Social event with new colleagues

[RestUnknown]

I've got a new position inside my company and was asked out on a social event of one of my new colleagues. Some others were going to be there as well.

I'm an introvert and have very very low self-esteem. I'm not shy, I don't mind going up to people to ask them something, but I can't talk with them for over a minute.

Although I was looking for decent excuses of why not to go, I decided just to go as I need to get over this fear. All in all it was ok, I didn't stay that long but there were moments where I hated myself of not talking to them. And when I talked it was just about some stupid subject (in my opinion), just for the sake of saying something.

I feel that in the end it did more bad than good stuff. That they think even worse of me than before.

Look, it's easy to say 'don't care about what others think'. For people who are like this, it's easy. But for me it's one of the hardest things in life. It's more easy with people who you'll never see again, but these are my colleagues, I have to work with them and if they don't like me, it's not fun working.

 

[MrOctober]

What stops you from talking?

Don't you wanna know who's cool or not?

I always do a cool check. For instance If we were at the Coffee I'd say hey you ever see hateful eight when they drank the poison coffee? Crazy scene right? Or you hear the new etc...

See who you want to be cool with not who wants to be cool with you. By talking.

 

[Julian]

how the fuk do any of you even tie your own shoes in the morning lol


bro you are a GROWN MAN. theres guys younger then you who are dead who have died in combat, men who have built companies, fought governments and lived crazy gang lives an gotten killed etc. And you are scared of normal conversation? It actually pisses me off how emasculated our society has become. and it touches home because i used to be like you.

if you wana help yourself then read up on active listening and conversation. seems like you are not doing any leg work to benefit your situation besides crying about on this forum.

 

[RestUnknown]

how the fuk do any of you even tie your own shoes in the morning lol


bro you are a GROWN MAN. theres guys younger then you who are dead who have died in combat, men who have built companies, fought governments and lived crazy gang lives an gotten killed etc. And you are scared of normal conversation? It actually pisses me off how emasculated our society has become. and it touches home because i used to be like you.

if you wana help yourself then read up on active listening and conversation. seems like you are not doing any leg work to benefit your situation besides crying about on this forum.

Yeah well you try growing up without a father and have certain events in your life transform you in the person I am right now.

You have no idea how I feel when I'm out with people I barely know, what to say to them and constantly going through my mind of what they would be thinking about me. It's a battle that drains me physically and mentally.

 

[Julian]

i might not know that feel but bro you arent the only one,plenty of my best friends have grown up with no fathers. infact the most alpha bro i know grew up in a single mom house with 2 sisters.for most that would be a formula for beta.

the point is bro,i know how you feel. but in this world its mind over matter. Who gives a fuk about how you FEEL...in this world FEEL doesnt mean anything to anyone because we all know life isnt fair, and fuk yo feelings is what it comes down to.

nobody cares. you need to realize NO ONE CARES. Ask yourself when you are with people you dont know why you are freaking out, this is an utter 1st world problem, and easily solvable because its all based on your own MENTAL. Trust me bro its all on you and you CAN overcome it, right now im just seeing alot of blame gaming, finger pointing and lack of personal responsibility and accountability.

Grow some damn balls boy, you can handle this. You got this man you need to believe you can do it and stop being a puzzy.

 

[skinnyguy]

I've been in your position before. I've learned not to judge people. You should talk to anyone even the fat ugly men. Build this up and don't care so much about outcome. You should try to take small steps to build confidence. Sooner or later you'll realize that conversation is simple.