"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Soft Harem Collapse

HalfPUAHalfAFC

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Over at RooshV a while back, Roosh posted a thread on "What's the Hardest Part about Being a Player?"

Answering his own question, he said, "harem collapse." He remarked that suddenly 3-4 girls will all go cold and drop out, even the #1 plate while the others also lose interest. All at once, BAM, you're back at rebuilding stage.

He was at a bit of a loss to explain it and was frustrated by it.

Well, speaking of coincidences.... I dropped one last week and two others took themselves off the roster. Another girl I met Friday and hit it off with (all signs pointed upward), texts me today with a change of heart.

I have a date tonight. Totally expecting a flake.

So, two questions: If you have experience with this, any explanations?

Also, any preventative measures you've taken to prevent this?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Demonpenz

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It happens. Sometimes it is life building your character for you. The move is to just stay humble and start grinding again. On flip slide sometimes your harem grows really fast. It is all about having that deep level obsession to keep growing,grinding, and to learn.
 

HalfPUAHalfAFC

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Hey, I get the keep grinding part. No intentions to stop.

My issue is this:

Say you get 2-3-4 pretty decent women into your rotation. Does this bring you to act a certain way that drives them off eventually? Are women demanding that only THEY can date around but the guy they are with cannot? (I suspect yes...they want EVERYTHING).

Also, I know not to talk about other women around the one you with.

But, does this having options situation, which removes your desperation, tend to backfire eventually? Do they expect undying attention, but of course give that and you're punished for it.

So, that's the explanation and what are the evasive maneuvers to prevent it?

The GUY should be in control of the collapsing harem should he show choose. What are the best ways to maintain that?
 

goundra

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they probably KNOW each other, or hear that you are a "player". So of course they dont want to be a "plate".
 

German Soldier

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As soon as they see you're not in it for the long run, they're gone. They're not stupid and it's easy for them to figure out that you're just going to throw them away. And nobody wants to really like somebody and have that person just throw them away.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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TillTheEndOfTime

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1) If you have 3-4 girls to choose from, girls have 10-15 guys to choose from. You didn't make the cut.

2) Believe it or not, but not EVERY girl is a slvt. Shocking. If you believe everything you read on this forum, you would think that all girls have slept with 15 guys by the age of 20, but I have personally met 20+ year old virgin girls. And no, they weren't ugly. They were average to a little above average. One was pretty.

What I am building to is that if a girl senses you're just in it for sex, she may lose interest. Some girls actually want a relationship believe it or not.

Now I am just waiting for all the butthurt posters coming on and being like "YEAH YOU THINK SHE'S A VIRGIN BUT SHE IS LYING!!! HOw5 Do24 U KNOW? TROLLOLOLO"

Take it for what it is worth. The butthurt won't believe, but I know the truth.
 

HalfPUAHalfAFC

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Well, two of them are no great loss. Decent people and lays but not long-term prospects. So, yes, maybe they sense that.

Still, among the three, there's no possible way they know each other.

Anyway, I'm asking how to keep these three around (again, one I dumped).

I just wanted to start a conversation on effective strategies to keep a harem afloat on the guy's terms, not their's.

I know some guys here have experience with this more than others.
 

Mr. Bond

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I've had the experience of girls wanting to be more than a plate - eventually most girls are going to find a point where they are frustrated with the fact that they can't have you all to themselves. It may not be a result of anything you did wrong or anything you can control.
 

Greasy Pig

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http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=196218

I went through it last year. Women being women, they all need to be paid off at some point. They're not going to keep giving you pvssy on credit if they know you're not going to commit.
Just charge it to the game and start a new roster. It's not easy but not impossible.
 
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