"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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So some women flip out about guns...

Da Realist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 1, 2005
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Location
Memphis, TN
Huffman said:
Seriously guys. Perhaps the girl grew up outside of the USA? Because everywhere else in the world, you DO NOT WANT TO BE near people with guns. In a civilized country!

You need guns in your car? To fend off an attack? Where do you live, in a third world ghetto? Or perhaps the mafia is out to get you? Get real. I think you people have seen to many B-Movies.
Why don't you take your guns to bed with you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsV50T5uEyw
Seriously, I'll never get you Americans. The "greatest nation on earth", where life is so dangerous that you need a gun. Talk about hypocrisy.
You have to undestand that there are two America's: the sunny one some people believe and try to pass off, and the real America where you've got things going on you don't want to be involved with. Most of the time if you know your setting, you don't realy need the gun. There are times though when it may be a good idea to take something with you.

Now with this girl, you don't know her history so it's no use splitting hairs. Since I don' know what you look like, you may have seemed like a gun nut, dealer, or just some paranoid guy. Maybe you acted too serious on the date and she thought you may snap. Maybe she thinks men who have big guns compensate for something else (and a .45 is on the larger end) . Maybe she saw someone killed with a gun. Maybe she's been robbed at gunpoint. Maybe she is part of a secret society that decided to use hand to hand combat over weapons and she thought you were from a rival group. What does it matter? It's in her head and she has to deal with it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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