so need some help with that age-old question

[garruk]

so i have a little problem, and when i think about it, this form of problem really comes up all the effin time (at least for me) and id really like some help.

current problem:
ok, so theres a chick who digs me. but i noobed it (just started reading about all this DJ stuff recently so im still really new) by acting too slow. we were really flirty for about 2 months and it was finally starting to go somwhere until 2 weeks ago some other guy jumps into the picture. and now im left with this problem. im pretty sure this girl still likes me (though i dont know who she likes more). obviously, i really need to make a move, but how do i do so without coming off as needy?

with situations like this in general:
how do you go forward, say asking a chick to do something without coming off as desperate? suppose i ask a girl to hang out and she legitamtely cant (maybe her house blew up and she wants to find her cat in the salvage), when i ask a second time, doesnt that sound kinda desperate? i dunno, like i said, im new at this and im stilling trying to piece stuff together.

all help would be great, and i have read the bible, but it doesnt seem to really adress the problem here.

 

[Igetit!]

To be honest with you,I don't completely understand what it is that you're asking. But from what I do understand,you said that the two of you have been firting for two months. Mistake number one right there. It would be helpful to know exactly what the two of you do when you flirt,what you say and talk about,and how often the two of you talk to each other.
If you could answer these questions as accurately as possible,it would shed a little more light on what's going on. Also,how did you find out about this "new" guy? Did she tell you,or someone else?

 

[garruk]

hmm, well first to clarify, i have this current dilemma which is acutally a perfect example of many similar problems that ive had to face.

so my question with this current problem is: how do i move forward wihtout seeming desperate?

well, for the last 2 months, we had our eye contact, got touchy feely at parties, pretty much just small stuff. more recently (last 2 weeks) shes sat on my lap a few times, and we've sorta cuddled (i hate that word) on the couch at a party once as well. i say "sorta" because it wasnt really full on, if that makes sense.

and i heard about this new guy from a common friend, who almost laughed when she told me by saying "you were too slow".

 

[bam bam]

Garruk,

What you need to do is get out there and pickup woman. If you want to make this one more interested in you then you have to show her a reason that she should be. Woman always have other men in their lives you’ll never be with a woman who has no men in her life asides from you until you guys decide to go exclusive and even then there will be plenty of guys who will test her loyalty to you.

If you want to pay more interest to her then start talking to her more and get yourself a hang out session together. Got for a walk in the park or just do something chilled out together. I don’t know if you have her number or not or u only talk to her when you see her at school so it’s a bit difficult to give advice with such a vague explanation of your interaction with her. You’ve told us of about 4 things you guys have done together at parties. It’s not that un-common for woman to be flirty at parties and to see how many men they can have chasing them.

What I suggest is don’t bother chasing this one at all because you’ll end up like a hump. Get yourself another woman or two in your life and bring them with you to the parties. Watch then how nicely she’s going to give you a lot more attention than that.

If you want to ask her to hang out just make sure your not asking from a desperate place inside you. Your asking her like you’d ask a buddy to go hang out sometimes.

Hope that helped if you have any more questions feel free to ask

 

[Igetit!]

This friend of yours who "almost laughed" at you was right. Flirting and playing around for two months? My guess would be that you're most in the friendzone. So signs of friendzone are:The two of you talking to each other everyday,or every other day,talking about "deep"/emotional issues,like her telling you about problems in her life,and her telling you about her problems with other guys she's dating or thinking about dating. If any of these things are happening,you're in the friendzone,and it's already over with.

More than likely,in the beginning she was attracted to you,but when things started to drags on,eventually since you never made a more to ask her out,she got used to you being the way you were and just figured you weren't interested. Two months is too long. One month is too long. Three weeks is too long. If you're interested in a woman,you need to let her know up front.
If you don't,she'll just assume that you're not interested,then she'll automatically put you into the frienzone.

As you can see,this other guy just showed up two weeks ago,and he ALREADY is further along in dating her than you are,even though you have known her longer.

You want to know how to move forward without semming desperate. Simple,ask her out. But don't say,"Do you wanna go out sometime?",let her know about something or some place you had ALREADY planned on going,then invite her to come along.

But more than likely,if any of those things I described about the friendzone are currently happening,or had happened,then it's already over with,and you should just move on.