So what if you do not have much sex at all?

[BobFuest]

well after being a wh0re for so long, i decided to make dating less about sex and more about relationships and getting to know people. Things are going great and I have been dating a woman that was friend of mine. We get along great, she is a flexible giver, great cook, and knows how to take care of a man. We dont have any issues and have a great time whenever we are together. but... I started looking at the statistics today and I came to a shocking realization, we do not really have sex or making out very much. Here are the numbers:

We have been dating for almost 3 months now
We have made out or French kissed maybe 3 times although we do kiss a lot.
We have had sex 3 or 4 times in that whole time.
sex was only once really her idea.

Now, I have been trying to not think with my pen1s and really just relax on the whole sex issue but I am starting to wonder if maybe I should be more aggressive. I think I might be too relaxed. Comments? advice?

 

[Warrior74]

so....averaging about about once a month? how much time do you spend with her? what do you want to do? If you want more sex go for it. Does she act like she wants more sex?

wait...nevermind. I don't even wanna know. Figure this out for yourself buddy. Man up.

 

[MotownMack]

My initial thought is that she is getting more out of the companionship aspect than she is in terms of romantic interest.

I've been guilty of it too-I've had plates who's company I enjoyed, maybe there was even some sex at some point (maybe not), but at the time, hanging out with them was better than anything else I had going on.

Like everyone else, I go through periods where I am totally fine being alone when I don't have a serious interest in anyone, and then other times where it's nice to have something along the lines of FWB that you are comfortable with, where you can hang out with them like you would a friend or g/f, but still have the option of going beyond just being friends when the mood arises.

There's nothing inherently "wrong" with your situation, but if you're romantically interested in this girl and want things to go further, then it's not good. She's obviously looking to share emotions and time with you, far more than she is interested in romance or sex-that part is painfully clear.

What to do next depends on what you're looking for.

If it's just to continue this semi-FWB thing you got going on, then yes, just be more aggressive. She'll either comply or let you know she's not interested, in which case you have your answer.

If you want more than that, I don't think it's looking very good right now. The only solution is to try to generate more attraction in it's various forms, but odds are that by now, she's made up her mind in terms of the regard she holds you.

 

[BobFuest]

My initial thought is that she is getting more out of the companionship aspect than she is in terms of romantic interest.

I've been guilty of it too-I've had plates who's company I enjoyed, maybe there was even some sex at some point (maybe not), but at the time, hanging out with them was better than anything else I had going on.

Like everyone else, I go through periods where I am totally fine being alone when I don't have a serious interest in anyone, and then other times where it's nice to have something along the lines of FWB that you are comfortable with, where you can hang out with them like you would a friend or g/f, but still have the option of going beyond just being friends when the mood arises.

There's nothing inherently "wrong" with your situation, but if you're romantically interested in this girl and want things to go further, then it's not good. She's obviously looking to share emotions and time with you, far more than she is interested in romance or sex-that part is painfully clear.

What to do next depends on what you're looking for.

If it's just to continue this semi-FWB thing you got going on, then yes, just be more aggressive. She'll either comply or let you know she's not interested, in which case you have your answer.

If you want more than that, I don't think it's looking very good right now. The only solution is to try to generate more attraction in it's various forms, but odds are that by now, she's made up her mind in terms of the regard she holds you.

I like what you said. She has never said no or that she was tired except when she was on her period. Up until the last 3 weeks we only hung out maybe once a week.
Also one last note; I have never known this girl to be that sexual. She has sex of course but is very wholesome and prudish in the way she thinks and proabably only had sex with a handful of guys (known her for 10 years).

 

[Mr.Positive]

Are you getting enough sex? For me, that is definitely not enough to keep me content.

There's nothing wrong with your situation, if you are happy. It becomes a problem if you want more sex, than she does. You run into incompatible sex drives, and you will feel cheated, frustrated, and will lose interest in the long run.

Also, keep in mind that you are framing your situation with her placing sex as a low priority. You are LEADING...and setting the stage for a low sex relationship in the future.

For me, it's the opposite, I try and frame sex as a high priority because for me it is.

 

[BobFuest]

Are you getting enough sex? For me, that is definitely not enough to keep me content.

There's nothing wrong with your situation, if you are happy. It becomes a problem if you want more sex, than she does. You run into incompatible sex drives, and you will feel cheated, frustrated, and will lose interest in the long run.

Also, keep in mind that you are framing your situation with her placing sex as a low priority. You are LEADING...and setting the stage for a low sex relationship in the future.

For me, it's the opposite, I try and frame sex as a high priority because for me it is.

Thank you for the positive comment, you were right. I woke her up and didnt even ask just did my thing. problem solved.

 

[decades]

sex, no sex. it's all the same. It's just You and the passage of time. find a way to be happy. And that's Not going to be about sex.