So she blew me off...

[Vibe]

Okay, so I have been talking to this HB10 (some will argue 9.5) for about two weeks. I met her on the metro, got her E-mail, and have been steadily raising IL. I set the pace for E-mail responses, was vague and playful, etc. So we were supposed to have lunch today. She sent me an E-mail yesterday with her work number and asked me to call her to solidify the plans. When I did, she said she had to work through lunch that day and she might have to do the same thing today, but she would call me and let me know after her meeting. She never called me back yesterday to let me know. She still hasn't. I called her at her office once but she was not at her desk. It's 12:30 now so I assume she is just blowing me off.

I am not sure how to respond to this because it's not like she canceled. She just...didn't call me back. I am not going to NEXT her yet, but I do want to make sure she knows who is in control here.

I am thinking of putting her on "probation." Like calling her out on it in a f/c way. But at the same time, I want her to know how important it is to me that people stick to what they say. In other words, "I don't need her and I don't f*ck around."

Any ideas?

~Vibe~

 

[Desdinova]

Wait for her to call you back. Give her only one more chance to give her the benefit of the doubt for whatever excuse she comes up with. Try making plans with her again. If she flakes a second time, write her off.

 

[Q-Pid]

These are what's known as "barriers" - women place these up a lot to guys they're not sure about. it's why women always want you to call them "before you go out".

Don Juan Swinggcat, has a good theory on overcoming them:

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/benefits.htm

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

You never were in control in the beginning my friend.

Originally posted by Vibe

So we were supposed to have lunch today. She sent me an E-mail yesterday with her work number and asked me to call her to solidify the plans. When I did, she said she had to work through lunch that day and she might have to do the same thing today, but she would call me and let me know after her meeting. She never called me back yesterday to let me know. She still hasn't. I called her at her office once but she was not at her desk.

SHE sets up a date to have lunch

TELLS YOU to call her

You call she again TELLS YOU she "has to work thru lunch and MIGHT do it AGAIN."

She will call YOU back after her meeting

Tell me where you were ever in control here?

The ball was always in her court my friend the day you started emailing for 2 weeks.

Should of set up a date long time ago

Lose lips sink ships. Email TExt and phone will kill it. Use the phone to only set up dates.

Now its obvious she doesn't want to do lunch. To me Lunch is boring and predictable. All you are going to do is watch each other eat then talk some more. BORING!! She can do that over the net emailing you.

Try setting up a date after work hours and do an ACTION Date. Do something that requires less talking more action and touching and just having fun.

To me setting up lunch date during lunchtime will increase your chance of rejection or cancellation. Save those dates for your GF.

Besides shouldn't you be at work too bro?

Personally I like to eat alone and lost in my own thoughts. Helps me to be relax, be at peace, and lunchtime doesn't go so fast.

Anyways bro, next time try to keep the ball in your court as much as possible.

 

[Vibe]

Re: Re: So she blew me off...

Originally posted by OneArmDeeJay
You never were in control in the beginning my friend.



SHE sets up a date to have lunch

TELLS YOU to call her

You call she again TELLS YOU she "has to work thru lunch and MIGHT do it AGAIN."

She will call YOU back after her meeting

Tell me where you were ever in control here?

The ball was always in her court my friend the day you started emailing for 2 weeks.

Should of set up a date long time ago

Lose lips sink ships. Email TExt and phone will kill it. Use the phone to only set up dates.

Now its obvious she doesn't want to do lunch. To me Lunch is boring and predictable. All you are going to do is watch each other eat then talk some more. BORING!! She can do that over the net emailing you.

Try setting up a date after work hours and do an ACTION Date. Do something that requires less talking more action and touching and just having fun.

To me setting up lunch date during lunchtime will increase your chance of rejection or cancellation. Save those dates for your GF.

Besides shouldn't you be at work too bro?

Personally I like to eat alone and lost in my own thoughts. Helps me to be relax, be at peace, and lunchtime doesn't go so fast.

Anyways bro, next time try to keep the ball in your court as much as possible.

Hey, man. I suggested we get together. She suggested lunch. I told her the date. She works in a law firm and does not really have control over whether or not she has to work through lunch.

But you're right - I guess I could have suggested something post-work. I don't think she was really prepared to do something with a commitment though, and neither am I. Lunch seemed optimal and still does. We both work in the city so "getting together for lunch" is a pretty common occurance.

Anyway, I had her pretty-well mesmerized with me, even over E-mail, so I think there must have been a legit reason.

Next time I will try to be more "in control" but I really do feel that I had this situation in my court until the end when she said she'd have to call me back.

Dammit...

~Vibe~

 

[Schlep]

If the situation were ever in your court, she would've called back and would've given you her phone number instead of her email address. Then you get the second biggest blowoff to an email address, a work phone number. Stop and think.

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Re: Re: Re: So she blew me off...

My man, suggesting getting together is a woman’s thing.

If that was I I would of done something different. Lets say now just off the top of my head of how I would have done it. I would of Called her Weds night10mins before 10pm

(usually people are home not really doing anything at that day on that hour)

and fluff talk a little while then tell her that I'm going bowling with a couple of friends and I think you should come. It would be fun. Easy as that.

Remember A Man is supposed to know When, What, and Where you are going to do for a date. Some may argue differently however majority of the times that’s how it’s done.

Another thing

Originally posted by Vibe

But you're right - I guess I could have suggested something post-work. I don't think she was really prepared to do something with a commitment though, and neither am I. Lunch seemed optimal and still does. We both work in the city so "getting together for lunch" is a pretty common occurance.

Thinking isn’t Knowing.

You have no idea what that girl is thinking or feeling. You can only assume. And you know what they say about people who assume.

Now with the lunch thing. The reason why I scream boring is well to me it just is but more importantly she more likely goes on lunch dates with lots of clients and co-workers. There’s nothing special about that. 2nd, Lunch dates or coffee breaks are great if, you just met. You have already establish a good report with this girl so I think getting to know her coffee or lunch dates are kind of dumb. Do something fun.

Hey man aren't you tired of just talking to this so called HB10?

Don't you want to touch that soft tight body?

Or do you just want to look at it and talk to her?

Then do something with her that doesn't revolve around just talking.

 

[Vibe]

Re: Re: Re: Re: So she blew me off...

Originally posted by OneArmDeeJay

Remember A Man is supposed to know When, What, and Where you are going to do for a date. Some may argue differently however majority of the times that’s how it’s done.

Touche

Another thing

Thinking isn’t Knowing.

You have no idea what that girl is thinking or feeling. You can only assume. And you know what they say about people who assume.

Now with the lunch thing. The reason why I scream boring is well to me it just is but more importantly she more likely goes on lunch dates with lots of clients and co-workers. There’s nothing special about that. 2nd, Lunch dates or coffee breaks are great if, you just met. You have already establish a good report with this girl so I think getting to know her coffee or lunch dates are kind of dumb. Do something fun.

The thing is - I don't know her. I met her for like six minutes on the metro. Yeah, I was a little intimidated by her beauty so I asked for her E-mail instead of her number. That was probably my first mistake. But after that, I pretty much lead her. Seriously, I know I am pretty much the sh*t. I am interesting and witty and she knew it just as well as I did.

Here, let me post our E-mail interactions. Maybe you will have more insight into them than I did...



Subject: We're not just cool. We're Metro-cool

HB,

I met you on the metro the other day. You got my approval. I got your E-mail address. It was a brilliant set of circumstances.

Anyway, I'd say we'd both be remiss not to hang out.

So let's make that happen.

~Vibe

P.S. I think you said you work at a law firm? What exactly do you do there?

---------------------------------------------

Subject: A New Friend...

Hey There...

What an interesting person you must be...That was quite a subject line...Furthermore, it is obvious that you are an intelligent person based upon your short but sweet email. I agree...Maybe we could do lunch.

I am a paralegal...With the hopes of attending law school next fall. I am taking the LSAT in December so I am studying hard and praying for success. So what kind of graphic design work are you into...I mean you work at the ******...I am curious how your work relates to what the orgainzation is all about...


HB

-------------------------------

Hey,

Let me break down that first line into its basic bits.

Interesting...maybe. Intelligent...possibly. Short...some say so. Sweet...definitely.

As for lunch - that sounds good. What do you think about sometime next week? Do you get to eat lunch on Wednesdays?

A paralegal, eh? And you still manage to get up every morning? Where are you thinking of going to school? What kind of law do you want to do?

I do all sorts of design work. Web stuff, print stuff, propaganda, personals ads for the officers (they get lonely). Basically if anything needs to be designed within the department of homeland security, it is up to me to make that happen. I like working at the ******** but I mainly do it to finance other ventures that are more palatable to my emotional tastes.

So paralegal work isn't ALL you do is it? There must be something more to Nydia?

~Vibe

-----------------------------

Sure..I eat lunch most days...But every now and then I have to work through lunch because the attorneys I work for are crazy. Like last week Tuesday when I sat at my desk doing absolutely nothing until 12:10, when suddenly I am assigned this huge project that needed to be completed and ready for the last FedEx round at 6:30...So I did not go to lunch and I was at work until....you guessed it 6:30...So unless I am assigned something right before lunch...We are on for Wednesday.

My dream school is American...GW is a close runner up...Then of course I have two safety schools that I would be happy to attend but does not have all of the electives I am looking for...Howard and UMD. I want to study Humanitarian and Human Rights Law or International and Comparative Law....Both of these are very similar courses of study and would allow me to focus on Human Rights or Immigration Law...after I pass the BAR!!!!!

So not only are you a web designer...It seems that you are a matchmaker of sorts...What are these other ventures....Do you like to travel....Do you like to eat at fancy schmancy restaurants.... (I think she is trying to qualify me here!)

Yah...I guess you can say that I am a little eccentric...I love to read and usually read a book a week. My undergraduate degree was in Anthropology, so I spend a lot of time reading about other cultures and books on the sociological perspective...I also frequent the museums...I love them and hey...you can't beat the fact that they are FREE!!!!! Don't get me wrong...I am still a bit of a wild child and love to party...But I guess you can say that I have always been pretty serious about educating myself.

Anyhow...enough about me.....Where did you go to undergrad...What did you study...Tell me more...

HB

-----------------------------

Yeah, there is nothing worse that a bunch of erratic lawyers. With all their stupid evidence...and loopholes...

Okay, I will see you Wednesday. I say we meet at L'enfant plaza? That is right between both of us.

American, you say? My Aunt went there. She got bored of it because it's apparently very cut off from everything. But she was an undergrad so it was different. Speaking of which, where did you get your undergrad degree?

My "ventures" deal mostly with creative work for various non-profit (human rights!) organizations, social experiments through print, and whatever else happens to strike my fancy at that moment.

As far as traveling - yes, you could say I'm a bit of a wanderer...but that's not the half of it. Perhaps I can be convinced to go into a little more detail over lunch.

Mmm...you love the museums, eh? Now you're definitely earning some points. I live for the museums! Which are your favourites? I admit I'd have trouble choosing.

Ahhh! Now it comes out! You're a wild child! You know - I should have known. I meet this sweet, innocent-looking woman on the metro and of course she turns out to be a bad girl. I was warned to stay away from people on the metro....and I decided to take a chance on you. Oh well - I suppose I can give you a chance. But I'm warning you! You'd better be good!

I did my undergrad at College Park. See, as a young kid I wanted to be a molecular biologist. Then, during high school, I moved my aspirations to becoming a veterinarian (I loved animals). Somewhere during that time, I managed to become a computer guru so I figured I'd go into computer science. I did that for two years in college, but one day after a very strange night, I realized that I was in the wrong place. I had to be doing something that really fed my spirit. So I did what I'd truly wanted to do all along. I became an art student and went into design. It was the best decision I ever made and I couldn't be happier. A lot of people in life will tell you not to put your dreams on hold while at the same time they are pushing you in directions that don't mesh with what you want to do. You know the feeling when you create something for the first time? It's yours. It has never been created before and it's different from anything anybody has ever seen. It's almost like when two people get together and find an emotional connection that they know is completely different from anything anyone else has ever experienced. When they are around each other, there is a special energy that seems to exist only as a combination of their forces. That's how I feel about work - that's how it should make you feel. Every aspect of your life should be leading to this great culmination of energy...do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt that way?

~Vibe

-----------------------------------

Ok...I think I can manage that...Where will be go for lunch...I really cant be missing for too long so lets make it somewhere near the station.

I went to Rollins College in Winter Park,FL. Lots of people have never heard of it, but it is a really good school and ultra competetive...The funny thing is...My junior year it was voted the #3 Party School in Playboy so the school has kind of been stuck with that label ever since......

Yeah...I love th musuem for sure...My favorite is definetly Natural History...What can I say...My undergrad degree was in Anthropology so I am in love with the exhibits in that musuem.....

I totally understand your desire to work and love what you do...That is how I feel....I just want to be happy...Money is nice, but I would be happy with whatever I am paid, as long as I get to help others with my law degree....Lots of people poo on Public Interest Attorney's...they make the least amount of money...But they have the biggest sense of satisfaction! Maybe you should call me at my office tomorrow so we can set a time for lunch...***-***-****.

HB



So I realize I lost my control in the last E-mail for sure. But I was dumb for not setting a time initially, thus avoiding having to call her. I dunno - I thought I did alright. The E-mailing was partially for actually getting her to be into me, but also an experiment to see if any of the stuff I know works one-on-one (the suggestive NLP, teasing, etc) will also work through E-mail. Remember - this is all a game!

But yes - it would be nice to taste this girl...god...she's so hot.

Anyway, I know I lost it in a few other places. But I think there was some good stuff in there too. I especially think that last thing about "energy" would have worked nicely if I'd saved it for one-on-one.

Ah well -

~Vibe~

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

WOW. That’s a lot of writing. Listen bro I’ve been there and done that and let me tell you it doesn't work. Emailing and Texting just kills the mystery. I thought being all intellectual that I am and being a little C&F and sweet would work but naw. It didn't. Now there are a few people on this earth that will say emailing works for them. Well that’s good for them but for the rest of us we know that lose lips sink ships.

Save all that talk when you’re on the date when you want to pass time or in the car.

Besides you can't truly know a person just by writing emails you need to be with that person.

Also I don't think any seduction techniques are going to work thru email or text. The words that she reads are just that. There are no feelings or emphasis when reading email. No warmth or heavy eye contact aka MAVEC being made when uttering them.

Writing all those seduction techniques are going to hurt you more then help you.

But hey you live in learn. There are tons of hotties out there and who knows all may not be lost with this chick. But don't put all your eggs in one basket just keep her on the back burner and go meet other women.

 

[AIR-PILOT]

This is why
I AM AGAINST, EMAIL AND SMS CHAT.

 

[Vibe]

F*ckin right, guys.

Seriously, I am just experimenting. She may be hot but she is just another woman. There are so many. That's the best part.

So whatever - it was worth the failure just to experiment with it.

Thanks, fellas. I appreciate your comments.

~Vibe~

 

[mrRuckus]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: So she blew me off...

Originally posted by Vibe
Touche



The thing is - I don't know her. I met her for like six minutes on the metro. Yeah, I was a little intimidated by her beauty so I asked for her E-mail instead of her number. That was probably my first mistake. But after that, I pretty much lead her. Seriously, I know I am pretty much the sh*t. I am interesting and witty and she knew it just as well as I did.

Here, let me post our E-mail interactions. Maybe you will have more insight into them than I did...



Subject: We're not just cool. We're Metro-cool

HB,

I met you on the metro the other day. You got my approval. I got your E-mail address. It was a brilliant set of circumstances.

Anyway, I'd say we'd both be remiss not to hang out.

So let's make that happen.

~Vibe

No offense, but you need to seriously cut out the cheese of your emails... and the purposeful use of big words.


"You got my approval?" Woops, the second sentence you already made her stop needing to earn your approval.

"Remiss?!" Who the hell talks like that?

I'd have started off the email something like this:

"Hey, i managed to read your chicken scratch and type in your email address. Anyway, I'm the guy you kept bugging on the metro. You really should watch that, you know. Lots of creeps out there like me... err, i mean.. nice guys! Good thing your mom never taught you not to talk to strangers..." Then act like normal person.

To me that sounds kind of annoying, but for whatever reason sending messages like that has always worked gold for me. I'm a weirdo, though, and was once shot down by a girl i dated a couple times because "you're too weird."

 

[Vibe]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: So she blew me off...

Originally posted by mrRuckus
No offense, but you need to seriously cut out the cheese of your emails... and the purposeful use of big words.


"You got my approval?" Woops, the second sentence you already made her stop needing to earn your approval.

"Remiss?!" Who the hell talks like that?

I'd have started off the email something like this:

"Hey, i managed to read your chicken scratch and type in your email address. Anyway, I'm the guy you kept bugging on the metro. You really should watch that, you know. Lots of creeps out there like me... err, i mean.. nice guys! Good thing your mom never taught you not to talk to strangers..." Then act like normal person.

To me that sounds kind of annoying, but for whatever reason sending messages like that has always worked gold for me. I'm a weirdo, though, and was once shot down by a girl i dated a couple times because "you're too weird."

I actually talk like that. All the time. That's just my vernacular. Sometimes I think maybe people think I do it on purpose but I think it's just a result of reading a lot.

Anyway, you're right. Like I said, I was just experimenting. I like your style. good call on that. Yeah, I have gotten that "you're too weird" line too.

Yeah, and good call on the "approval" line. I hadn't thought of that. I gave it to her initially. Dammit.

I really don't like using E-mail but I figured I'd give it a shot with this one. I generally just don't use it. I am much better on the phone.

Thanks for the comments.

~Vibe~