Sober game.

[milton]

Hey guys,

Its been three years, every weekend there has been a party in college, beer, weed, cigs, and other yummy indulgences. Yesterday I felt like quitting cold turkey and I am, not for any particular reason (besides more $, more health, cleaner more legit game,etc)

After a weekend of grabbing a girls butt and getting in trouble among other things, ive decided to keep a little sarging journal.... a sober one... yes I will be at bars and parties, drunk I will not be. I hope you guys will enjoy this and give me any feedback you see fit. So here it goes:

Day 1

My friend is running for a position in the school senate and asked me to help him campaign; I have been at the center of our campus passing out flyers and doing numerous approaches. This I found is a great way of warming up the sarging juices, the crutch (passing them a flyer for a political bull**** reason) is a great way to get creative in how you approach people. Today for example this just came to me as I walked up to a group of girls, I was holding a sign and asked them if they wanted some shade, then asked for a moment of their time as collateral. Ok stupid... yes... but spur of the moment, and it worked well. I spent the better part of the day approaching different people and kinda warming up.

A girl I had taken out on a date a while back comes up from behind and hugs me, PRESELECTION IS THE BEST SOCIAL TOOL, we talked in a group and shot the **** in the middle of campus, it was good stuff. My friend and I started bagging on each other just for fun, but I guess it escalated to where he told a group of people I hooked up with a 17 year old. Not sure how to handle this one, I just stayed calm and acted like it really didnt matter, part of me wanted to out alpha him with the stereotypical fratboy response, then another part of me really didnt care and was lazy. I took the latter approach.

The suns out and its a great day, amazing how good it feel to be out and socializing... too bad I needed this crutch to find this out.

I am talking to a girl and playing rock paper scissors and having a great time, i see the cute girl (has a boyfried) and purposely act like I was having a blast with the initial girl after loosing to her. We start talking and I notice, she had a fat zit on her face and this I saw was the jackpot. Its like the whole, when your nervous imagine the other person naked... well this was better, she had a fat zit haha. I was comfortable talking to her, made her laugh, which btw seems to be a great way of bonding. We talked about how fake people made you be fake sometimes when they act like they are so glad to meet you. Then i asked her to help pass out flyers and she said she couldnt take the rejection, I showed value like crazy by approaching numerous girls that walked by, most of them I made laugh. She seemed impressed. PRESELECTION IS THE BEST SOCIAL TOOL. I knew I had built some attraction with this girl, which was good enough for me. I see another girl in the corner of my eye looking at me, the game continues, I see myself like a lightning bolt... set to set. It was a great day. Nothing too crazy to report but its a start.

I was thinking about why preselection is so valuable.
The girl questions why they aren't being entertained by you, they are curious what this girl sees in you, its shows you are competent and capable, it creates mystery, maybe even a little jealously which can transmute into attraction. Anything else?

Sober game is fun.

Lessons of the day:
-Use girls to hop to the next hotter one, start ugly then move up. I seemed to have done this unconsciously.
-Find an excuse to be out during the day and socialize, it feels amazing
-Do whatever it takes to feel good (beside drugs), because it builds on it self (just like hopping to the next hotter girl, it builds on itself)
-Dont out alpha the alphas, being unaffected is even more alpha
-Stop using these damn PUA terms cause im feeling like an idiot. haha

Praise me. Flame me. Both are encouraged and welcome.

 

[Alphamale1821]

Great job dude, good to see another player rise above and be a man. Just another day in the life of a MAN.

 

[DJVladdy]

Yea alphamale, do you also need some pom-poms to cheer for the guy?

1. Grabbing a random girl's a$$, yea I been there too (frosh yr that is), except I didnt get in trouble because I knew no one wud say anything I was with several of my boys...Bro, THREE years?? youve been partying for 3 years straight, and you still do this childish sh!t. cmon man, when you walk into a party or w/e - you are the Boss, the Don, the Man... not some 45 y.o. hairy, fat pervert.

Second, if I were you, I'd re-assess my relationship with my friends (you understand?)

3. Respect on your goals to begin a healthy lifestyle... i feel you on this one. I turned 21 a week or 2 ago, and for about 8 days straight I was drinking and smoking cigs CONSTANTLY... next thing I know - my blood pressure is thru the roof (140+). So I'm quitting drinking and smoking, and advise to the rest of the guys to do the same.

4. Props on doin approaches. You got some balls to do that. but...

Based on what you wrote it seems (ask a friend or two whether I'm correct): you are the type of person who feels like he has to impress others; as in - make a plan and a strategy: "hmmm, how will I make people like me...cuz if they won't, it's gonna be bad". At least subconsciously. I used to be like that honestly... and still am to a small degree, so its not noticeable...if im wrong - let me know.

Aren't you in a frat, cuz if so, lucky you. I had chances to join frats, but... im not in one.


And one last thing that I noticed ALOT on this site, and on ur post in particular: why is there such a serious concern over AMOG'ing, being AMOG'ed, and constantly thinking "how do I out-alpha some guy, so he doesn't out-alpha ME?"...

Me personally - I never paid any attention to that. Seriously, the guys that you call alpha males - do they not have respect for you guys? Do they look down on you or something, and try to publicly disgrace you? Tell me, im curious. From my own experience, guys on the same... "social plain", if you will, usually have mutual respect for one another. So does it mean you are really below them? Notice the guys you consider leaders, true alpha males: do they need to clown any1, put people down, take part in stupid insults and arguments... to impress girls, or whoever it is?

 

[milton]

1. Ok on grabbing the girls ass, it didnt actually grabbed it, i just mock/fake grabbed it for a cheap laugh, yes it was dumb and immature but honestly no one got hurt and I got a great laugh out of it. I hate to use this as an excuse but alcohol definitely did not help and this is one of the reasons why I am quitting, to stop doing stupid **** like that haha.

2. I talked with my friend afterwards and he said that he did that because he knew that I didnt like that girl very much ( I told him earlier that I wasnt going on line because I was trying to avoid her ) I was kinda okay with that since the people that were around were all close friends that I didnt really mind.

Something similar happened today, we had bet pushups on a friendly card game and the deal was that you could tell the other person to do pushups whenever. I was walking down campus and he told this girl to tell me to do pushups, I didnt know her and another girl was watching along with some other friends. I wanted to sleaze my way out of it but I am a man of my word so I did it on a ledge because I didnt want to do it at his feet. Heh I guess its a pride thing.

I am okay with the relationships I have with my friends, we fcuk around a lot and I am cool with it, theres really nothing much people can say that will offend me much. We push the limits sometimes and its fun for me.

3. Thank you I am feeling good and advise everyone to try it. I am coming up on a weekend soon, ill keep you guys posted on how I do.

4. I do think I subconsciously try to impress people but thats just a part of me. When there is a girl, I might do something to impress her like show her that I have no problem walking up to a girl that she picks and talk to her (like in the previous msg). When it gets to a point where I am doing things to impress people because of an insecurity or an insufficiency I feel, then there is a problem there and it happens sometimes and something I work on. Let me know what you think and how you have developed from being a person that continually needs to impress people.

5. I smell some sarcasm in the frat thing. Dont be quick to judge, keep in mind that the media and a lot of people like to extract the dirt from fraternities, makes for good press. All the study sessions, philanthropy, brotherhood is all undermined unfortunately in this process, so yeah keep that in mind. Greeks arent all that bad.

As far as amoging, for me its just irritating when your drunk buddy (and I dont care how damn close you are to someone, you will have to deal with this) says something to try to for the lack of a better work "AMOG" you. For me I could give a siht about what the girl thinks, its that your homie would try to lower you to up his value, and weve all done it before at one time or another. I try very hard not to do this but my relationships with my close buddys are all founded on very playful tones and we like to bag on each other. In my eyes ok its not a big deal but it is something you have to deal with.

I guess I find it hard to believe that you can sit there and be PUAisque unaffected when someone comes in and deliberately tries to mess your game up, friend or not. You sit there and do nothing your the butt of a joke, you try and "out-Alpha" you are still a douche. So what to do?

 

[milton]

Day 2

Nothing too much to report, just want to keep into the habit of updating
this as often as I can. I was thinking today that sunglasses can be a
great tool, for one you can check out any girl without them knowing, and
possibly check out girls that are checking you out without them knowing.
In addition, I feel a lot more confident with them on, it seems like
protection, girls cant tell as much about you when you have them on, I
feel. If you are a person that has shifty eyes you can cover that up, if
you have a problem looking at boobies and not maintaining eye contact, or
if you just feel more confident looking cool (; I feel like sunglasses can
be a great tool.

There are two girls that I kinda have been gaming... or should I say gamed
by, one is intelligent, 3.8 GPA at a top university, cooks me food and is
a sweet girl. The other is mature and can handle herself very well
socially. Both girls I have taken out and had a good time with but just
dont do it for me in terms of looks. As shallow as this sounds, at this point in my life I feel like physical attraction is very important, I would say as equally important as a good personality is. It just sucks because it seems like its become the proven cliche that women have one or the other and its rare that they have both. I always hear older people say that looks dont matter, but Im thinking these guys stopped shagging there wives a while back and it seems like looks dont last but they do matter. Being at the ugliest public university I guess doesnt help much with that but, I feel like the hot ones have boyfriends and the so so looking ones are cool but I feel like ill be settling. What is the best approach? I think just practice on whoever I can and maybe someday the timing will be right to shag a hottie.

Tommorow is going to be a good day, I will be on campus all day approaching girls and using my buddies campaign as an excuse to talk to people. Anyone got any good ideas on approaching? Hes running for a position in senate and I am just helping him rally votes. I have been approaching with:
Hey you look kinda hot... lemme cool you off with my flyer...
Ok I know im the 20th guy approaching you with this damn flyer but I have something important to tell you...

 

[milton]

Day 3

Great day on campus today. I was feeling good, smelling nice and energized to talk to people. For some reason I am intimidated by girls that are taller than me. Its funny how your mentality reflects on how you portray yourself. If you think you are confident than you might exude some confidence, if you KNOW you are confident, you will be. With this girl, I was introduced to her and I did the oh yeah I think I've met you before somewhere ****. I hate that. Acting like you dont remember someones name just to subtly show your importance and worth, and you know when people are doing it to you.

HB 7: Opened her before and played the whole name game before, this time I told her that she better remember cause I remembered her name, couldnt tell with this one if she was acting or not, but as we walked she smiled, touched her hair and seemed very responsive. Its all in the body language, I dont even remember half the things I said, I had gum and used that as a crutch, saying something how her breath didnt stink or anything but i would love to give her some gum in exchange for a vote. It was a couple minute conversation but good enough, I just wished I had escalated more and faster, I feel like I ejected too fast and thats the problem with many people these days. Afraid of success.

HB 7.5: Have been talking to her on campus, we talk and shoot the ****, laugh and talk about stuff but I feel like I need to escalate. She always comes and talks to me and I can tell shes looking at me (hopefully im not too full of myself) sunglasses are a charm. Im envisioning a number close but I dont want just any awkward im not gonna call / im not gonna pick up #close. Whats a good excuse to number close? I was thinking the typical you should come party at our house sometime... or have a meaningful conversation and straight up be like I wanna take you out give me your number. Thoughts?

Not too bad, keeping up in the posting. Hope it lasts. Enjoy, absorb, comment please (;

 

[DJVladdy]

By the way, I was not sarcstic with the frat comment. I wish I was in one.
Having said that: i hope ur in a GOOD, respected frat on ur campus. Cuz I noticed there tends to be some real good ones, and a couple of those that no one really respects and avoids. As long as you made the right choice - more power to you!

 

[Mavrick]

Cheers, mate! I'm glad you're working to do something different in yourself. It's positive, and wish you well. I hope you can find the encouragement you need. Good luck!

 

[milton]

Day4
First of all I want to thank you all for the responses, Im glad people
actually take the precious time out of their day to read my posts.

First night going out sober. It seems like it takes time and time again to
learn that I can have a good night without alcohol. I guess you have to
have a night out of the month or out of two months where you get piss
faced… well maybe that’s not even necessary.

To recap on the night: we began out night at my fraternity house, pretty
interesting dynamic when people are drunk and you are not. Its funny how
“alpha male” you are pressured into being when you are in a room with a
bunch of frat boys. It was funny because I was sitting there making fun of
myself and everyone in the room how we perpetuate the frat boy stereotype.
Every damn comment we would twist into a joke about how big our shafts
were.

Anyways, we go to another fraternity and I was somehow put into a room
with prolly 7 bros that I had never met before, admittedly it was a little
bit uncomfortable but it was a gift from the heaveans. I was forced to be
social, extend my hand, and be in a situation where it wasn’t my norm. I
like that. After coming out of the room and going downstairs, I was
RELIEVED to see some people that I recognized (Lets call her girl K), and
at this point I had no problem being social. This is a girl that I had
taken out on a date and k-closed but was not that interested in anymore,
so basically I had some fun with her negging her and her friends. She
continues to make fun of me about how I hooked up with a 17 year old and I
take it with a smiled, unaffected. Great attitude to have I feel. Also my
I owe my friend 10 pushups from a bet we had and he told me to execute
there. I set my pride away (which can be very valuable in terms of gaming)
and do it. A bro comes up and asks me about it and I explain it, we all
had a good laugh. This is all a precursor to gaming these next two girls,
I walk up to them and explain to them my sober plan. (This has been a
great conversation piece by the way) She flirts with me and temps me with
the drink and we mess around for a little, her friend comes up and I tell
her she looks like my friend, I almost guess her name right and I put out
my hand to shake it. She misses and I make fun of her to the max about it.
Good times. No f-close, but I had 3 cute asian girls around me laughing
and I was feeling good. I could see the initial girl (Girl K) the I
recognized in the corner of my eye, eyeballing me.

Next party, I am chillin there completely sober, and a girl introduces
herself to me, its very entertaining watching drunk people btw, and Im
freestyling it, I came up with some bull**** about how she has a nice
wrist and I bet she would be pretty good at flipcup. Sometimes, creativity
is at its best when you spit it impromptu. (Girl K) comes in and makes a
comment about me fugging a 17 year old, deliberately Kockblocking. I acted
disappointed and pissed but I was actually very entertained that she would
go through the effort.

Came back to my neighbor, sweet girl wanted me to bring her alcohol, sucks
though because I wont let myself do stuff with her, will get too attached
and proximity will mess that up. This is the 3.8 girl btw.


Anyways nothing too crazy, but I had a great night… sober. I feel like I
excercised my brian, had great fun conversations, and will remember them.
When I get back into drinking again, I want to have at least one night a
week where I go out and just don’t drink, its refreshing and fun, a
different type tho.

What I learned:

Its great soberly appreciating drunkness.

 

[DoctorLW]

Haha I've grabbed girls asses. It's not necessarily a bad thing... a lot of them like that. You play it by ear, depending on the girl. I've never gotten in trouble for it.

Also, I disagree with sober game. Fvcked up game is way more fun . If you go out with the mindset of having fun and not actually throwing game you'll do just fine...

 

[milton]

I am not gonna game sober the rest of my life of course. Its just been an experiment, a great one. You dont realize how much of a social lubricant and crutch it is. Only when you quit for a while can you truley ground yourself and kind of come back to reality, your reality. Where you dont need this IDEA of alcohol to make you a fun person. When I begin to solidify the idea that I am fun and can have fun without alcohol, it is the most liberating feeling that I have felt in a long time. So yeah, game sober, at least for a week or two, its refreshing and fun (;

Here goes:

Day 5

(This is from yesterday btw)

Damn this is harder than I thought ... both keeping this journal updated and not drinking, especially being in a frat. But as the cliche goes, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, but I was close to dying without alcohol. So yeah. Anyways I went to a bar and started to start DHVing, my buddies were surrounded by girls and we played with them, it was fun. I was playfully mean to this one girl telling her to back the **** off with a smile but I guess her insecurity got the better of her. She didnt know how to deal with it and she started violently grabbing my shirt... almost ripping it. Im not for violence towards girls but this drunk slooter needed to learn not to disrespect men, so I punched her.... No I am just kidding... I just grabbed her hand firmly and said "Calm down... no touchy ok?" Keep in mind I am completley sober so I am aware of everything and everyone (moreso than anyone else). Admittingly, this was pretty entertaining. Yeah... interesting stuff.

Awesome day though btw, went to the pier with a couple of my buddies and just chilled on the beach and messed around. Weather is great, life is great.

Day 6
Today was another great day, went to the SF city with the boys again and decided to, at night call up all the girls that would be down to chill to come hang out with us. We played some beerpong, there was this cute girl that seemed to be really into my sense of humor. I was sitting there talking to her while 3 people were hovering around and I said something stupid and she laughed her ass off when no one else did. So in my mind I knew it was a stupid joke but she was still laughing, I guess a major IOI. Girl K was invited by the way and was in the backgroud, I felt her bitterness radiating and I really dont know what to do with it, how to channel it. My friends dont really like her but one of my buddies is trying to hit her up so she gets invited.

Anyways, I invited my neighbor over and we hung out for a little. This girl I really think had a thing for me, shes left my over 20 facebook comments, calls me a lot, and all my friends tell me that she has a thing for me. I walk her back to her place and she grabs my arm and we just shoot the ****. I make an excuse to go up to her place, its just me and her and we start using marker to write on each other. I felt there was some sexual tension as we were sitting on the ground. She said she had class and I tested her by asking her if she was tired, she said not really. We sat on the couch and she asks me what Josh was going to tell her that night, apparently my friend Josh was drunk and was gonna spill something incriminating about me to her. I said I would just tell her, and that "it was just that I wanted to do this" and I went in for the kiss. She pushed me away saying that she was tipsy, I even asked her before how drunk she was just to make sure. But this girl is a good girl and I guess even a kiss is a big deal, at least the sexual tension was relieved. She lied on my chest and I stroked her hair a little, her roomate came back, (good timing I guess) and we shot the **** a little and I hugged her hard and left. I assumed she LMRed because she has never been kissed and yeah didnt really know how to deal with it, she wants it to be "perfect" I guess or something. Oh well, I am thinking I am going to send her an email saying that I just want to be friends to test the waters. Well see what happens

What a dope ass sober week. I am going to miss it after I get into the habit of drinking again.

 

[SinJester]

Just want to say that I read all of your stuff, and enjoyed it too. I'm kinda going through the same thing.

But what the fck is up with people tellin you to stick to alcahol? Seriously I bet these are the guys who can't pick up sober. Sure when you drink you have a good time and might pick up but what's the point if you don't remember half of it? And you don't gain any social skills from it. Now I'm not dissmising it its awesome fun but in my opinion it shouldn't be a crutch and it shouldn't be something we do every weekend.

All the best guys in the game never drink. Now I'm not saying "all the gurus do it so we should too", it's just a fact. Being drunk actually hurts your game, well around sober chicks. I've found that when you are drunk it doesn't work to well around sober people and you definately aren't going to hook up with a sober chick, they will probably just use you for entertainment. On the flipside if your sober you aren't gonna have as much of a chance with a drunk chick and I think that's kind of against my morals anyway.

You are totally right about acting alpha when everyones fcked up except you. It's entertaining to watch drink people but you don't want to fall into the trap of watching them have fun rather than having fun yourself. You probably look heaps better to all the chicks who aren't drinking when you are the sober one. "I'm lookin after these guys tonight" lol.

Anyway that's just me spilling my thoughts. When I say 'you' in the above paragraphs I'm just talking about my own experiances. I would like to hear what other people think about all this.

If you enjoyed the sober week so much why do you feel pressured to start drinking again? Why don't you just drink occasionally? Don't fall for peer pressure, that's weakness. Do what YOU want. I'm not even trying to influence you one way or the other just look into yourself and see what you really want. Myself, well I am tired of using alcahol as a crutch, I've managed to function at full awesomeness on just a drink or 2 now, next I've got to cut down altogether.

Nice reading your thread bro.

 

[Magma]

It's been close to three years since I quit the sauce. The best thing I have done for myself, hands down. BOOZE IS A CRUTCH! Until you realize that, you will not progress as a Man. There is no room for drunkenness and debauchery if you lead an exciting and interesting life. Guys that go out and get smashed all the time are LOSERS!

I challenge every member on this board to stop drinking for ONE MONTH. See what happens. If you can't, you might have a problem. If you can, then you might see how you have been using booze as a crutch for some other deficiency.

Respect, Milton.

 

[milton]

Thanks for all the comments, very insightful.

SinJester: I guess thats just inevitably of being in college and surrounding myself with the people I do. Had I joined the chess club, I probably would not have people around telling me to drink at gunpoint. But its worth it I guess, I love my friends and the people I surround myself with and a LOT of them (as well as me.. before) drink large amounts of alcohol. I dont resent anyone for it but accept it as it is. But yeah, this week was definatley enlightening, when I go out in the future I will be drinking a lot less. Im glad you enjoyed the read.

Magma: "Guys that go out and get smashed all the time are LOSERS!" Very true... think about the guys you know that are the biggest drinkers, are they classy, sophisticated men that can spit game? Chances are... no.


Day 7

Today was a chill day, my neighbor called me up and I part of me thinks that she wanted me to think or know that she is still interested in me after the failed k-close, I have been thinking whether or not to send her a LJBF email just to test the waters and see how she responds to it. If she gives any hint that she wants something more and I she was just nervous because it was her first kiss.. then I will pursue. If she completely agrees with the LJBF, then oh well it was fun while it lasted and its time to move on to another gurlie. Thoughts?

Tomorrow I have a job interview with a big M&A firm, hopefully it goes well, I see it as great sarging practice. Strong frame, eye contact, sharp wit and a little bit of bullsiht and sweet talk. Hope it goes well.

Again thanks for reading everyone.

 

[Telos]

I'm not trying to knock you, but honestly, do you ever get laid? I mean, it seems like you're pretty happy without the action, so more power to you I suppose, but sh*t, with all the girls you've been chatting up and social engineering experiments it seems like you should have had way more success in that arena.

 

[milton]

Honestly, not as much as I would like to. Tonight for example a girl called me up (not attractive) and said bluntly that she wanted to hook up. I told her that I had given sex up.... with her (haha)... I had hooked up with this girl when I was drunk before, but she was not attractive in any way. But point is yeah, I dont get laid as much as I do but I am more for quality now. Hope that answers your question, and yeah if your validating your self worth with how many girls you have had sex with.... hmm... well thats not my style. I see this forum as place to improve your relationship with women... not just a place to just learn how to get laid. Yep. I was happy with my week although I didnt have a different girl to bang every night... call me crazy.

Well, I think this is a good place to end my experiment. I had a great sober week and learned a lot about people, alcohol, and myself. My interview went great, I talked to a bunch of girls, most importantly had a lot of fun doing it. This is some of the best years of our lives, its nice to know that I still have some substance and character without the alcohol crutch. Its going to be repeated over and over on this forum, and for a good reason, but try to sober game for ... just one week... heck just one weekend... youll learn a lot. Most people on this forum I know drink and get sucked into the societal trap of needing to drink, as a crutch, as an excuse to be someone. Man up... prove to yourself that you have character, class, humor without alcohol as an excuse to show it. Anyways I thank you all for your input and support and hope to sarge with some of you guys in the near future.

Sarge on.

 

[Moly]

Nice read, I'm going to try this for myself, I don't really like getting drunk anyway and I'm already in a bet which says I can't drink more than 5 beers per night, so I've got plenty of reason not to drink at al. Thanks for the motivation

 

[BustedKnucks]

Good work fella.

I wish I had gone away to school.