Social Phobias

[AlphaChump]

I know that If I were to start a bootcamp today, it would come to a screeching halt because I'd have problems in week 1 and 2.

I've read the DJB and the week 1 and 2 material, but I still feel weird. I know its just something that I need to get over by myself, but I was wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom that will help me with this.

Like, as far as eye contact goes, I feel goofy smiling (like a retard) and I feel confrontational not smiling.

And starting conversations isn't hard, but making them seem not stupid is the hard part. Like that scene in Dumb and Dumber (Hey guys..... Big Gulps, huh? ........ Welp, see ya later!)

Advice?

 

[AlphaChump]

Don't all respond at once! My computer is low on RAM, it might freeze up loading this page.

Anyways, I was looking through NHY's Bootcamp, and JC9 posted an observation on eye contact that made a lot of sense, so I'm trying to adopt it as a truth. Here is the observation.

Guys with their head down avoiding any sort of eye contact look meek. People with their head up, but staring straight ahead avoiding EC with anyone strike me as 'off' and not natural. People who make EC and quickly look away seem to be a little insecure. People who have made EC even if they haven't smiled or said hello back seem alot more relaxed and natural.

So there you have it. Even though I felt confrontational making eye contact, I shouldn't worry. Because of all the options there are, looking confrontational is the best of them. Thanks a lot JC9

I posted a response to my own thread in case there were some people who read the post and were interested themselves in having an answer.

Now, if there is anyone who can help with stupid convos, it would be much appreciated.

 

[mattathensga]

OMG... I get mine THROUGH stupid conversation.... It has to be humorous, most chicks dig a guy that can make em laugh...

even with eye contact... if there's a pause in convo with a chick I'm into, if we make eye contact, I may cross my eyes, and stick out my tongue. its worked for me, on most occassions... those that it didn't the chick was too uptight anyways so it was better to find out then, then when it was too late.

I guess my point is, dude, you have to figure out what it is that comprises you, and thru that, you can become the Alph-alfa male everyone here talks about... once you figure your Self out, your 'Game' won't seem fake, or rehearsed... it's easier to play your own game then try to learn the rules to someone elses, and again, once you figure your Self out, then you'll start to develop the confidence you need to not FEEL out of place... and thats what I think is tripping you up, its YOUR feelings, not your actions that is sabatoging your game, and what skill you may have... HeII I didn't develop game until I simply and completely GAVE up on trying to get women.... the harder I tried, the more I failed. the LEss I tried, the more I scored... and it all related to the fact that when I didn't care, I was more relaxed, I wasn;t nervous, I wasn't stopping all the time to analyze myself.

 

[mattathensga]

EC is best as natural... look at em like you would your sister.... NO not the "Joe Dirt" type of sister.... jesus, never mind.

when you stare, or look at ladies like a sex object they recognize it... women aren't as stupid as we'd like to believe... when it comes to sex, they have us chasing them, remember....

 

[Docs]

Just look everyone in the eyes. Only a few seconds, then look away like it was normal and move on.

Once you get better, make them look away first (did this today with random girl at drug store , not bad...I'd give her a 7 looks..8 body) - My version of fuck attractive.