You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Thanks for the linkCrissco said:
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That's deppresing.SharinganUser said:I have bouts of depression. You don't really get over it, you just learn to live with it.
Is that supposed to be funny or something?SamTheHobit said:That's deppresing.
I agree totally.SamTheHobit said:That's deppresing.
Groovy said:I agree totally.
I understand what this Hobit is trying to say, he means that u are thinking like a looser, if you had a ounce of self esteem you would think "Ok, so I feel bad, it's a problem, I will solve the problem, it's all under control!". Me and Sam both think, how must it be to live with this mindset!
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Very well put.MM92 said:Depression isn't a sign of weakness, but taking control of that and being happy is a sign of strength.
How do you have time to see a couple therapists, and a psychiatrist?MrJibbles said:Substance Abuse Disorder (alcohol and weed addiction), mild depression, bouts of major depression (suicidal), social anxiety, generalized anxiety, Borderline Personality traits, passive-aggressive traits, insomnia.
The list goes on really. I'm pretty f***ed in the head, to be honest. I see a couple therapists and a psychiatrist. I should probably see a psychologist too.
You're an idiot. I spent three weeks in a psych ward because I had a rope and a five-page suicide note written out. The hospital put me on benzos for alcohol withdrawal as I had been drinking heavily every night for a while and went into major depression. Who the f*** are you to judge me? You don't know the faintest thing about me, other than a bunch of posts I've made on here. What does some facebook messages have to do with my issues? I am not depressed about that. I stopped giving a sh** about that already. Same with the cousin deal. I've moved on.remotecontrol said:your user ID says Canada...are you sure your from the USA?
Fvcking hell fire...I mean I dont wanna put u on a downer because you dont sound like you need much help with that.
I drink...not evry day..once a week usually...but i tend to get loaded...so am i an alcoholic??? please...do i even think like that.
Everyone gets downers...your not human if your happy all the time...
most people are a bit passive aggressive too...fvck most relationships are passive aggressive...why do u think most marriages don't work out.
Fvck sake...if you think everything is a major issue..or something is wrong with you it makes it a million times worse...
the therapists must fvcking love you..the amount of money you must have thrown at them....and for what? You still feel like 5h17...well that was money well spent then wasn't it?????
hire me..ill sort your head out..one on one instructions over 4 weeks..for 10 grand..no make that 40 grand..i fvcking deserve it...if your not sorted out by then u get your money back.
It will suit you down to the ground as evidently you like chucking cash away to people who have not sorted you out already..if i pay for something it better work or else i get a refund....:kick:
I can Analiese your real easy already..anyone who sees three head shrinkers...its because this is your thing...this is how u define yourself (the messed up guy) the guy who doesn't have 1 shrink but 3..and possibly more to come...
This is the image you have helped to create...this is your identity...but you created it..."look at me..i have major issues"... in the back of your mind you probably think this will get you attention ...and i guarantee it has worked very well for a very long time...how fvcking clever am i...no doubt your parents bent over backwards to accommodate you for one thing...and maybe you can attract some girl who feels sorry for you...your even using this board to elicit sympathy towards you...well man..not from me.
Everyone has fvcking problems in life...and yours sound like a joke compared to 2 thirds of the world. Oh you ****ed up on facebook..well that was dumb...also chasing your own fvcking cousin...like you dont know thats a big no no...you do know what the deal is..but you choose not to deal with it...instead you go around in life telling everyone your a broken robot, in order to gain sympathy, take no responsibility for you actions and continue to use supposed mental illness as a get out clause.
That is the absolute truth about you guy....you can man up but you have chosen this alternative path..because like i said...it allows you to skate along with no cop-ability ...its gets you attention and it might get you some pv55y even..the girl who needs to fix a the fvcked up guy routine...
All this 5h17 is in your own head..and a shrink doesn't fix your head...a shrink just collects your cash and has to listen to your attention seeking for a hour a week...or in your case 3 hours.
You wont like what ive said here...but i know..that you know...its dead on accurate. And if you wanted to change you would have by now...so keep on with your stratergy of being broken...it dont wash with me though.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I don't. I see one every 2 weeks, psychiatrist once a month, and one therapist who I talk to for literally 10 minutes then I leave. I see her every 2 months.Iceberg said:How do you have time to see a couple therapists, and a psychiatrist?
I'm not being sarcastic. My mother works in the field, and it's common for someone to see a therapist once per week for an hour. Between work, school, gym, social life, and dating, I don't know how you fit 3+ sessions into a week.