Social Anxiety

[vlf445]

I just don't understand myself. Sometimes I can go out, talk with people n be natural, and generally have a great time. Other times, I freeze up, feel awkward, and feel that people can see right through anything I try to say and think I'm a freak.

I needed to post something about this because today was the first day of classes, and I've never felt social anxiety like this before. I couldn't even sit comfortably, feeling that people though I was sitting strangely, resting my arms in weird positions n other crazy !@#% like that. I raised my hand to speak up about a question, and I could hardly focus on what I wanted to say, and when I finished talking, my heart was pounding out of my chest and I was starting to sweat!! I feel like I'm actually losing my mind and I'm gonna be weird and outcast for the rest of my life. WTF is wrong with me??? I never felt this in high school or any other time in my life.

What confuses me is that sometimes I'm 100% fine and feel normal around people, but can hit a wall where all of a sudden don't want to talk to anybody anymore. This happened at a bbq at my friends house the other night....I was chatting people up, including people I hadn't met, then all of a sudden I just couldn't do it anymore.

Is that a symptom of bipolar disorder or something?? I think I need to see a shrink because this is getting really out of hand, and I'm in college and should be having out having a great time and meeting people.

 

[Captain]

Stop self diagnosing, you're just being shy and you're in a situation you're uncomfortable in. You know how to fix this? Repeated exposure. Keep pushing your comfort zones.

 

[zekko]

It sounds like you are self conscious. Like Captain says, keep pushing your comfort zones and you should get desensitized to it with practice.

I don't have anxiety, but I definitely get into low energy moods where I don't feel like talking to people. Usually when I'm tired or whatever. That's probably my biggest challenge socially. It's hard to be witty when you're not feeling it.

 

[Groovy]

Beliave me, I know how it feels like. There isn't anything wrong or stupid with you, altough it can be devastating for your health and self esteem, I feel like it's kind of normal... I don't like calling it normal, because it's no joke, and it can be pretty bad, but it can happen to everyone. If you say to ANYBODY "Hey I have social anxiety, I get nervous around people", I think that lots and lots of people, almost everyone, would be able to relate and understand you. I think that anyone who has an ounce of maturity and understanding for others would be able to relate with you, if I were there in the classroom with you I'd deffinitly not think you were wierd or stupid, I would understand it 100% and be totally cool with it, I wouldn't think you're wierd or ANYTHING like that. Maybe lots of people wont understand it and think "Wow he is crazy!" but I'm not sure about these people, I don't think they understand much about people if they think that way... I think that most of the people of this forum can relate to you, I think it happened\is happening to most of us, but I'm just guessing, I'm not sure about that lol.

Anyway, my advice is to remember that there isn't anything wrong with you at all. You're not crazy or wierd... If it's happening to you, how wierd can it be? You are in your situation, you're seeing it happen for yourself, isn't it totally understandable (for yourself) that you're feeling this way? It just happens right?

I think that the most important is to find out a way to realize that you're not stupid or wierd, and, then, you can't run away from your emotions... If they're normal why be so scared of them? Isn't it better to be okay with them, and accept them, and let them run through your body? There isn't a reason to be afraid of them, if you want to escape them, or try to repress them, at least to me that doesn't work. Sometimes you can't shut them off, but if you accept them and let them be at peace, let them free and loose in your body, my experience is that it makes them much better, that way you can be comfortable with yourself. I just let them be, don't fear them, don't think like "OMG i'm gonna be nervous now" and it's much better this way at least for me. I don't know a way to shut them down for good, I don't think it works that way, you just can't tell your emotions "Stop, go away", rather it seems that you have to find a way to accept them and they'll gradually be less and less intense and you'll be able to control them better, until you're okay with them. You also have to have confidence in yourself to know that you're not wierd or something like that. Also, I find that talking about it with other people makes it much better too, even if you don't kow them that well. Basiclly just don't be ashemed of admitting it or feeling what you're feeling.

Also, since they're too intense for now, you may want to find a way to help you relax like listening to music, or doing exercise like Tai Chi, I do it everyday and it works so well for me, I recommend it for anyone. I also like to play chess since I really like it, it helps me focus and concentrate, and just enjoy and relax too, because playing a game feels great to me. My point is that you may want to find a hobby, I think it would be great for you, and good luck, I hope you find a way to deal with this. And yeah, I totally know how you feel, it can really suck! But it is possible to overcome social anxiety by yourself without a shrink, but sure going to one is a huuge help, I would really think about going to one if I were in your situation, especially if it isn't improving or it's getting even worse...