Social Conformity vs Individuality

[gav]

I'm really struggling with this issue just now.

For over a year, i've been trying to do my own thing, do whatever i feel like doing and trying not to care what other people think about me.

In trying not to give a sh!t about what others think, i have gone to extreme lengths and have ended up doing a sh!tload of immature stuff and stuff that doesn't even make sense to me: just doing stuff for no reason at all.

Here's where the idea of individuality has landed on its head for me:

Others now respect me and my opinions SOO much less (and there is no doubt I have become an individual), instead of them respecting my own ways more.

At first i stood back from their opinions and thought "no, i don't care about what they think" (i actually didn't give a sh!t and continued with whatever i was doing).

Now, because of all the crazy sh!t i've done and said, i have come to the point where others decide that i'm stupid, weird and talk pish. I DO know better; i know who i am (fair enough, they do not). But when it comes to the point that they show so much disrespect as not to listen to what i'm saying (when i have got important stuff to talk about) i feel that something is seriously wrong and now i DO care about what they think.

(they, them and others refer to my peers btw)

Sorry if it's a bit muddled and confused, but what do u guys think? Is it the intense immaturity? Should i care to a little extent what others think to prevent me doing crazysh!t?

There must be something i'm missing here in trying to become an individual.

help,

gav

 

[JSH]

Be an individual, but to do so, you do not need to alienate everyone

 

[UniqueSoul]

Some buzz...

Becoming an individual and becoming a "rebel" are two different phases in our existance. Denying the rules of society and applying your own is a pretty tricky thing cos you start living in your OWN world while actually messing in the real one at the same time.
It now seems that you're more likely of being a "REBEL", because of your wish to to show 'em some heat, AND at the moment you have doubts about your role in the lives of the other members of society. Those recent years or some other period of time when you've been existing as a faction along the rest of the society could probably be described as trying to prove sth TO YOURSELF.

Most probably, that you CAN be an individual, maybe not unique, but SOMEBODY who has his own guts and brains and who needs no support, no clear and leading role in the society.
A young and angry mind. Motivation that cannot be defined even by you.
This is a a natural phase in evolution of our thinking. A lesson, probably, but not one which proved us wrong, but one which pointed out things we should know, things we must bear in mind when doing ANYTHING while being a part of society.
The masses have always been guided by rules. An individual has been not. Sheer quantity and power vs precise and creative MIND. They got the ever-lasting control over us, but they cannot control our mind.
As long as depend on the society, your mind has absolutely NO meaning for them. They don't even have such a word in use. Not because they fear it, but because it practically useless.

While being an INDIVIDUAL, you do not want to change ANYTHING in ANY part of the lives of others. You do not need it. Because you respect the choise of unbounded thinking and an existance with almost no influence from ANYONE else than yourself. You do not have to prove ANYTHING for the rest of people around you, because you know that it's not gonna be influencing YOU in the first place, and to avoid meaningless confrontation with THE MASSES, which in that case will influence you indeed; just slightly the opposite way you've wanted.

Every one of us has his own MIND, his own motivation, his own way of thinking. Every one of us judge things differently and we always will. By trying to SHOW things that are obvious to the rest of society without any clear reason, you just start ****ing with THE MASS, not every individual in person. They're not gonna ignore you as a disturbing element while in public and admire you when they're alone or whatever.
They don't care about you if you do not cooperate. So all you gotta do is become a grunt, a mere piece of **** again?

**** no. Cooperation means leadership. If you are confident of knowing what exactly make you want to become an independant part of the society, USE it, DON'T hide it inside, "cos you know everything about the real deal and I hope they're gonna understand it one day; then they gonna come back to me, appreciating me, respecting me. I'm gonna be the master!".

Masses follow rules. They live by them. No rules- no society.
The most hard working individuals create rules. Only they ARE bold enough to reach for power and respect AND ACHIEVE IT.

Poets, political leaders, sportsmen, actors and ****. So many to choose from. They all do everything for themselves. They want to prove that they CAN ACHIEVE. What's more important, they are admired, they are followed, they are RESPECTED at the SAME TIME. They know how to combine that. Explore this aspect and you will be rewarded.

You gotta learn of the true values you want to follow in your life. First, to have a goal. Have sth to achieve. Slowly gain respect at different level and different aspects from the others (you need that, after all, now doncha?) by doing that. To learn how one can exist IN THE SOCIETY and KEEP HIS MIND ALIVE at the same time.

Use your individuality in a way that could MAKE THEM RESPECT YOU, at least. Understanding, as we all know, is never gonna be evolved in the mentality of the masses. So I doubt that any clear advice will be helpful, cos the only way is not to stop it, but GO through it and see the results, no matter what kinda, for yourself.
Individual must re-think, re-arrange and re-try only after experiencing everything on his own. To develop new features, while keeping the same mind existing inside him.

If your not planning to start building the Fourth Reich and leading your nation to a new dawn, where only the real values exist (values of your own, to say the truth), stop pushing the society to "understand" you. Better be as they like you to be (the way you was before) and find a way to express yourself at the same time.

The ONE REAL AND TRUE YOU has lots of different angles to be viewed from. Get to know better when to turn them the right one and be yourself at the same time.

 

[gav]

thanks a lot unique soul, u've made things a lot clearer now.

can't believe i was creating my own wee world.