so tell me what you think

[djjoe]

well, first of all, i`m new to this board...

so, hi to everybody...

i found this board just a few days ago and tried to read and implement as much of the information as possible as i was dating a lovely girl two days ago... and before reading this whole lot of info i didn`t know how to act... i think it got a lot better through reading...

so now to my date:
we met at a coffeehouse, and talked about 2 1/2 hours; i tried to use as many techniques as i could from here (body language, nodding, i smiled a lot, i didn`t analyze her problems, let her talk about her, complimented her hair and looked her into the eye a lot, which she seemed to like...
so when we had to go i payed for her drinks and then we went together some streets as we were parking a bit away from the coffeehouse... she had parked her car a bit closer, so she offered me to take me to where i had parked my car...
i of course, agreed, and so she took me there... when it was time to get out of the car, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "thank you"

so please tell me:
do you think it was okay...??? did i act??? what could ì`ve done better???
real important question:
do you think she might be into me??? as i am into her a lot, i tried not to let her know that much, but i am.....

yeah, so please tell me your opinion...

thx alot...

 

[Gonzalo]

Congratulations on getting started. Only thing I can say is: don't care that much. Chill out about the whole aspect. I know it's pretty addictive when you come across all this perhaps new information, so next time you're with a girl you want to try some of the tricks from the new bag. But really, I think that the really useful thing you can learn is that women and dating are just for your own fun, and you're there to be entertained in a way, not to try to impress the girl.

Oh and by the way, girls somehow *KNOW* when you're into them and when you're not dating anyone else. If you really want the Way, forget about any one girl being special after meeting her for 2 hours. Get out there and get more numbers/dates, and you'll naturally appear more chill when you're with a girl, without even saying a word. Because by going through the motions of practicing with more women, subconciously you don't project neediness (the one thing that repels women). Hope that helps. G

 

[djjoe]

well, she also promised me to visit me in my "student-city" which is about 200kms away, in which she also studied... i had to go back here again the next day after our date as i have to learn for an exam about a month ahead....

can you tell me if it would be wise to phone her and ask her out again anytime near in the future???

or should i wait until she contacts me again...

i somehow handled not calling her for the last two days, which was somewhat hard...

what do you think????

thx alot

(btw, please excuse my not so good english, i`m from europe, english is not my mother-tongue....)

 

[djjoe]

can you tell me if it would be wise to phone her and ask her out again anytime near in the future???

come on...

anybody?????

 

[Gonzalo]

Dude, if it's hard not to call a girl for two days then worrying about this particular girl isn't exactly what you need now. Keep things light, if you want to call her, call her to make a date. Have some numbers in mind at first, like seeing her once a week in the beggining, etc. Thing is you don't want to come off as needy (needy= she thinks you don't have any girl but her in your book). Check out Doc Love's past articles, might be good complement for the DJ Bible. G

 

[djjoe]

okay, thanks alot for the reply...

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You, as a man. should initiate contact - but don't show her your eagerness so blatantly - be suave!! Relax and don't over-analyze!!

Of course you should ask her out again!! Invite her to a fun activity and not to a coffeehouse!!

 

[djjoe]

Invite her to a fun activity and not to a coffeehouse!!

i assume with fun activity you think about going to the cinema or going to a concert, or going out in the evening???

thx,

 

[2xp]

Originally posted by djjoe
can you tell me if it would be wise to phone her and ask her out again anytime near in the future???

hey you are thinking too much about this particular girl. if you don't watch out, it will develop more and more until you are unable to do anything naturally. whenever it happens too me, i go out and meet more girls and people, so i have always a couple of other prospects.

and yeah, of course, go out with her.

edit : fun dates : bowling, parks (entertainement parks), skating, rollers, eating out, sports, dancing classes... whatever looks fun ... she lives 200 kms, it's weird to ask her to go to a coffeehouse

 

[djjoe]

i thought i should inform you about this:

about 2 weeks ago, during our first date she had promised me to inform me when she gets to my student city (which is 200kms away from where we both are born and have grown up, she still lives there, she just has studied last year at my "student-city") and visit me in my new flat...
after that i didn`t do anything, i didn`t contact her...

today i have got three short messages from her, she told me that she would come to where i live now, but she didn`t say a word about visiting me she told me she would come because she was invited to a party here....
(she knows a lot people here because she has been studying here for about 1 year)
i don`t know... perhaps she wants to see me and doesn`t want to invite herself into my flat by saying "I`m coming to you on saturday..."

well, i haven`t replied to the short message yet, and I don`t know what to do...
i mean of course she would come on saturday and leave on sunday, which means she would have a lot of spare time to come and see me or to do something with me...
so i don`t know what to reply... i mean, does she want an extra-invitation??? should i ask her again if she wants to come and see my flat??? or should i just ask if she has some spare-time and wants to meet me or so...
or should i play not-interested and just wish her a lot of fun at her party....????

please help me out guys...

all the best, johannes

p.s.: would you reply by short-message or should i call her...???

 

[djjoe]

come on guys

 

[djjoe]

so please respond....

 

[JJMcLure]

Originally posted by djjoe
today i have got three short messages from her, she told me that she would come to where i live now, but she didn`t say a word about visiting me she told me she would come because she was invited to a party here....

i don`t know... perhaps she wants to see me and doesn`t want to invite herself into my flat by saying "I`m coming to you on saturday..."

You didn't contact her too soon and didn't come off desperate and now she has contacted you about meeting up. Good work.

Of course she told you about her coming to town because she wants to meet up. It's up to you to suggest meeting up and you should have a time and place in mind too (and an alternative in case the first idea clashes with her party).

She might invite you to the party, but be careful - this kind of group situation can be difficult as a "date" because of other drunk guys around and also you will not get much time alone etc. Plus if she knows everyone it might end up she spends little time with you.

or should i play not-interested and just wish her a lot of fun at her party....????

Definately NOT. This is an example of going completely over the top on challenge. There is a difference between liking a chick (and it's fine to let her know it [by actions not words!], she will like it) and being desperate, needy and clingy around her and putting across she is the one and that you love her etc. That difference is CHALLENGE.

p.s.: would you reply by short-message or should i call her...???

You should call her not text her. E-mail, text and MSN messenger are weak methods of communication.

 

[djjoe]

thx alot for the reply...

 

[Alen-Delon]

hey man... first of all... your to nervous about the whole thing... like many of the people replyed i am gonna say it again. stay cool about the whole situation dont be so nervous. its just a girl... be a man take a charge. if you wanna see this girl go ahead and set up a meeting. you dont need anybody to tell you what to do. call her and tell her since she coming into town you would be glad to meet her and spent some time with her. you know use your imagination. go out somewhere fun. and be comfortable about the whole situation. its not that big of a deal. go out have fun and be yourself. thats all i can say for now..

oh yeah and which country u from anyway?

Peace !!

 

[djjoe]

austria, europe...

thx for the replies guys...