"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Social life = work? Uh oh...

Mr. Goods

Don Juan
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This thread is more two-fold, but both involve my new job and how to handle two different situations that fit in with the DJ mindset.

1 - I know what jealousy is, why it exists, how it usually develops, etc. Recently, I began working at a major company/corporation and...it seems I am facing the wrath of a different type of envy or jealousy from peers I know from back home. Yes - this "envy" doesn't appear to be because of the job I got or what I am doing there. It's more, "Why Mr. Goods? He's not special. Mr. Goods, specifically, does not deserve this." By the looks of it, some random guy back home getting the same job would go by without a murmur. Sure, I don't really care what acquaintances think, but even my friends are on the hate train:

-One friend thinks my job is very straightforward and I should get some girls to hang out with me while I am "at work" (or pregame before I go in). His big quote was that I didn't really do anything unique to get the job. I decided against telling other people nearby that this same friend has failed out of college twice and has been fired from low-level jobs three times because he did dumb things...to show he has no credibility here.
-Another one of my friends says, "[My] job isn't that tough" and that he could have sent in his resume too, I just got lucky they pulled mine out. And to make sure it's not just general envy, he went on to suggest that I "don't do anything special, my degree - eh." He's aspiring to be a nurse or a doctor, but keeps going one step forward, two steps back. He has no internship/job experience going towards his career, obviously.
-One of my past co-workers contacted me on LinkedIn basically asking, "How did "I" get this job? He suggested that "perhaps" I knew someone that got me in the door.

For the record, I've worked towards this job since I was little, and it's a difficult job to do. ;) I know that I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks, but when it's people I know very well...it's different. Obviously jealousy exists, but it's coming off more that it's because "I" got the job. If it were anyone else, no one would care.

2 - This is the part you will enjoy discussing more. Through first-hand experience and things I have also read here, girls at work = no. Especially when it's a job going towards my career. One aspect of this not addressed however; What happens if your new job encompasses your life to the point that everyone you know is from work? Longer hours, not the traditional workday times, a lot of people are around my age, and the place has a lot of facilities (such as a gym) pretty much makes my workplace my life. I've noticed that some of the slightly older people working here do develop friendships since they are all around so much. So, for this forum, how do I go about the whole girl thing? It's at work, yes...but what happens when work becomes your social life?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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1. shake off the haters. If you are great at your job you probably make it look easy. And since it looks easy they think it is easy, and they hate.

2. If this is your career. Make an effort to meet girls outside of work. Use work girls as pivots if you can swing it. If your company culture doesn't frown on dating...for God's sake keep it on the low and always be professional at work. But honestly...make an effort to try to meet women away from work, that's your best option.
 

Mr. Goods

Don Juan
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Warrior74 said:
1. shake off the haters. If you are great at your job you probably make it look easy. And since it looks easy they think it is easy, and they hate.

2. If this is your career. Make an effort to meet girls outside of work. Use work girls as pivots if you can swing it. If your company culture doesn't frown on dating...for God's sake keep it on the low and always be professional at work. But honestly...make an effort to try to meet women away from work, that's your best option.
Thanks Warrior. I can understand acquaintances or people I don't know very well having their two cents of criticism to say - it's normal. But friends and former co-workers (same level as me)? It's different for sure. While my friends don't actually see me at work, I don't show off stress or have it on my mind when we go out, so maybe that plays into it.

You're probably right about the girls part here. The tricky thing is, everyone I meet these days is from work while at work. If I want to go out one night...obviously going to be with people from work. I am proactively working on getting to know more of my peers...I am one of the two "new people" there (a couple new people come in every few weeks, so that helps too), so it will only be a matter of time until I see some hanging/going out...I hope.
 
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