"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Social Proof from less desirable women

STR8UP

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We recently had a brief discussion about how associating with "lower quality" women might hurt your game with women of "higher quality".

While I agree that you generally don't want to be seen with warpigs, I think a lot of guys underestimate the power of social proof, even if the pivot isn't super attractive or if she might be (subjectively) judged as "lower quality".

I was reading Roissy's blog and came across this quote that supports the argument that it doesn't necessarily hurt your game to be seen with "lower grade" women. Matter of fact, I would go so far as to say that competition anxiety is competition anxiety, to a point.

I also think that it has little to do with the other womans subjective "quality". There has been more than one time that I have had women get catty over another chick and make a comment to the effect of "She's not that attractive/she's a ho/she's a skank. I don't know what you see in her". And I have heard this whether the other woman is attractive/slvtty/skanky or not. Competition anxiety is mainly about WOMEN in general, and has less to do with class or beauty.

The original blog post can be found here here

Lisa the typical female hater wrote in response to me:

“a man seen with “bar skanks” as you call them will be more attractive to women than a man with no woman at his side.”

Only to other bar skanks.

A fairly common anti-Roissy diatribe is the “like begets like” argument. This is how haters attempt to diminish the achievements of their targets of hate. They reside well above that muck, don’t you see. As with most hate, it strikes a superficially plausible note, but in reality is proven utterly false.

I have observed that women’s preselection programming is a blunt algorithm. That is, when a woman sees you with another woman, she does not filter your quality based on your companion’s beauty as perceptively as a man filters for female beauty. You have some wiggle room in your choice of social proof. If you’re in the company of a 5, the power of preselection will work all the way up to 8s, as long as you are seen to be having a good time with your 5. To other women, the fact that you make your pawn female companion smile and laugh is more important in evaluating your quality as a man than is the exact beauty rating of your companion.

Naturally, there are limits on the applicability of women’s preselection mechanism. If your social proof is an obese 2, 10s will not give you much favor. Women are subconsciously much less forgiving of blubber on other women than they are of the prettiness or lack thereof of other women’s faces. A slender 4 with good fashion sense and obvious enjoyment at being in your company will trigger the preselection switches of plenty of hotter women in a bar.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Trader

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Let's first state the obvious: if you have a hottie with you, then basically you already have social proof to the extreme

Now, let's say you are with a regular girl, say HB6, but you are good looking/dressed really nicely, have muscle, etc - in other words, you have ALREADY demonstrated high value. Then that HB6 you are with, will also give you extreme social proof since girls will say: 'What the? Why is he with her instead of me? He can do much better than that! What does she have that I don't?' And then she gets totally jealous and wants you

I have experienced this beforehand

Now if you are just a regular guy with a regular girl, well that does not really give you lots of social proof
 

Jeffst1980

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I don't necessarily believe it will hurt your game to be seen with low quality women. I believe constant association with them will drag you down and ultimately erode your game with high quality women.

It's because our brain are elastic. None of us are immune to the effects of our social environment (or lack thereof--that's why all people forced to live in complete solitude for an extended length of time eventually regress back to very primal states).

If you have a yearlong streak of dating trashy, disrespectful, uncouth women, you're going to learn a thing or two about dealing with them out of necessity. That's fine, but what if you meet a stunning, classy, educated beauty? The skill set is completely different--High quality women are for the most part EXTREMELY well calibrated socially, if only because they attract attention everywhere they go. Sure, they have the same attraction mechanism as everyone else, but they also have more rigorous filters to contend with. They can easily sniff out guys that aren't used to dealing with women of high quality.

If you recall any past relationships with girls that really weren't worth your time, you'll likely find it alarming that they were able to drag you into such petty drama and manipulate you, despite your underlying belief that they were "unworthy" of you. Some low quality girls, BDPs especially, are so adept at manipulating others that it seemingly more than makes up for their defects in other areas. We see it on this board all the time--and the kicker is, the posters KNOW these women are low quality and STILL can't get rid of them. And men are supposedly the more rational gender!

The main problem I see is that low quality women are usually desperate and have very little to lose. That's a bad combination.

I'm of the opinion that it's really REALLY tough to "dabble" in low quality women without getting sucked in. Why chance it just for sex?
 

taiyuu_otoko

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it's a little more complicated that a single variable equation.

girl see's you with any other girl. She wonders why, either why you are with a hotty, or why you are with war pig. Either way she'll spend mental energy thinking about you. When she spends any amount of mental energy on you, she will subconsciously assume, at some level, that you are intriguing, although she won't know why.


They've done marketing studies where they gave products really goofy names that didn't have anything to do with the product. People spent more time than usual pondering the product because of this, and convinced themselves they must be interested in said product, and sales went up.

Social proof, any social proof, is just a marketing trick to capture her attention. It's what you do with the attention that makes a difference.
 

Tazman

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I used to think it was a bad thing to have women I felt were unattractive approach me, but they were only more "forward" than the more attractive ones. I found that was the only difference. I'd get more subtle signals from the cute girls that I actually liked. Some women probably rate me down because of my size (5'6" 130lbs) and think they'd stand a chance, but hell, we do the same thing, it doesn't mean you should take it as an example of what you're capable of pulling or that it hurts your image, not at all.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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