Social Rut/ Getting Invited to Parties

[familyguyfan]

Originally posted by I-am-someone
If your friends are bums, dump them and find new friends. I know it sounds harsh, but you have to accept that you cannot change them. They remain who they are. Go out, meet new people and make new friends that will go out and do **** with you.

Yeah you're probably right. I've been hanging out with some sophomores a little more (I'm a junior), and they're all good guys, but I would also like to find some new friends in my grade. It'll be tough since most semi-popular and popular kids (though I already said I don't really care about popularity, based on my interests and the fact that I like to be pretty social, I generally like to hang out with those people more) already have their groups that they've been friends with for quite some time and it's hard to break in and be the new one, but I'll definitely try for it.

One thing people say is that in these kinds of situations once you start hanging out with some other people, your old friends often will start calling you more.

And yeah Disconnect, I agree with what you're saying. He is hypocritical because he and I have both talked to each other about how we hate when people do stuff like what he did to me last night. Hell, he even was talking about someone he's friends with and said one of the things he likes about him is that when you call him and he says he'll call you back, he actually will call you back unlike most people. Well my friend doesn't do that even though he likes when other people do that. So I'm definitely gonna talk to him about it.


Diaoz, it sucks doesn't it.

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

drop them. the sooner you do it, the better off you'll be, especially with that piece of shit who ditched you and went to the party without you.

 

[Diaoz]

Yeah it does suck alot mate, doesn't it?

What is advised here is probably true, dump them and get new friends.
It's probably some generation problem, I'm around your age too.

It just seems the majority of people our age(guys especially, weird but true), just can't seem to be organized or commited.

Well at the height of this problem, I started a post on renewing my social circle: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=55346

Now to think of it, it's been a whooping 6months wow, and I haven't fixed it much.
Better get of my ass NOW, you too!

 

[animal crackers]

You guys are wrong. It's not the fact that you don't have a fake ID. It's not your GOOD friends that's the problem. The problem is YOU.

Ask yourself this. If I was one of these friends, would I invite me to chill at a party?

Young people can be extremely selfish, everything they do is to benefit themselves. You obviously don't benefit them.

Benefits can include, but are not limited to:

-Laid back cool chill guy that likes to joke around.
-Social Proof. You are a cool guy and being around you makes them seem cooler.
- You are talented in some area. You're in a band, play football, pick up chicks. This is social proof to some extent.
- You are in tune with other people's emotions and can empathize really well. However this by itself sucks. You will become a girlfriend, and does not help by itself.
-You have access to things that others don't. This is where people were talking about getting a fake ID. Which may help, but it is really not good on its own. Best combined with one of the others above.

It all comes down to value. Some people have higher value than others, and those are the people that get asked to go to cool places. They are non-NEEDY, and don't care about one group of friends not calling them back or whatever because they are busy doing awesome **** with other people.

Then when they see the friends that blew them of they DO NOT confront them about it. They act as if the other people are childish for doing something so "immature." Word gets around of the other sweet stuff this dude is up to, the next chick he fuked, the sweet party he threw, that the friends that blew him of wouldn't dare do that again. He has too much value, and they will be begging him to hang out.

Are you always available for these GOOD friends of yours? People want what they can't have. Are you too cool for School? Fck man u have to be if you want to be the guy that everyone calls to do sweet ****.

Develop yourself into the sweetest person ever. Be unique, fun, interesting, and make people always wonder about you.

 

[familyguyfan]

Well, I did talk to my friend about it and I'm relieved to know that it really wasn't all his fault. When he got to the kid's house that he said he was going to before the party, he told the guy that they needed to go pick me up. But that guy didn't want to and refused to do so, and he actually drove my friend's car to the party. Now, my friend probably should have called me, but at least I know that he wasn't trying to ditch me. When I called him later that night while he was at the party he didn't hear his phone, and I know that is true because another friend of mine that he would definitely pick up for couldn't get through to him either.

There is, of course, the possibility that he made that up, but I highly doubt it because the kid who didn't want to pick me up doesn't really like me and is a d*ck to me for some reason (never done anything to him though). Plus, although he may not call me all the time, I know that he is trustworthy, and generally nice enough that he wouldn't blow me off so blatantly like that (which is why I was surprised he did when I thought so).

And animal crackers, any tips on how I can go about doing that? One of my problems is that I really am kind of laid back, but most people don't know it and won't really give me the oppurtunity to prove to them I'm not. The reason is because I've had a couple parties at my house and I was somewhat uptight at them because it was my house. But when I'm drinking and stuff and it's not at my house I'm not like that at all. So, the parties helped a little bit, but not as much as I had thought. How can I prove to people that I'm not uptight and am really laidback?

And yes I am available to my good friends when they need me so I don't think that part is an issue.