So the ex texted me

[justin11]

Ex had a party at her place last night. I was invited but didnt have a ride so I couldnt go. She kept posting In our fb group saying that everyone should come, especially people in the bracket (which I was). Then during the party, I was one of the only people who didnt go, and she posted that everyone who didnt come was really missing out. She never does anything like this so im almost positive it was to get my attention. Then, after the party, she texted me saying "You're a bum for not coming." We've barely talked since we broke up, and this is the first time shes texted me since then. I didnt even know it was her at first because I deleted her number as part of no contact.

How should I respond to this? I became much less of an afc since we broke up and shes prob seen this. In terms of getting back with her, I would like to but wouldnt really care if I never saw her again.

 

[Maximus Rex]

How should I respond to this? I became much less of an afc since we broke up and shes prob seen this. In terms of getting back with her, I would like to but wouldnt really care if I never saw her again.

What do you hope to gain by responding to this and what do hope her response will be? After all, she is you ex for a reason.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Another Ex who wants to "be friends" huh?

Just remember this --> When Ex's return its all about EGO and Closure. Its never about you.

Her frail ego needs to know she still has some power over you and she still "matters". That's all she wants.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Follow this rule I'm about to tell you STRICTLY with ZERO deviation and you will never be bitter after a break-up for the rest of your life:

RULE --> Every woman gets once chance per lifetime with you. If she f*cks it up.. she is toast.

Beta fags who give women second chance after second chance after second chance have created the entitled c*ts we have today. Follow this rule not just for yourself but for all men. Kill the entitlement.

 

[happyDJ]

Follow this rule I'm about to tell you STRICTLY with ZERO deviation and you will never be bitter after a break-up for the rest of your life:

RULE --> Every woman gets once chance per lifetime with you. If she f*cks it up.. she is toast.

Beta fags who give women second chance after second chance after second chance have created the entitled c*ts we have today. Follow this rule not just for yourself but for all men. Kill the entitlement.

But what if it was your fault? If you did go beta during the LTR, and she actually hung around you for long until she couldn't possibly continue, it was your fault the attraction was killed. What if you're a different guy later, and you don't make the same beta mistakes during the relationship?
I see what you mean, but in this case she would be giving you a second chance.

 

[Lotus Effect]

RULE --> Every woman gets once chance per lifetime with you. If she f*cks it up.. she is toast.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to PlayHer Man again.

Thank you. Internalized!

 

[Lotus Effect]

But what if it was your fault? If you did go beta during the LTR, and she actually hung around you for long until she couldn't possibly continue, it was your fault the attraction was killed. What if you're a different guy later, and you don't make the same beta mistakes during the relationship?
I see what you mean, but in this case she would be giving you a second chance.

It is your fault that you've became beta??

C'mon man, you just really loved the girl to the point that you were doing stuff for her because you liked it. It may be beta, but it's normal. Don't push yourself too hard because of this.

But it's her fault for sure for being a f**king sl*t and instead of doing something about it just go and gargle on some other dude's di*k!

You loved her, she dumped your a$s, she is fu*king another dude while you are in a forum crying about her, and you still think it is your fault?

F**k that bit*h!

 

[happyDJ]

It is your fault that you've became beta??

C'mon man, you just really loved the girl to the point that you were doing stuff for her because you liked it. It may be beta, but it's normal. Don't push yourself too hard because of this.

But it's her fault for sure for being a f**king sl*t and instead of doing something about it just go and gargle on some other dude's di*k!

You loved her, she dumped your a$s, she is fu*king another dude while you are in a forum crying about her, and you still think it is your fault?

F**k that bit*h!

I see it as driving a car. You have to know how to drive. The car responds to good driving. If you were doing something wrong the car and the driving will suffer. It's not the car's fault. There's nothing she can do about it. It's involuntary attraction or lack of it. Most women don't know what they want. They think they want a white knight, they don't. They want this uber-confident, successful, guy they physically are attracted to. Clinginess and neediness is for babies and their mothers, there's good reason for women to be unattracted in a lover by that behaviour.
It was my fault. But I'm not beating myself over it. Just the way it is. But it was not my responsibility, no one taught me this before, all everyone was telling me was be the AFC white knight. I would have been a genius to figure this out by myself.
And it depends on the woman of course. They are not all the same. And there's a balance between the provider they want and rebel they want. And you have to do it for yourself only. You have to not need them, although you may want them.

 

[PlayHer Man]

But what if it was your fault? If you did go beta during the LTR, and she actually hung around you for long until she couldn't possibly continue, it was your fault the attraction was killed. What if you're a different guy later, and you don't make the same beta mistakes during the relationship?
I see what you mean, but in this case she would be giving you a second chance.

The minute you FEAR losing a woman is the minute you have lost the game. Stop trying to prove things to women as if they are royalty elevated over you.

The only time a man should EVER "feel bad" about his behavior is when he behaves in a way he personally doesn't approve of.

A woman's approval is 100% insignificant. This is because a woman doesn't have to approve of you to f*ck you or date you. She only needs to approve of you to be FRIENDS with you.

 

[Lotus Effect]

This driving car is a valid point. We all know that they don't know what that want and that attraction is an wave, not an on off switch.

Anyway, in order for your point to be valid you may never try to engage contact with the ex, otherwise you will be coming from a position of neediness, low value and lack of options.

In order for this to happen she must do the initial chase, which will be unlikely, since, as we speak she got way more plates than you can ever conceive!

The ex is history. Learn the lesson and be glad to be learning all this knowledge while at it.

It is very few who get this opportunity, and most man will beg, cry, get over and remain blue pilled!

 

[happyDJ]

The minute you FEAR losing a woman is the minute you have lost the game. Stop trying to prove things to women as if they are royalty elevated over you.

The only time a man should EVER "feel bad" about his behavior is when he behaves in a way he personally doesn't approve of.

But this is what I'm saying. I personally do not approve how I was behaving. I'm not afraid of losing any girl.
It's the car example. Like if you're a billionaire. You're not afraid of losing any car. You know you can buy dozens a day. But you do want to learn how to drive it well. Not for the car's sake. But the car responds to your driving! And you were not driving well.

 

[Lotus Effect]

And Justin11.

There is a point that has been missed throughout this discussion.

The point is. Why the fu*k are you in a Facebook group with your ex?!
This is a bad idea man! Get the fuc* out of if ASAP.

 

[happyDJ]

Anyway, in order for your point to be valid you may never try to engage contact with the ex, otherwise you will be coming from a position of neediness, low value and lack of options.

In order for this to happen she must do the initial chase, which will be unlikely, since, as we speak she got way more plates than you can ever conceive!

I totally agree.

But I think there's a chance sometimes. Not that you may even want to grab it given the opportunity. But women are secretly rooting for you, and if you really change and they see it, there's a chance. But several months, maybe years of NC or LC are needed. And plates. Actually, forget plates, maybe just one other girl. I think the true DJ is able to not be an AFC even without plates. I hate plates.

 

[happyDJ]

Men are cars too. Women have to know how to drive us. The analogy works both ways at the same time.
And so many of them don't know. But they also encounter so many bad cars drivers. By the time they find good drivers, the good drivers know they're a bad car. They're only in it for the ride.



There should be driving lessons.
But many people are too lazy. You could tell them "do this for 100 hours and you'll know how to drive for the rest of your life" and they would never do it.

 

[JohnChops]

I totally agree.

But I think there's a chance sometimes. Not that you may even want to grab it given the opportunity. But women are secretly rooting for you, and if you really change and they see it, there's a chance. But several months, maybe years of NC or LC are needed. And plates. Actually, forget plates, maybe just one other girl. I think the true DJ is able to not be an AFC even without plates. I hate plates.

You want to know what a DJ is? It is someone who enjoys their life. Plain and simple. This could be with any number of women or none, women aren't a variable in a DJs life. He attracts women because he simply has better things going on in his life and other passions than chasing tail.

He is not worried about females because they come to him or he goes and gets them when he feels like it. So yes, you can be happy with one girl or 200 girls it does not matter since it is not a variable. Women dont bring you happiness, you bring yourself happiness.

Everything PHM said is good but obviously there are exceptions.

 

[Alvafe]

using your car analogy, if you screw up and break the car and its cheaper and easier to buy a new then fix it, you should buy a new one not lsoe time and money trying to fix it, learn from your mistakes and don't do it on your new car.

and you should follow play her man, you give the woman her chance she blow up, so next woman.

also serious I will share something, you gain nothing hagging with ex's I did that only thing I get was headache in the end when I was pissed enough I unfriend her from facebook and her whole family too plus deleted her number that was the best thing I did in my dealing with her,

she will bring nothing good to you and will try to sabotage you if she see you moving on better and faster then her.

if you still wonder what msg you would send? you should not even care to read her msg ever again even less care to answers

 

[PlayHer Man]

But this is what I'm saying. I personally do not approve how I was behaving. I'm not afraid of losing any girl.
It's the car example. Like if you're a billionaire. You're not afraid of losing any car. You know you can buy dozens a day. But you do want to learn how to drive it well. Not for the car's sake. But the car responds to your driving! And you were not driving well.

Then don't f*ck up next time. Take lessons learned to the next girl.

A smashed car is ruined. Get another car. If you can't get another car because you have to "prove something" with this car.. well.. that's ridiculous and gives the particular car inflated value.

 

[happyDJ]

You want to know what a DJ is? It is someone who enjoys their life. Plain and simple. This could be with any number of women or none, women aren't a variable in a DJs life. He attracts women because he simply has better things going on in his life and other passions than chasing tail.

He is not worried about females because they come to him or he goes and gets them when he feels like it. So yes, you can be happy with one girl or 200 girls it does not matter since it is not a variable. Women dont bring you happiness, you bring yourself happiness.

Totally agree!

she will bring nothing good to you and will try to sabotage you if she see you moving on better and faster then her.

Hmm, yes. I suppose this could happen very often. This is a problem.

Then don't f*ck up next time. Take lessons learned to the next girl.

A smashed car is ruined. Get another car. If you can't get another car because you have to "prove something" with this car.. well.. that's ridiculous and gives the particular car inflated value.

Point taken.
Not the car's fault, but the car has crashed.
So yeah, you drop and forget the car.

But here again, I think the analogy can be pushed further, with value.
Maybe the car hasn't crashed, maybe it was just the driving that really sucked.
There are some great quality cars out there, in the hands of inexperienced lucky drivers. Sometimes they haven't crashed the car yet.
That's what one should be doing: evaluating whether the car crashed or if it was a near-miss.
In either case, it's time for NC or (fun and confident) LC.

 

[justin11]

But what if it was your fault? If you did go beta during the LTR, and she actually hung around you for long until she couldn't possibly continue, it was your fault the attraction was killed. What if you're a different guy later, and you don't make the same beta mistakes during the relationship?
I see what you mean, but in this case she would be giving you a second chance.

It was my fault. During our relationship I became too beta and needy and she lost the attraction. I was the one who ended up breaking it off tho. Thankfully for me, I found this website in the last few days of our relationship and became a lot more alpha.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Totally agree!
Point taken.
Not the car's fault, but the car has crashed.
So yeah, you drop and forget the car.

But here again, I think the analogy can be pushed further, with value.
Maybe the car hasn't crashed, maybe it was just the driving that really sucked.
There are some great quality cars out there, in the hands of inexperienced lucky drivers. Sometimes they haven't crashed the car yet.
That's what one should be doing: evaluating whether the car crashed or if it was a near-miss.
In either case, it's time for NC or (fun and confident) LC.

Is the car accelerating and braking properly? (Behavior)

Is it starting up normally or does it need a boost? (sex)

Is it guzzling extra gas costing the driver extra money and STRESS? (Hoop jumping)

Is it not satisfied with basic NORMAL maintenance? (Attitude)

Why keep a car that has become more expensive and high maintenance as a result of the drivers mistakes when you can REPLACE that car and start fresh with more wisdom?

 

[VikingKing]

So I went on a conventional dating discussion forum, just for fun. To see what the women think about.

Everything about ex girlfriends reasons for contacting you that they tell you here is confirmed.

Here's What one girl says.

"My two year relationship ended about a month ago. I am feeling okay now, not perfect, but pretty happy. I miss my ex boyfriend, of course. However, I have come to terms with the problems our relationship had, and I realize that there are people out there better suited for us. I can’t get rid of my hope that he will tell me how much he misses me and that he wants to get back together, though. I don’t really want to get back together. At least I know in my head that I don’t. I guess I just am looking for advice on how to get rid of my ridiculous hope that he will come back. I feel like it’s just going to keep me from completely moving on. So any advice on how to quit hoping would be awesome. Thanks!"

http://www.datingadvice.com/forum/topic/moving-on

So think about that op. She just said she wants him to try to get back with her, so she knows he is missing her, so it will help her move on.

She basically just said "I want validation from him."