So....

[ItsOnNow]

Ok,this is a more positive thread,but some of my problems still persist.

One thing that has always bothered me is my own inner state. In regards to that,I have always felt like I am not the person I want to be, almost like an indentity crisis of sorts. I realize Only I have control over this,and have been letting it control me for so long. I am trying to overcome that.

I do feel like I am behind,and yet, have always had high goals,but feel I have done little to got for them. I am at this odd midway point. Another,is the constant lack of femal companionship. So,what can I do? I need to edit this later.

 

[Mavrick]

I'm proud of you. I've been there, and I struggle from time to time. I think you're on the right path. Just don't play the victim. Don't let anyone have that.

 

[ItsOnNow]

I am not trying too,I never have,but it has for a long time now felt like it has gone on for so long,that I can't change it. I mean,I sit here,night after night,wishing my life was different.

 

[Mavrick]

If you knew there was a way to change, and you knew without a doubt that it would help you change into the person you want to be, would you do it?

 

[ItsOnNow]

Yes. I would. But,there is something holding me back. Whether its something mental or emotional,or just certain feelings.

 

[Mavrick]

I'd like to know what you have tried so far and that can't include posting on sosuave. I'm curious.

The reason I ask is because it will be hard to change. It's ingrained deep in you subconscious, and it will be just as hard as quiting a heroin addiction or smoking habit. That's what you subconscious thoughts are. They are formed from every day habits.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Well,that's hard to say. Cause in alot of ways,I feel as I haven't tried at all,or,I don't realize what has worked and what hasn't. I mean,I get up,I go to work,which keeps me occupied and mental stress reliever,and then,I come home,go out and try and stay busy when I am not working. I feel like I have,and in someways,always had,a complete lack of social and/or love life.

 

[Mavrick]

It's time to change that. All of it can change. Your world doesn't have to stay the same as it always has. I know this for a fact. I have expanded my social circles further than I ever have in just a couple of months. I've been laid a lot this year alone. I have women chasing me, calling and texting all day long. I have friends that will be there for me whenever I ask.

You can change. It's a struggle, but if you really want to change, you can do it, but you have to jump into the material that's offered on this website and where ever else you can find it. A good start would be the book "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself". Another good source of info is "The Blueprint Decoded". On this website, there is the DJ Bible, The Book of Pook, and The Book of Shuma Gora. Another good source is "The Dating Wizard".

Every bit of this information will tell you that it's in you. It everything you thought it was, but were scared to do.

It's time to stop posting for a little while, stop running, and start reading and studying. It's time to learn because it will work. I'm living proof.

 

[ItsOnNow]

I know what your'e saying. But, I don't know how much of it is a real problem,and how much is in my head,how much of it may be personality related,how much is just mental. I am still upset cause I feel like a late bloomer,or I have been missing out and everyone is so far ahead of me.

It's great that you have that,that's what I have wanted. Always wanted,hell, I see people younger than me with that,and I envy them a bit. As for changing, this has just gone for so long,and I know it sounds like excuses,that it's almost like I know nothing else.

 

[Mavrick]

Personality isn't permanent. It's all in your head, and it can be changed.

Seriously, I've given you all I can give you. I gave you some very good sources. It's up to you to take the time to change. If you don't want to, then you don't want to change.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Well,you say you're living proof. How? What happened? How did you change it? What was it like before?

 

[Mavrick]

I was married to a verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive woman, and I took everything she said about me and held on to it and believed it. I supplicated to "so called" friends, I put coworkers on a pedestal and could not relate, I even put my parents thoughts above my own and when I visited them I felt beneath them because that's the way they brought me up to be, and just so many WRONG WRONG ways of thinking. I had no clue what I was doing to myself and my life. My way of thinking was so freaking backwards. I thought that the less room I took up and the less I was heard, the more people would like me. The less waves I made it seemed easier to fit in, but it was all a lie. People don't like people that they can affect.

I've discovered that you absolutely can not let anyone have the upper hand. You can't let what they do or say affect you or control your emotions. You can not be reactive to others, but know who you are and where you're coming from. When someone gets to you, they've automatically been given your power. You cannot give that away. You have to look at every situation with a positive outlook.

 

[ItsOnNow]

That sucks to hear. I was never involved with anyone abusive,as I've never really been involved with anyone,but when I was 16,I started to feel exteremly depressed about everything,including myself. I had few freinds,no girls,and kept telling myself I was a loser. This went on for years. This led to me being well,a bit reclusive. Now,I don't know what to call it. That,plus feeling behind educationally and in life as well.

I believe putting people on a pedestal is a problem for me as well. What's it mean again? To say or think they're above you? I also have had the problem of backwards thinking and sometimes staying quiet and wanting to fit in. Giving away power has been a problem I think since I was a kid.

 

[Mavrick]

Then you know where to start.

I have no problem making new friends anymore, and I don't have a shortage of women. I thought maybe I was ugly or something, but the whole time it was my attitude.

 

[ItsOnNow]

I have always felt unnatractive. Like,it's just not there. Or I don't have the right qualities. I realize,alot of it's mental.

 

[Mavrick]

In fact, I had a girl take me to a movie last night, I have a girl cooking for me tomorrow night, and I'm going to a concert with another chick who I actually ate lunch with today. Women aren't that hard once you stop getting your validation from them. When they stop being everything that's important, they become easy.

I'm not bragging, but giving you hope. It's really easier than you think.

 

[ItsOnNow]

I have actually become less validation seeking. Not that I was so much before,but I have been rethinking alot since finding the site. It's just,I never have had a woman or women constantly around,and it sucks. As one can imagine.

 

[Mavrick]

Do you initiate anything with women? Are you involved in anything besides work and sosuave?

 

[ItsOnNow]

Not really. No,I never really have. Other than online,I just don't have "it",it seems like. Plus,having always looked at porn doesn't help. It just seems to me that,some guys get all the girls after them,some don't. I don't know what it is about me,shyness,lack of confidence,inexperinence,lack of certain social skills.

 

[Mavrick]

,shyness,lack of confidence,inexperinence,lack of certain social skills.

That's exactly right. In order to be successful with women and in with life in general, you have to be decisive, strong, and not let life control you, but you control life. It's your reality that you have, and it's not that the reality has you.

You have to break the mold and go approach. I get a few of numbers a week, but that's not very many, but it attributes to my success with women. Women want to be taken, not supplicated to. They love a man who knows what he wants and doesn't talk about his emotions and all that crap.

Women don't like men who can't find there balls and even approach them. They go for the man that isn't intimidated by them.

You don't have women because you don't try.