love of my life)
8. Plan the next day and get things ready night before- Self explanatory
9. Carry a note book for thoughts and ideas (organization)
10. No Fap or Porn (Yourbrainonporn.com for more info)
11. Practice voice, piano, guitar everyday
12. 8 and a half hours of sleep a night
13. 1 gallon of water a day
14. Take my vitamins every day
15. Watch a ted talk or some other inspirational video every day (10 mins)
16. Keep up with local events as much as possible

Wow, this sounds like a lot. I probably should add here one more thing, the brain works in waves, we get things done for short amounts of time, followed by slag times of little to no motivation. This is all part of the natural rhythms of our bodies, My main goal for these habits is to not get bogged down with cleaning or watching a ted talk if I have some major test I should study for. I will always get 8 and a half hours regardless of if I have done the others or not.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

If you're also into Tyler, you should look into ways to fix your diet too.

I like your habits. They help you with some of your goals and your life overall. However, you need more actions. The big HOW on how you will achieve your goals. Try to achieve a more detailed plan on HOW you will achieve your goals. What steps must be taken, daily/weekly habits? New actions each week? This will all give you more clarity and help you stay on path.

 

[HurricaneMarlon]

Making this plan now Norwegian. Ill post a link to a document, I don't want to post something so long on a thread. Thanks for the help

 

[HurricaneMarlon]

Still being a whiny little ***** (as tyler says)

I haven't really even set goals yet or started my habits I said I would. I just have no motivation to. I don't feel like dressing nice for school or giving effort. Someone needs to kick my ass in shape to get going. Advice, or motivational talk please. Somebody break me down to my lowest level and make me stop being such a *****.

 

[LearningSlowly]

The problem you are having is the planning vs doing problem. That problem is the fundamental core of this website. Write all you want, in fact, the writing is a form of doing, but mostly you need to do the things you write about.

When action is necessary, and that action offers no immediate reward, we tend not to do the action. We neglect and disrespect the decisions we made in the past.

Find a way to honor the commitments you make to yourself. Be like a soldier in the trenches. You will not receive a reward for your moment to moment bravery, but it will make all the difference later on.

With such a great start to your life, don't waste it. Get your ethics right, get working, and stay on this track.

 

[HurricaneMarlon]

The problem you are having is the planning vs doing problem. That problem is the fundamental core of this website. Write all you want, in fact, the writing is a form of doing, but mostly you need to do the things you write about.

When action is necessary, and that action offers no immediate reward, we tend not to do the action. We neglect and disrespect the decisions we made in the past.

Find a way to honor the commitments you make to yourself. Be like a soldier in the trenches. You will not receive a reward for your moment to moment bravery, but it will make all the difference later on.

With such a great start to your life, don't waste it. Get your ethics right, get working, and stay on this track.

I like this. And I do agree with everything you have said. You put it in better words than I was able to.

I won't let you or myself down I promise.
So there, there is my way to honor these commitments. I am making a promise to myself that I will take action.

Here's where I am now. I stopped NoFap. I was around 40 days and honestly didn't see one good benefit. I see real benefits in stopping usage of porn. There really is no science to suggest masturbation by itself is negative (unless overused). The only things I see that are bad are porn with masturbation so Im done with porn, Ill keep the masturbation to 3-4 times a week. I have such high testosterone right now, that the whole no fap thing makes me completely outcome dependent to a point where I cannot be present.

I still haven't gotten that date, girls don't respond well to me anymore. Mostly because I have been neglecting my social life. Football used to force me into a social life. I took a year off due to a broken back, but Now I fully back monday. A coach from Brown (ivy league D1 school) is coming all the way from rhode island down to the south to see me play in my spring game this friday. Nervous.

I am going to a baseball game tonight, Ill try to run game on some people, my main focus tonight will be on getting back into my social loop. Ill try to talk and engage with as many people as I can. And maybe go with the boys to hangout tonight. Tomorrow, Ill be going to a state championship dinner for all the track runners who made it to state. That should be a nice time. Then on sunday, I go to church and after that Ill be hopping on a bus to travel to a town around 3 hours away to spend the night and go to the track meet the next morning. Wish me luck.

Today was pretty bland. Had an english exam that consisted of 3 essays I Had to write in 2 hours and 55 reading multiple choice questions in 1 hour. Not fun. Basically did nothing productive today. Im hopping on the train right now. No more of the "ill start fresh tomorrow" bull****. I want to have a life where I can actually make this journal fun to read. Full of crazy stories. Anyways, still haven't set any goals, but I am about to go shower, get dressed to look nice, and go out. So Ill set some tomorrow morning when I wake up. Oh yeah, gotta lay some pine straw for my business, that will bring in some good money tomorrow.

Thanks for all of your support guys, Y'all mean a lot to me. I like this website because it helps with girls, but Is not focused on the whole fake pus deal. Its genuine game. Which i like a lot.

Ill report back either tonight (if cool things happen) or tomorrow night.

Cheers

 

[Dan08]

Kudos to you for knowing what you want mate and going for it, you've realised what's out there and want it.

Buttttttt, you come across as an egotistical prick as previously mentioned. It won't endear you to people, I mean sure they'll respect you for aiming high with your goals as we do here, but at the same time I'm less inclined to help you from one person to another until you learn some humility.

No one likes a ****.