Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Social Status / Women Explained

Maximus_Decimus

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2003
Messages
183
Reaction score
5
I ran into this little gem over at www.fastseduction.com. Definitely one of the more insightful threads I've read in the last few months. It is supposedly written by a woman. Regardless of the gender of the writer, the writer is dead on and there is much to be learned from this thread. For those new to the seduction community, it is not an easy read … but if you take the time to understand each and every concept below, it is well worth it. Following the thread, I will post my own commentary on what Hitori wrote.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The original thread can be found at http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/read?178831,31)

Social Status / Women Explained (1 of 53), Read 3691 times
board: >> Playettes
from: Hitori
date: Friday, September 24, 2004 10:33 PM

A WORD OF WARNING: I'm a chick, so this is posted in Playettes. If I were a guy, I would post it in Advanced, because if you're not getting laid already this WILL NOT HELP YOU. Knowing how an airplane works doesn't mean you can fly it.
With that said:
Chick logic makes sense.

THE BASIC PRINCIPLE

Chicks act at all times to _gain_ and _maintain_ social status. This is more important to them than getting laid.

QUALITIES OF HIGH STATUS PEOPLE

They are admired and desirable.
All manner of people fit into this category, and _to a certain extent_ it's cyclical; if you have high social value you're admired, and if you're admired you have high social value. On the other hand, there are all kinds of ways to be desirable and admired; hot chicks fit into this category, but so do politicians, rocket scientists, rockstars, PUAs (Pick Up Artist), and rich men. In this category HBs have the upper hand. Evolution has engineered men to pick partners for health and beauty, so a nice set of tits WILL take you further in this world than a nice set of pecs. Go figure.

They are relaxed and confident
Confidence is VITAL to high social status. It doesn't matter whether you're confident because you graduated from the school of hard knocks or because you've had everything you ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter; if you're confident, you are relaxed in the knowledge that you can handle whatever life throws at you, and succeed at whatever you undertake.
You'll vibe this confidence at the people around you, and it will be a powerful positive experience for them. HSE (High Self Esteem) people will appreciate you, and LSE (Low Self Esteem) people will desire or envy you.
Relaxation and confidence also means you're NOT NEEDY. This is good because needy men tend to come across as either pathetic or dangerous.

They behave naturally
This is what it means to 'be yourself', in the classic dating-advice sense. It doesn't mean burp and fart and be depressing if you feel like it. It means DON'T BE TRYHARD. I cannot stress this enough. Fake it till you make it, of course, by all means, but for God's sake MAKE IT. Socially intelligent people can -tell- when you are incongruent, and for women it's not just weird; it can actually be alarming.
It implies that you're hiding something - possibly one of the more dangerous low-social-status traits like fear, volatility, or disdain for the unattainable.

Their time and energy has value
If you have high social value, you recognize that your time and energy ALSO have value. This means you're willing to cut off boring threads of conversation - even with desirable people - and that you spend your time doing things that are ultimately productive, either in fun-value or in other ways.
If some HB wanders off 'to the bathroom' or 'to go dance' on you, you have run out of fun-value. Sorry, tiger.

They are socially intelligent
If you are socially intelligent, you know the score. You can tell who is tryhard and who is not, who gets laid and who doesn't, what it means when two chicks eyecode each other, etc etc ad infinitum. You understand, intuitively, who has social status and who doesn't, and what's going on when two people flirt, and all manner of other things.
THIS MEANS YOU DO NOT HAVE TO VERBALIZE IT. FEELING YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT AS IT HAPPENS SHOWS YOU ARE *NOT* SOCIALLY INTELLIGENT. FIGHT THE URGE.
This means no "You're flirting with me, aren't you?!"s, no "Your pupils are dilated... They say that means women are turned on...".
HANDLE THESE PRONOUNCEMENTS WITH THE UTMOST CARE. People who recognize this sh*t with regularity _do not need to talk about it_. When you go to a football game with your buddies, do you all sit around going, "Look at that... He kicked the ball into the endzone! That means a goal, right? Awesome! He made a goal!" NO! YOU DO NOT. You know the score.
The bad news about social intelligence is that if you are a guy most chicks, by and large, will have more of it than you. The good news is that it's an easy skill to acquire; all it takes is a willingness to observe people interacting and to TRUST the things you perceive this way. Most guys I know see many of the same things that women do, but because they don't (at first glance) have a clear logical framework to put them in, they ignore them as untrustworthy.

QUALITIES OF LOW STATUS PEOPLE

They seek approval and acceptance
People with low social status suffer from a deficit of validation. Sometimes they legitimately don't get the recognition they deserve, and suffer from unwillingness or inability to reframe; other times it's because they're neurotic and LSE and no amount of validation will ever be enough. Unable to validate themselves, they seek approval and acceptance from other people.

They are volatile and anxious
The world is a frightening place when you don't know what's going to happen next and you don't know if you'll be able to deal with it, whatever it is. People without confidence react to this great, frightening unknown with a level of perpetual anxiety that they vibe at others. Driven by their own percieved helplessness and rage, they will explode with fits of anger, or display disproportionate fear; of women, of change, etc.

They try to buy what they can't earn
In terms of social status, this is very important. People who don't understand how to DHV (Display High Value) will try to BUY approval. On ASF (alt.seduction.fast), this is known as supplication. It DOES NOT increase your social status or make you desirable to women. If it's clear you're trying to buy appproval, you will LOSE VALUE. A chick's reaction to a man she does not already find desirable supplicating for approval is about the same as YOUR reaction when you stop at a red light and some hobo goes to squeejee your windshield for dollars. Maybe you'll give him your spare change, sure - but what if he was asking for sex? Would you bang him?
I thought not.

They disdain what they can't have
People with low social status disdain what they can't have. Helpless to attain what they desire, they reject it pre-emptively instead.
This means men who hate hot women.
This means women who hate hot women.
This means UGs who hate the idea of anyone getting laid.
This means men who hate confident, competent men.

They are NOT socially intelligent
People with low social status are not socially intelligent. If you misuse or DON'T use kino, this is you. If you can't recognize an AI when it whacks you upside the head, this is you. If you don't know when to escalate, this is you.

TRANSFER OF STATUS

These are general principles of things that will increase your social status. If you don't have any in the first place, these -will not work-, I repeat, -will not work-. They require a steady foundation of at least moderate coolness. With that said...
 
Last edited:

Maximus_Decimus

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2003
Messages
183
Reaction score
5
YOU GAIN STATUS WHEN:
Your worth is recognized and appreciated
The higher the social status of the person appreciating you, the more status you gain. This is key. KEY KEY KEY KEY. Get out a highlighter, use it on your computer monitor if you have to. Remember this.
THIS IS WHY SOCIAL PROOF WORKS.
Not only that; if you establish high value, women WILL RISK LOSING VALUE to gain your approval. They'll gamble. They'll chase you.

This is also why, in those instances when you overqualify and DHV the f*ck out of some poor HB7 until she locks up, you MUST qualify her. If you do not qualify her, you are obviously not recognizing and appreciating her genuine merit - there is NO REASON for someone as cool as you to take a legit interest in her. You are using her as a blow-up doll that moans.
The higher your social value, the more women will want you to recognize and appreciate them. If you're a sufficiently cool PUA, women will try to snag you for an LTR _even if they're not looking for an LTR otherwise_, just for the implicit social proof you provide. This is purely social reflex. More to the point, of course, they'll hook up with you.

People seek your approval
When people qualify themselves to you, or visibly try to impress you, they are being TRYHARD. But what this says to someone who knows the score is that you have social value. You are worth impressing; more, to LookAtMeLikeMeDude, you are worth losing status to impress.

You display competence naturally
When you DHV without being tryhard, you gain cool-points. This isn't rocket science, and should not require explanation.

You cement someone's position beneath you
There are, essentially, three ways of cementing someone's position beneath you; you can give them the carrot, give them the stick, or give them both at once. For any of these to work, you must have the social status to back them up. This doesn't create something from nothing; it broadens the divide that already exists.

It's possible to display higher value than someone by being nice; if they seek your approval and you grant it, or call them 'cute' or other nice-but-diminutive-nicknames, or act - more generally - in a parental sort of way. Also included here is genuinely helpful advice, on fashion or food or PU (Pick Up).

It's possible to display higher value than someone by being cruel; you can call them out on their flaws or their low-status behaviors easily enough. There is a danger, here, of seeming to snub because you envy. Envy implies uncoolness.
Finally, there exists the backhanded compliment or subtle snub. You out-AMOG (Alpha Male Other Guy) some guy like he's one of your best pals, and on the surface it's all in good fun, but his value plummets and yours soars. Likewise, if you neg some chick or use TD's (Tyler Durden’s) Elastic Snapband Effect, her value -insta-drops- and because women are -driven- to maintain social status, she will immediately hop-to to get it back up. It's not about getting laid; the IOI (Indicator of Interest), in this case, is all about value.

You IMPLICITLY display social intelligence
IMPLICITLY. In other words, you THINK LIKE A CHICK. You eyecode. You AMOG-destroy. You are part of the 'Secret Society'. Here I'm going to back up on everything I've implied so far and say the reverse; it's possible to explicitly display your social intelligence and make it work. HANDLE WITH CARE, though. This is DANGER, WILL ROBINSON. If you don't have the value to pull it off, you'll look like a creepy presumptuous loser.

If some chick is clearly trying to qualify herself to you, or transparently DHVing, or even just struggling for your attention, you can neg-qualify her in the following manner, playfully:
"It's okay, you don't have to (do that/try hard/whatever) to get my attention. See?" Throw an arm around her, kinohug her. The first time a guy did this to me, it hit me like a -bomb- of insta-hotness. By doing this, you simultaneously A) drop her value relative to yours, B) grant her attention from a position of power, and C) show you know the score.

You screen
If you screen people who are attracted to you, you increase your relative value. This is why women maintain that NO WOMAN EVER DELIBERATELY GETS LAID with a man who is not wildly attractive and high-status. But WE know that of course women get laid on purpose! It's not like that HB8 you did over the weekend tripped, fell, and landed on your d*ck. If someone CHASES you, their status is lower than yours. This is why you say, "Want to come over and look at my stamp collection?" rather than, "Want to come over and have sex?". SLUTS CHASE. Chicks with value are accustomed to screening. It's important for her to maintain the illusion that she did not INTEND to f*ck you, in order to maintain her social value.
A good way to display social intelligence is to understand and accommodate this. This is why explicitly acknowledging the seduction process is dangerous: if it's out on the table, out loud, that you're trying to f*ck her and she -goes along with it anyway- she LOSES FACE because she's been UNMASKED as a co-conspirator in your getting laid.
This is where chick logic comes from. I'll write another post on it, sometime.

YOU LOSE STATUS WHEN:

You show outcome-dependence
When you show that you are outcome-dependent, you LOSE FACE. By demonstrating outcome-dependence, you make it clear that you aren't having fun (which high-status people do, remember) - instead you are gambling your time and status in the hopes of pay-off in the form of sex with this chick who you clearly regard as COOLER THAN YOURSELF. You are acknowledging her value. She is the prize. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.

You try to buy approval
You supplicate. You imply that you don't know how to legitimately display your own worth, so you need to resort to trying to buy the approval of those you are implicitly acknowledging as being higher-value than yourself. If she wasn't cooler than you, why would you care what she thought?

Your position is cemented as below someone
You are out-amog'd. You are treated in a diminutive way. Some chick gives you bad relationship advice and you eat it up without critical thinking. This is all explained above, in the 'gaining status' section.

You chase
Chasing is a _gamble_. Chasing is aggressive pursuit. It can succeed, sure - but it allows the other person, the higher-status person, the chas-ee- the ability to screen. They choose, you don't.

SLUTS CHASE. Women will avoid being labelled 'sluts' at all costs because they are at the BOTTOM of the social totem-pole, with the WBAFCs (Way Beyond AFC). Sluts in the traditional sense are women whose need for validation is so great that they have gambled away all their buying power trying to fill it. A woman who is perceived as slutty has a hard time finding quality ass because quality ass is likely to screen _her_. She is a LAST RESORT F*CK.

Not only that, but other women (and men) on their way up the social ladder will step on her, on the way. They will use her to reinforce their own superiority. The 'slut' is a lightning-rod for the 'cement someone's position as below you' method of gaining status.
Sad, but true.

WHAT THIS MEANS FOR THE PUA

For the PUA, this is GREAT. This is WONDERFUL. Why is this great for the PUA? Because the PUA has -worked- for his social status, and he knows how he got it. It was not delivered by the stork along with a nice set of tits, or trim and shapely thighs and a button nose; no, he's invested field work and sweat and other bodily fluids in getting good, and he is -good-.
Thus he can work women in ways that women are not equipped to work him. Consider the following analogy; who's better off, a self-made millionare or a lotto winnner? The self-made man! Why? Because he knows the value of his money, and how to invest it and make it grow. Some of this seems ruthless; be aware that women aren't thinking about it, when they do it. For most women, this is all pure instinct.

----------
Hitori wrote:

This hasn't been true (or at least obvious) in my experience, and I'm curious to hear your argument for it.
The way it's always seemed to me is that there is a single sliding scale of social status that everyone is on. Men AND women engage in these behaviors.
If you get a lot of hot chicks, YOUR coolness increases. If a chick gets her hands on a very cool guy, HER coolness increases. HBs don't necessarily compete for the highest status so much as they just try to grab as much for themselves as they can, while it's on the table.

----------
Hitori wrote:

As for women and their ability to be attracted to men, in the absence of their peers (to the extent that standards are dictated by community): Just as women will still display ASD (Anti-Slut Defense) when there's no-one to know they're having sex, women will still value peer-approval when there's no-one around to approve. It's like... an internalized groupmind.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maximus_Decimus
 
Last edited:

Maximus_Decimus

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2003
Messages
183
Reaction score
5
Commentary on Hitori's post

Here are my two cents on what Hitori has written:

Originally posted by Hitori
Chicks act at all times to _gain_ and _maintain_ social status. This is more important to them than getting laid.
Understand this concept. Why do chicks hang around the “cool guys” in school and college? Do you ever see the HBs hang around the geeky computer nerds that can only talk 1s and 0s?

You can be an attractive guy but still repel all the ladies if you accumulate a bad social rep. Get it?

If you think for a moment how Social Proof works, it is entirely consistent with the above concept.

Originally posted by Hitori
Fake it till you make it, of course, by all means, but for God's sake MAKE IT. Socially intelligent people can -tell- when you are incongruent, and for women it's not just weird; it can actually be alarming.
We talk about inner game and congruency on this site. What you are on the outside needs to be congruent with what you are inside. You can only fake it so long … eventually, women will sniff you out.

Originally posted by Hitori
People who don't understand how to DHV (Display High Value) will try to BUY approval. On ASF (alt.seduction.fast), this is known as supplication. It DOES NOT increase your social status or make you desirable to women. If it's clear you're trying to buy appproval, you will LOSE VALUE.
If you truly want to become an Alpha-Male, you need to earn the respect of your peers. Ever watch Gladiator? Notice throughout the movie, how Maximus (Russell Crowe) earns the respect of those around him. When he is first taken back to Proximo’s camp, he does not tell the other slaves he was a general – nor does Maximus boast his fighting abilities. The slaves slowly learn of Maximus’ capabilities and background as the story unfolds. By the end of the movie, Maximus has earned the respect of those around him.

Originally posted by Hitori
The higher your social value, the more women will want you to recognize and appreciate them. If you're a sufficiently cool PUA, women will try to snag you for an LTR _even if they're not looking for an LTR otherwise_, just for the implicit social proof you provide.


If you get a lot of hot chicks, YOUR coolness increases. If a chick gets her hands on a very cool guy, HER coolness increases.
Yes. This goes back to Hitori’s original idea that Chicks act at all times to _gain_ and _maintain_ social status. A chick may go out with you if it increases her social status. We can see this effect in a typical High School. Why do all the HBs hang out with the jocks?

Originally posted by Hitori
As for women and their ability to be attracted to men, in the absence of their peers (to the extent that standards are dictated by community): Just as women will still display ASD when there's no-one to know they're having sex, women will still value peer-approval when there's no-one around to approve. It's like... an internalized groupmind.
Yes, a woman will still put up ASD when her peers are not there to judge her. As Hitori puts it, you never ask a woman "Want to come over and have sex?". Rather, you ask her,
"Want to come over and look at my stamp collection?", etc.

Maximus_Decimus
 

usedtolurk

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2005
Messages
24
Reaction score
0
Age
42
I don't get what "cement" means.

When you say "buy" do you mean that literally as in buying things with money?
 

JSH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
1,095
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
London
love it
 

Double

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2004
Messages
1,215
Reaction score
1
she only tells how things are, not how to achieve it. great tip, huh. but at least there is much truth in it.
 

Maximus_Decimus

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2003
Messages
183
Reaction score
5
Originally posted by Double
she only tells how things are, not how to achieve it. great tip, huh. but at least there is much truth in it.
I'm glad you bring up this point.

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for life
- Confucius
The greatest thing when you understand how women think is that you can create your own methods/techniques to seduce them. There are a lot of methods/techniques that are posted to help you deal with a specific situation with a woman. But in real life, the situation is constantly evolving ... it is constantly in motion. What happens when you run into a situation where you cannot pull a method/technique that this site hasn't covered? In such a situation, you will have to make the best decision possible based on your knowledge & experience and (and what a piece of knowledge Hitori has provided us).

Maximus_Decimus
 
Last edited:

Jay-X

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
Messages
1,337
Reaction score
1
Location
Italy
for sure the article i most appreciated, after evil ways, my compliment to that girl!
 

drmeathead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2004
Messages
490
Reaction score
6
Age
45
"You cement someone's position beneath you
There are, essentially, three ways of cementing someone's position beneath you; you can give them the carrot, give them the stick, or give them both at once. For any of these to work, you must have the social status to back them up. This doesn't create something from nothing; it broadens the divide that already exists."


Can someone elaborate on giving the carrot, the stick, or both to cement somebody beneath you. I havent heard of this before.

Thanks
 

de silva

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
77
Reaction score
0
Excellent points made.

do you all sit around going, "Look at that... He kicked the ball into the endzone! That means a goal, right? Awesome! He made a goal!"
I think that proves it's not a guy posting this...
 

rgeere

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2003
Messages
1,930
Reaction score
1
Location
Fort Worth, Texas
Originally posted by drmeathead
"You cement someone's position beneath you
There are, essentially, three ways of cementing someone's position beneath you; you can give them the carrot, give them the stick, or give them both at once. For any of these to work, you must have the social status to back them up. This doesn't create something from nothing; it broadens the divide that already exists."


Can someone elaborate on giving the carrot, the stick, or both to cement somebody beneath you. I havent heard of this before.

Thanks
That is typical Alpha behaviour ... you give them the carrot as a reward for good work, the stick is putting the impedence on them, and giving them the carrot and the stick is leading them around.
 

Maximus_Decimus

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2003
Messages
183
Reaction score
5
Originally posted by drmeathead
Can someone elaborate on giving the carrot, the stick, or both to cement somebody beneath you. I havent heard of this before.
Thanks
The carrot is used as a reward. The stick is used as punishment. To get a donkey to go where you want it to, you can dangle a carrot in front of it, or alternatively, beat it from behind with a stick.

To use a carrot:

Originally posted by Hitori
It's possible to display higher value than someone by being nice; if they seek your approval and you grant it, or call them 'cute' or other nice-but-diminutive-nicknames, or act - more generally - in a parental sort of way. Also included here is genuinely helpful advice, on fashion or food or PU (Pick Up).
To use the stick:

Originally posted by Hitori
It's possible to display higher value than someone by being cruel; you can call them out on their flaws or their low-status behaviors easily enough. There is a danger, here, of seeming to snub because you envy. Envy implies uncoolness.
Maximus_Decimus
 

h2o

Banned
Joined
Sep 3, 2004
Messages
935
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Location
welcome to my world
bump for Greatness
 

Don Giovanni

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 18, 2002
Messages
24
Reaction score
4
There is a game of hierarchy that too many people play in life. Most people do not escape this hierarchy and will always see themselves in relation to other people. Who’s more popular? Who’s the cool guy? What are they doing?

This article is a perfect example of how you can get stuck in this game of hierarchy. When I first read this article, I thought the author said some interesting things that were even ‘insightful’ in a way. It is seductive, isn’t it? An article like this that seems to reveal so much about ‘social proof’ and how the hierarchy works, but more importantly how you can learn to play the game of ‘social status’ just as well too.

If this article was indeed written by a girl, should you be really that keen on following it without knowing where it leads? You have guys shouting on this board each week for guys to not act like girls and to man up.

Be a man.

Now, you want to learn how to be a woman. “This isn’t what we’re trying to do – this is about social status. You’re being overdramatic!” But I’m not. How many articles have you read about how women think and act differently than men? I have met some real men in my life and I can’t begin to tell how really different they are from what passes for a man these days. Can I even compare them at all to women in any way then or are they too hyper-masculinised to even talk to women? Far from it, they seem to interact better with women than ‘cool guys’ playing the hierarchy game. They seem incredibly in tune with themselves and the women they speak too so whenever someone walks away, they are generally impressed and think “Wow, that guy said something really interesting.” They’re not left thinking about how ‘cool’ these men acted, but instead with feeling impressed with who they were and what they said.

You don’t become a man by listening to a guide on how to pander to little girls even more. The social realm is really the realm of women. You knew this from observing them gossip and ultimately do nothing all day but talk. You would have to take action and get her to do stuff with you instead of always talking. Women aren’t just masters of communicating, they’re masters of socializing – masters of the game of hierarchy. Women will always anxiously compare themselves to every passing girl and wonder who is and who isn’t more popular than them.

She’s inviting you into her insanity and you’re just walking in? What’s the difference between this and her advice “You should always buy a box of Godiva chocolate on the first date, because girls LOVE Godiva chocolate. Oh and don’t forget the roses!” Only this advice doesn’t have you just buy her something. This has you become an acrobat to swing and jump through hoops and live always under the hierarchy of social status, wondering if you’re ‘cool’ enough.

There is a distinction between an employee and an entrepreneur that can be applied very appropriately here. An employee works for someone else and will always climb the corporate ladder until he ceases to be an employee. An entrepreneur sets out to build his own ladder.

You have guys who have learned to play the game well and learned how to climb up the social hierarchy to attain that magical social status, which everyone is talking about. What’s wrong with this if it gets you the girls? What is wrong with social proof? You guys are smart and a part of you have always known all along that it was wrong to always bend and warp who you were to ‘fit in.’ Now some girl is telling you a sure way to bend and contort to ‘become the cool guy’ and get social status.

What is the Nice Guy really but a guy who warped himself either for women or society and ultimately failed? Now you have a surefire way of succeeding. You think you’ve entered another reality. One of the deepest fears and suspicions of the Nice Guy while he bumbles around in Nice Guy World is that he isn’t really living in the same reality as everyone else… while he had to struggle with girls, he secretly suspected that other guys were partying every weekend and getting laid left and right - he only needed to look at the jocks and jerks to know there was something more that he was blind to. He might be exposed to their world and think “Wow, I’ve been blind all this time. I didn’t know this was how people really lived. What have I been doing all these years?” And he’ll kick himself for it and try to make up for it by learning to be ‘cool’ and finally get to live in the ‘real’ world getting laid all over. But what he didn’t know was that even if you became like the jocks and jerks you would still never quite get there to the real world.

There is a real world and you won’t get there by climbing the hierarchy of ‘social status.’ The real world must be made by you. It will be the world you create. And you know what? You’ll love it there and people will wonder how you can be so confident and happy with your life. When you talk to them, you will already be in tune with yourself so that for the first time you can also be in tune with the girl. She won’t be wondering in her head whether or not you’re one of the cool guys, because she’ll be too immersed in you, too impressed.
 

Maximus_Decimus

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2003
Messages
183
Reaction score
5
Originally posted by Don Giovanni
There is a game of hierarchy that too many people play in life. Most people do not escape this hierarchy and will always see themselves in relation to other people. Who’s more popular? Who’s the cool guy? What are they doing?

This article is a perfect example of how you can get stuck in this game of hierarchy. When I first read this article, I thought the author said some interesting things that were even ‘insightful?in a way. It is seductive, isn’t it? An article like this that seems to reveal so much about ‘social proof?and how the hierarchy works, but more importantly how you can learn to play the game of ‘social status?just as well too.
Hitori's article is good because it describes how women view and deal with social status. Whether one implements all the methods contained in that article to increase their social status is up to them. However, one shouldn't be ignorant of reality.

Hitori offered a good piece of knowledge in that article. Knowledge can be used for good or bad. I would think that most people benefit when they expand their knowledge.

Mind you, the hiearchy of status is found everywhere, and not just in social circles. Politics? Military? Business?

Maximus_Decimus
 

Don Giovanni

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 18, 2002
Messages
24
Reaction score
4
You can do a search on this site for all the debates that have taken place around the issue of being an employee vs. being an entrepreneur (starting your own business, investing to eventually be able to quit your job, etc.). How do you convince someone that working for yourself to eventually achieve financial independence is better than working for someone else and having them reap the fruits of your labor? How do you tell them to strive for more, to seek freedom rather than security? How do you tell them to BE DARING .

Don Giovanni, I think you’ve gone off the other side of the “Be a Man” argument.

Social status is not a game that only "girls" play. In fact, I find that MEN have a greater use for social status than women. The Alpha Male in the herd MUST understand everyones standing, including his own, in order to maximise his herds potential, and to stay at the top. By definition, the Alpha Male is at the TOP of the social ladder. If someone is OFF the ladder, he's called a hermit.
Are you beast or man? If you are a man, then stop referring to yourself as livestock.

There is a difference between living in the cage that is social hierarchy and being social. Your social wellbeing in life is just as important as your physical wellbeing. Talk to girls, get their numbers and date them – but on your own terms.

You seem to want to be the ‘coolest guy’ in the room or the ‘Alpha Male’ of the group. Why? Presumably to maximize whatever it is you want – attention, ‘respect’ (hah!), women, etc. If you’re referring to attention, know that you’re letting other people decide your happiness for you. It doesn’t have to be this way. Your joy can be your own and it doesn’t have to be at the mercy of whatever scraps of attention some girl throws your way. And the respect you receive is really the respect you give yourself so if you take care of yourself, it’ll tend to itself.

But for the sake of women is probably the real reason you are so eager to figure out the hierarchy and climb the ladder. I’m going to let you in on a little secret then.

End Game.

There is something I realized over the years about DJing and getting the women and that is End Game. If you succeed as a Don Juan, you will reach End Game. Have you ever noticed that some guys can give great advice to other people for their relationships even though they might never have been in a similar situation? Where does this come from? Do you think every time they encounter a problem with a girl they rush to look up a solution for it in the DJ bible? Or do they post it on a dating forum and let the majority decide the future of their relationship? No, they don’t. What they know does not come from a specific ‘tip’ they read somewhere, but from a wisdom of life. This is End Game and at this point, you do know how to handle women appropriately and more importantly how to make yourself happy. But you won’t get there if you’re constantly trying to be ‘cool’ or ‘Alpha’ in order to impress some chick.

I find Vassago’s farewell post very enlightening: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=41291

If you don’t know, Vassago is one of the oldest posters on the board and was here when Anti-Dump was here too. He used to criticize/bash Anti-Dump and his ideas quite frequently. Notice Pook’s response.

Hitori’s article is good because it describes how women view and deal with social status. Whether one implements all the methods contained in that article to increase their social status is up to them. However, one shouldn’t be ignorant of reality.
Plato, a Greek philosopher told a story about a Cave. In the dark cave were men chained and forced to stare at a wall their entire lives with the only source of light coming from a small fire above them at a distance and out of sight. On the wall that the men were forced to stare at, shadows appeared frequently and the man who spotted and identified them the quickest was applauded by the rest. But one man was unchained and forced fighting into the sunlight and although dazed and confused, he realized that this was the real world. Here was freedom unknown and the shadows made by the fire exposed. The man was returned to his former position staring at the wall in the cave. The man being exposed to the truth could now spot and identify the shadows on the wall better than any man, because he had seen what caused the shadows. He could now easily become the most applauded and honored man in the cave, the man with the highest status.

No, I don’t believe people should be ignorant of reality. That is the reason I said this article is a perfect example of how you can get stuck in the game of hierarchy, because this article is an example that reveals (or unintentionally reveals). It is good to know what other people are saying, not in order to better play this game of hierarchy and learn how to bend yourself to impress some girl, but so that you can better open your mind and free yourself from it.

Mind you, the hierarchy of status is found everywhere, and not just in social circles. Politics? Military? Business?
Come now Maximus, use your sense. In politics, military, and business you will find structured roles and ‘statuses’ that are imposed. Who is to say what ‘status’ you occupy in life? Your friends? Or god forbid – some girl? You can get fired at a job if you step out of line with your boss. Is some girl going to fire you? Or will she just ‘demote’ you to ‘uncool’? Take control of your life and don’t let your joy be at the mercy of women.

Guys, you are the man in the cave who has been given the opportunity to walk in the sunlight. Who doesn’t feel their eyes have opened since coming here and have finally gotten a glimpse of the outside world after living in a dark cave for so long? You have been outside the cave and you have seen something few have. You have been outside every time you read an article and imagined something being possible in your life that wasn’t before. You are outside whenever you hear some guys telling you that you CAN live and love the way you want to – and for brief moment, you believed it.
 

Maximus_Decimus

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2003
Messages
183
Reaction score
5
Originally posted by Don Giovanni
No, I don’t believe people should be ignorant of reality. That is the reason I said this article is a perfect example of how you can get stuck in the game of hierarchy, because this article is an example that reveals (or unintentionally reveals). It is good to know what other people are saying, not in order to better play this game of hierarchy and learn how to bend yourself to impress some girl, but so that you can better open your mind and free yourself from it.
Yes, it is good to recognize and understand your environment. The aformentioned article by Hitori is good because she accurately describes the dynamics in a social environment involving women. What you do with that knowledge is up to you. But we should appreciate Hitori for the knowledge that she has imparted upon us.

Originally posted by Don Giovanni
Come now Maximus, use your sense. In politics, military, and business you will find structured roles and ‘statuses?that are imposed.
And in politics and the military, how do people manage to climb the structure? Don't you think other people's perception of them influences whether they can ascend the next level of that structure? What is good about Hitori's article is that she reveals the dynamics of perception within a social circle involving women. She is giving us knowledge and it is up to how the reader wishes to use this knowledge.

Maximus_Decimus
 

Demon Lord

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2008
Messages
13
Reaction score
0
Age
47
Location
Abidjan
Like i said, women are crazy... Where are they hiding their sense of logic?:eek:
 
Top