social standing and male friends you hang out with

[princesimba]

i personally do not have a lot of male friends, though i do have a handful of really close ones whom i treasure and treat like brothers. Their interests
generally include "nerdy" stuff such as studying, church-related activities, politics and history, even music but i love them anyway. The rest of them just seem to come and go, mainly down to a difference in interests, and try as i might to get to know them better, i honestly think its not my fault i do not share common interests with the majority of men in my country. (clubbing, drinking, "hitting" on girls. Oh please...)

Now we all know girls like men who have high social standing, but i was wondering if this social standing is just high social standing among females,
or high social standing among all people? Im curious becos people who know me will know that i am:
1. good at women
2. do not have many male friends for some reason

I also realize that some men i know who are good at women around me are the same. Very sociable, but very few real "brothers" around them. Some dont even have any. Some are lone rogues, charming as hell bed any women they want but forever alone, kinda reminding me of 007 (without guns) One of them hasnt talked to me for years and recently asked me to be his best man for his wedding. I literally went "WHAT THE HECK DUDE?"

I would like to hear your opinions on whether or not my lack of male friends would affect the way women see me. Whether or not "being different" is really a good thing. And more importantly, whether or not having less friends to hang out with will make me a more boring person than those who do. Becos hanging around what they call "nerds" does make you more...
well, "nerdy".

 

[Who Dares Win]

If you want to fly as an eagle you cannot surround yourself with chickens.

The point is just like you become what you do (your actions shape what you are even before being something and act accordingly), at the same point those around you affect your beliefs, they can either push you highter or drag you lower.

As I suggest many times in this forum, any guy who wants to live a better life have to leave his comfort zone and any toxic surrounding he has around.

A nerdish guy really hardly is a born nerd, he is more likely that because of his family and environment, a father who keeps reproaching his son and kills his self-esteem is much more damaging than being bald at 18, a teacher
who keeps calling you idiot for any time you try to take iniziative in any field is worse than having a below average IQ.

A group of friends with serious self esteem issues which feel inferior to one of them whi is trying to take action, will do their best to stop him by making fun of him,insulting him or keep telling him that he is pushing too much.

Even a innocent line like "do you really think that hot girl will bother to talk to you" said after noticing an attempt of approach at the club can be a serious obstacle to self improvement.

I'm keeping this general but you got the point, if you want to hit on hot girls at the club its better to surround yourself with guys who have such desire and such motivation coupled with a positive attitute.

Maybe your friends just need a little motivation but you should try to pull them up and if you find out that instead its them dragging you down then just move.

 

[VladPatton]

^^^Agreed.

Not all of your friends will serve all of your purposes all of the time. With some friends you do some things, and with others you do something else. Nothing wrong with that.

If you like racing cars and your buddy doesn't even have a license, you can't MAKE him love racing like you, and he'll never be able to help you with winning The Daytona 500. So you go to a racing club and you chill with other dudes who are into racing so you can advance and be a part of that world.

In short, it boils down to expanding your social circle.

 

[mrRuckus]

Do you have any real brothers to compare these "brother" relationships to or are you just putting a fuzzy warm term that makes your friendships appear more special?

 

[VinceV]

If you want a friend, get a dog...seriously

 

[Mike32ct]

Do you good friends or "popular" friends?

Sometimes you get both, but often you don't. It's a compromise.

Focus on having good friends who treat you well and have their sh$t together.

If you focus too much on befriending guys that the ladies like, you might end up with some jerks that don't care about you.

 

[princesimba]

thank you for your replies. I think some of you guys misunderstood me. What im really asking is:

Do you need to have real friends, or do you just need to APPEAR sociable for women to label you as a "sociable" man?

 

[limerickdesign]

I can definetely relate.

I am very good at talking to women getting their numbers and bedding alot of them. I have gone out in public and pulled a girl during the day back to my place. I will only go out alone i feel stifled and judged when i have someone i know around me.

I went to alot of workshops apparently we are the cassanova types. We are very good with women but hardely have male friends we can relate more to the female gender and it intrigues us.

I'm still finding things out but one thing that kinda stood out to me not sure where this saying came from but:

You are either a wolf or a sheep

The downside of being a wolf is loneliness

The downside of being a sheep is boredom

 

[Mike32ct]

It's an age related thing.

Young girls are ALL about their "crew" or social circle/clique. So they strongly prefer a guy with friends.

Older women are fine with you having one good buddy. Then once you get into a LTR or marriage, they prefer that you have no (single) friends lol. They fear a single buddy will drag you to the bar or club with them and you'll cheat. My two good buddies are married. Their wives tolerate me, but I know they secretly loathe the idea that their husbands are friends with a single guy (for the above reason.).

But ultimately, having friends is not strictly necessary to get women.