social anxiety disorder / depression

[damiancopado]

heres my delemma I have have gone through cbt thereapy for my anxiety disorder but not enough because I remember being young and not having the ability to talk in school when a child and only in the house but Im medication for depression I am good looking meaning between 6 and 8 in some peoples opinions.I blew out a situation out of proportion because I got freaked out and went once to a private psychiatric hospital because maybe low or if any on sexual behaviors. so i simply want some advice and no im not going to kill my self. too young to die. and im not being sarcastic or funny. I appreciate it.

 

[damiancopado]

oops my point that im trying to get across is I want to get laid "but" im having trouble functioning in society. live with my grandfather and had done some dumb studying of deep inner game and advanced dating techniques dvds by some business man david deangelo. I guess im that desperate not that I intetionally wanted to be but it basically backfired. basically not being myself and regretfully changed my personality because I was always shy and cautious. withdrawn. but I had gotten to a point of severe frustration and tried to get some self esteem or rather a better self image instead of a weak one. ok. thankyou

 

[6-heads lewis]

take the right drugs. people will tell you to be a man or get past your childhood trauma or bla blah blah or psychobabble nonsense.

you could do that, or you could save yourself years of time and frustration by just finding the right pill. i waited until i was 22 and that was a huge mistake. i take for anxiety and ocd

the younger the better. you'll probably have go to through a few pills/dose changes until you find the right combination, its unpredictable and affects everyone differently. within a month or two you should notice improvements

remember that the emotion typically comes first, then your mind finds a reason to validate it. so instead of fight it, just take a pill that eliminates the emotion, and watch the thoughts gradually die down.

good luck.

 

[6-heads lewis]

dude fuk david denagelo seriously, they are conmen for the most part.

really, just get rid of the anxiety and youll see a big difference.

i used to think i was love-shy, and would be incredibly frustrated and hopeless at my inability to talk to women.

as soon as the anxiety was gone, i completely stopped caring. it often turns out that your emtoions are your thoughts are two different problems, im not love-shy at all, i just have panic attacks and OCD, and i link the obsessive thoughts with the emotions and assume they are related. now i realize its wrong.

seriously dude theres nothing to gain by self improvement books or willpower or hypnosis or any other bullsh!t. find the right pill, pay 2-3$/day and clear your head up. right now you simply cant make rational decisions, your mind and your emotions wont let you, its not your fault. i know how it is bro.

 

[damiancopado]

no subject

well, thanks for the input .. what pills do you take? love shy is a type of fear right?

 

[ItsOnNow]

This basically is what I have always been going through,and still seemingly have not been able to get over. Whether its fear,lazyness,or not being able to feel good. I also often feel like I am not attractive enough,this has been a concern for me. I'm fat,but not obese,my face is decent,but if i had a more toned body,maybe I would feel better. Its like I have been waiting for that change to happen. Also,I haven't taken anti depressants,but i have taken ritalin,and that did help somewhat. My mind was focused on other things rather than the constant string of negative stuff.

 

[6-heads lewis]

i take sertraline but everybody is affected differently. talk to a doctor. the internet is full of armchair experts and attention-seekers, don't bother looking into their advice. go to several doctors if you have to, 5 doctors are better than a million internet ppl.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shyness

if you physically can't talk, look into selective mutism.

my opinions in life are not popular, but they work for me. solve your problems from the root. the pills ive taken have drastically reduced my anxiety, obsessiveness, sensitivity and libido. i was never able to get a girlfriend, and the truth is i still cant. im as ugly and eccentric as i was then, the only difference is now i dont care. going from depressed and anxious to empty and apathetic is an improvement. killing yourself out of boredom is less tragic than killing yourself out of despair.

dont be a slave to the anxiety and desire and try to please it with women and acceptance, rather try to eliminate the desire from the root. you are much better off having nothing and wanting nothing than wanting everything and having nothing. the universe is indifferent to your plight, it will not reward your effort or feel sorry for you.

i understand your situation damiancopado, suicide is actually a pretty good idea, but do it on your terms and on your schedule. don't let your despair control you. you may not ever be positive or happy, but going from negative and despressed to neutral is a huge improvement.


whatever you choose to do, make sure you do it with a clear and unbiased mind. right now you cant do that. take the pills you need to get rid of your emotional and mental biases, and then search for what you really want.

 

[6-heads lewis]

btw you wont find much help here. people here are unjustifiably optimistic and macho, look through past threads about bleak philosophy or depression, the advice and support is typically useless or insulting. most of the people here are in the same boat as you guys are, but they watched some stupid hypnosis video or read some con-man's book and suddenly feel empowered and invincible. their advice and comments are typically a very poor reflection of their true selves.

browse a frew psychological forums and find one where the attitudes match yours, and stick to it. aspergers, schizoid, avoidant, OCD, depression, whatever. as a warning, depression forums and filled with really pathetic people seeking attention. look elsewhere.

 

[Quiksilver]

That's because optimism is the only mindset that will yield long and short term benefits.

Optimistic:

I'm going to go to college and graduate, then I'm going to buy the car of my dreams!

Depressed/Pessimistic/Bleak:

I'm going to go to col... Oh whats the use? we're all going to die anyways. Let's just finish this round of Halo and then I'll think about it later...

 

[ItsOnNow]

I am somewhat of those two mentalities. I want to go to college,sort my life out,succeed,but yet,I can't bring myself to get what I really want out of life. Hell,Im still upset high school in some ways.

 

[6-heads lewis]

That's because optimism is the only mindset that will yield long and short term benefits.

Optimistic:

I'm going to go to college and graduate, then I'm going to buy the car of my dreams!

Depressed/Pessimistic/Bleak:

I'm going to go to col... Oh whats the use? we're all going to die anyways. Let's just finish this round of Halo and then I'll think about it later...

simpleton answer. graduating college and having a great car is worthless to the man who doesnt want to go to college and doesnt want a car.

im tired of talking to sosuave about advanced topics, some of you guys are just really dumb.

and another fairly obvious point: it is not pessimistic or bleak or depressive to say we're all going to die. its just true. truth is not good or bad. it just is, regardless of you're opinion.

 

[wolf116]

6-heads, most people are dumb and many are dumb by choice. It's a happier place to be. In fact it may just be smarter to be dumb.

 

[6-heads lewis]

6-heads, most people are dumb and many are dumb by choice. It's a happier place to be. In fact it may just be smarter to be dumb.

you're absolutely right. id prefer to have been born a beautiful, rich, airhead female socialite, or even just a simple country boy.

im not sure about choosing to be dumb though, i think you can choose to educate yourself to be smart, im not sure how you would consciously regress. personally i was born with this perspective. ive though about regression in the past, giving yourself brain damage or taking a pill to shut down certain functions of the brain, but i doubt there's a practical means. and im not sure how id explain my intentions to the doctors lol.

but you're right, it's ironic that some people are smart enough to realize they'd be happier stupid.

 

[wolf116]

you're absolutely right. id prefer to have been born a beautiful, rich, airhead female socialite, or even just a simple country boy.

im not sure about choosing to be dumb though, i think you can choose to educate yourself to be smart, im not sure how you would consciously regress. personally i was born with this perspective. ive though about regression in the past, giving yourself brain damage or taking a pill to shut down certain functions of the brain, but i doubt there's a practical means. and im not sure how id explain my intentions to the doctors lol.

but you're right, it's ironic that some people are smart enough to realize they'd be happier stupid.

When I said some people are dumb by choice(I guessed I used the wrong word), they have not regressed in intelligence, they know the abyss of reality but chose not to look in too deeply. I have come across many people who are ignorant by choice to save their peace of mind.

The harsh truths of reality don't bother me, I enjoy discovering the true nature of the world. As long as I mix it up with some animality.

 

[damiancopado]

no subject

well, good advice, I probably would like to kill myself but I dont have the balls to do it. but my point is that Ive been kicked of reality with the don juan phiolosophical approach to attraction "first in the mind and then in the world to be successful" and its gotten me into ocd mode meaning I cant stop obsessinal worry and the intense anxiety as if im going to go mad of not getting laid. anyways , I dont want to be a smart ass but my situation is just feels scary especially my symptoms of ocd which has a unhealthy conent of hurting someone in reference to sex. again really appreciate the advice. thanks

 

[6-heads lewis]

is just feels scary especially my symptoms of ocd which has a unhealthy conent of hurting someone in reference to sex. again really appreciate the advice. thanks

don't worry about it. some people have intrusive thoughts about killing their family, others have intrusive and unpleasant thoughts about being gay or a pedophile.

it doesnt mean you are abusive or sexually depraved, it's ocd. if you don't get physically aroused at the thought of sexually torturing a woman, and you find the thoguhts uncomfrtoable and disturbing, it's ocd.

edit - most people on open forums like this will think you're a rapist or you should be jailed. not because these people are stupid or mean, but because they are unfamiliar with it. if you'lre looking for advice you'd be better off at an ocd forum or social phobia forum.

 

[Quiksilver]

and another fairly obvious point: it is not pessimistic or bleak or depressive to say we're all going to die. its just true. truth is not good or bad. it just is, regardless of you're opinion.

Yet to base your life choices around the fact that we're all going to die one day is... what? Smart?

Sometimes you just have to ignore what you don't like in life, regardless of right/wrong, to get what you want.

I can relate to what wolf116 is saying, that some people are dumb by choice. I'll be honest and even include myself in that group to a certain extent. Sure it's only smart to acknowledge the truth of some things in life, but if thinking about them and dwelling on some of the unfortunate things in life is preventing you from getting what you want and where you want to go, then you come to a crossroads.

I'll pose this question for you to answer: Would you rather know all you can about the world and life knowing that a substantial portion of it will be bleak and will likely lead to depression, or do you blind yourself to some of the bleakness in order to get what you want out of life?

Knowledge vs. Happiness my friend. It comes down to what kind of person you are and what you value more.

--

truth is not good or bad.

Of course, abstract truth has no bias. When you inject humanity and your mind/personal opinions into that equation, then sure, I'll argue that truth CAN be good or bad.

At the risk of being redundant, 9/11 happened. It's an abstract truth. When seen through the human(american, for the sake of discussion) lens, then it was a BAD truth. Do you see what I'm saying?