"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

So, what now?

nski

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Not so long ago, I made a tinder account. It was just for fun, and I didn't really expect or hope for anything. However, after a few days I texted with a girl on there, and everything just went well, almost. I didn't really ask her out, but dropped a hint and she responded with asking if I had plans going out before christmas(both are going home). The problem is, we found out that no date fit before going home.
I then asked for her number saying we could meet up after newyear. Got the number. But what now? It's in over a month, I can't just do nothing for a month and then call/text her. Also, I don't want to get too serious, as we're young and I see it as more of a game.
In addition, any tips for setting up a date? It looks like she wanted to go out and meet me with her friends than go on a "date". But that's maybe what you get when letting her initiate? Or it could be just me reading too much into things, it's hard to find out over text without being too direct.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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nski

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Thanks for the advice, but honestly. I would not at all be comfortable calling her. We haven't even talked, and I don't know how interested she is. The main problem is that I feel asking for her number kind of closed the conversation. I explicitly said that I wanted her number so we could talk after new year. I don't know where to go from that.
 

AllDay85

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If you're not even comfortable calling her, how do you think you'll fare in person. Man up and call her quick. Establish yourself early while the opportunity is there.
 

nski

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In person, we would have planned to meet. It would be natural, opposed to calling her for the sake of calling her when I have nothing important to talk about, and have no idea how our connection is.
 

nski

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Trying to bump this as more advice would be helpful. If you guys really mean I should call her after a superficial conversation on tinder, how would you do it? How would you continue from an ended conversation, and how do you "end the conversation on a high note"? It seems a little forced, and I don't want to appear too needy.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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stevo

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The point being passed across is TAKE CHARGE.

She's swerving your way so keep leading

Do you think she'd rather wait till after new year to hear from you? No!
so why should you? if you do wait her expectation would drop so goes the interest level.

So you met on tinder, so you got her number, so you called her made her laugh, so she thought about you all through the holidays and initiated convo here and there, so after the holidays you fcuked her and kept rotating.

Calling would be better because it requires a lot of nerves to do however what comes naturally to you? texting? at the early stage some contact is better than no contact.

You could text her but you dont want to be just another text making her phone buzz, build up some rapport so you'd be just the dude that makes her panties wet.



If she has your number and know who you are:

Go do something really fun and active like get on a rollercoaster then call her

You'd be on a natural high.

- Hey, I'm still trying to catch my breath, how are you?

She goes on about whatever

- Good stuff, I'm doing alright don't have much free time so I'm enjoying the little that I have.

She goes on about whatever

- Good stuff, hit me up later this evening, my friends are headed my way.



If she doesn't have your number:
Text her so she attaches you to that number then next week refer to the above.
 
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