I have social anxiety pretty bad. I get real nervous talking to anybody whether it's a guy or girl or elderly person. I even get nervous when I go in a store and one of the workers asks if I need any help even though they are just doing their job. So I'm ready to get out there and approach girls I see out during the day. I've heard being indirect can be good especially if it's like a cashier or something. The thing is I'm gonna be nervous anyway. So I would rather just be direct. Is this ok or the best way to go about it?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Social anxiety and day game
- Thread starter adamw5963
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I personally think that it's more important in that situation to learn to just be relaxed with being friendly with strangers / people before pushing your limits too much (that can get you down & make you give up). You also need to learn to not give a damn what people think of you.
Yeah. Being social is a skill too. What you need to do is work on yourself first until you will reach a moment when you will say "I have NOT social anxiety". Force yourself with little baby steps and everyday try to do something social you are scared of. Just keep a relaxed body language while you do this and don't come off as a shoe-cleaning beta. You will learn quickly and you will be proud of yourself and eventually you'll be able to do a public speaking and be 100% comfortable with it. Start practicing a competitive sport too and try to become the best at it, if you aren't already, that will increase your confidence and you'll become more relaxed around people. Just don't sit there and whine on the fact that "you have social anxiety" there are millions of people in the world that say that and cry that the world is bad and bull****. Take action and try to become the best you can
The first thing that pops up in my head is that you are looking for confidence. Well confidence come from KNOWING things and being comfortable in certain situations. I agree with 6nemesis9 in that you have to work in baby steps.
So first congratulate yourself getting out there. That's the first step! Second, start with going out to a place where you feel comfortable. It doesn't matter where it is, library, supermarket, park. Just go there and observer pple and try to picture in your head what you would say to each one of them. Do this for about a week straight without fail. Next, talk to people that are paid to talk to you, like the sales girls. I know you said you get nervous but I'm to tell you that IT'S OK!!!!!!! It's ok to because it' their job to talk to you, so you're not gonna be rejected. So your goal is just to conversate, that's all. Nothing more. No number, no kino, just talk. Do this for about a month and you should be used to talking to people and making strides against your approach anxiety.
It's not something that disappears over night. But you can lessen it little by little everyday. Good luck!
So first congratulate yourself getting out there. That's the first step! Second, start with going out to a place where you feel comfortable. It doesn't matter where it is, library, supermarket, park. Just go there and observer pple and try to picture in your head what you would say to each one of them. Do this for about a week straight without fail. Next, talk to people that are paid to talk to you, like the sales girls. I know you said you get nervous but I'm to tell you that IT'S OK!!!!!!! It's ok to because it' their job to talk to you, so you're not gonna be rejected. So your goal is just to conversate, that's all. Nothing more. No number, no kino, just talk. Do this for about a month and you should be used to talking to people and making strides against your approach anxiety.
It's not something that disappears over night. But you can lessen it little by little everyday. Good luck!
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
thechallenger
Don Juan
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you may have something hiding in the closet. the reason you have social anxiety is???? some form of self doubt or the like? I suffered from it too, than i realized that its all an illusion and it goes away. only after you truly know yourself
Mr.SomeoneElse
Don Juan
Man, I think everyone has some inhibitions to some extent.
I have two friends who have social anxiety disorder.
One of them tried taking the med route, taking vyvanse and other prescription drugs to help. All though they did make him less nervous/shy they took away his personality and made him feel numb, the withdrawels when he wanted to get off them made him *****y and i wouldnt recommend it.
The best way to deal with the issue is to do what makes you feel uncomfortable man. As long as you are the one who wants to change then it will happen.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone - Neale Donald Walsch
I have two friends who have social anxiety disorder.
One of them tried taking the med route, taking vyvanse and other prescription drugs to help. All though they did make him less nervous/shy they took away his personality and made him feel numb, the withdrawels when he wanted to get off them made him *****y and i wouldnt recommend it.
The best way to deal with the issue is to do what makes you feel uncomfortable man. As long as you are the one who wants to change then it will happen.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone - Neale Donald Walsch