"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

So, my plan.

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
I'm going around europe working in bars/cafés, gonna learn the art. After I'm gonna start up my own café in Cambridge which I'm going to make an extention of my own personality- a place where cool people meet up, where you can have an interesting conversation and where thoughts flow easily. That's my vision. It'll be a nexus through which everyone who I consider cool in the town would eventually end up passing through, not to mention the students of the universities.

My parents, needless to say, are freaking. I'm getting quite a few interesting reactions. My neighbours spent the afternoon trying to "prove" to me that starting up a business was impossible -- wtf! How do businesses exist then!

The starting up capital is going to be an issue. I'm looking at various ways of tackling the problem -- investment? Borrowing - from whom? Or making it myself? So I'll need to do other business beforehand and live way below my means, I suppose.

I'm making it up as I go along :D
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2004
Messages
1,349
Reaction score
11
Location
Nottingham
Aight, first piece of advice, bars/restaurants are notoriously difficult businesses to turn a profit.

Second, why Cambridge? It's a kind of poncy town, a much better idea would be in one of the bigger party cities (Notts :D, Birmingham, Leeds etc. . .), which all have more students (and people on nights out) than Cambridge. Also more likely to be cheaper up north.

Starting capital - How much do you need? This might decide your course of action, although I'd be leaning towards bank loans (less hassle FINDING investors, and then giving over a % of your business (personally, taking such a risk with my cash, I'd want no lower than 40%))
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
WesCottII said:
Aight, first piece of advice, bars/restaurants are notoriously difficult businesses to turn a profit.

Second, why Cambridge? It's a kind of poncy town, a much better idea would be in one of the bigger party cities (Notts :D, Birmingham, Leeds etc. . .), which all have more students (and people on nights out) than Cambridge. Also more likely to be cheaper up north.

Starting capital - How much do you need? This might decide your course of action, although I'd be leaning towards bank loans (less hassle FINDING investors, and then giving over a % of your business (personally, taking such a risk with my cash, I'd want no lower than 40%))
Cambridge is my home town and I know it, that's all. I know for a fact that there's a niche there for what I have in mind. That said, that specific detail is not cast in stone........

Starting capital.. I figure at least two months' rent of the place, giving one month to do it up, find workers, and then a month to start the cashflow. That would be being optimistic, perhaps double that; I'd like to have some padding anyway (murphy's law: it always costs more than you think it'll cost).

Average rental in cambridge is 650 pound according to a site I just checked out. So taking this as a vague guideline -- make that 1000, I'll be more central than average I expect -- 4000

....add start up costs, furniture etc:

say..

10,000

let that be my goal..........
 

3countriesPlan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
671
Reaction score
29
Location
Beijing/Seoul/Portland
you should write up a detailed business plan to help organize this. if you don't know how to write one go to the library and check out a book that teaches you how to write one step by step.
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
3countriesPlan said:
you should write up a detailed business plan to help organize this. if you don't know how to write one go to the library and check out a book that teaches you how to write one step by step.
Fixed planning is too restrictive, IMO. It's not really my modus operandi.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Señor Fingers

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2003
Messages
760
Reaction score
61
Location
Wherever I am.
Unless you have business training of some kind, then learning to put together a CONCISE plan is actually not a bad idea.

A rough sketch is all you need to start. Then you just whittle away, getting creative and shaping it like clay into what you want. Let all the things that annoy you on the job serve as field notes for future improvement/innovation. Keep mental note of the ways in which people promote and capitalize on their services.

A smart move would also be to talk to any accountant/attorney friends you may have. Pick their brains a bit. There are all sorts of loopholes they can let you in on, especially if you plan on hiring foreigners.

In the meantime, your present idea is very sound. Bartenders can get work anywhere in the world and you can get paid while absorbing the mechanics of how things work. This is totally doable if you want it enough.

In case it does pop off, I expect a VIP invitation when you open the first Gubby's!
 

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2004
Messages
1,349
Reaction score
11
Location
Nottingham
Gubby said:
Cambridge is my home town and I know it, that's all. I know for a fact that there's a niche there for what I have in mind. That said, that specific detail is not cast in stone........

Starting capital.. I figure at least two months' rent of the place, giving one month to do it up, find workers, and then a month to start the cashflow. That would be being optimistic, perhaps double that; I'd like to have some padding anyway (murphy's law: it always costs more than you think it'll cost).

Average rental in cambridge is 650 pound according to a site I just checked out. So taking this as a vague guideline -- make that 1000, I'll be more central than average I expect -- 4000

....add start up costs, furniture etc:

say..

10,000

let that be my goal..........
My bad, I always assumed you were Spanish. I was trying to give a Northerns humble opinon :D

Don't forget licsences/taxes/stocks ect, I think 10grand is pretty optomistic (not that I'm trying to be an arse, just trying to be realistic).

Give us your cashflow, that'll help us help you.
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
WesCottII said:
My bad, I always assumed you were Spanish. I was trying to give a Northerns humble opinon :D

Don't forget licsences/taxes/stocks ect, I think 10grand is pretty optomistic (not that I'm trying to be an arse, just trying to be realistic).
No worries, the voice of reasonableness/moderation is good to hear....... certainly wouldn't hear it from myself :D

(Well I err on the side of recklessness, anyway. But I'd rather not err at all of course:D)

Give us your cashflow, that'll help us help you.
Cashflow? Right now? Zero. I just quit school. I live with my parents right now.

I have a site which has 30 visitors a day, stagnating a bit, which I'm doing up now. With a weekly updating I intend to get some cashflow out of that. My writing skills are excellent, I definitely plan on publishing a few books (I make ideas faster than I write lol). And I've been searching for bartendering jobs around here. I'm also toying with the idea of teaching english, though we'll just have to see my timetable when I find a job.
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
Señor Fingers said:
Unless you have business training of some kind, then learning to put together a CONCISE plan is actually not a bad idea.

A rough sketch is all you need to start. Then you just whittle away, getting creative and shaping it like clay into what you want. Let all the things that annoy you on the job serve as field notes for future improvement/innovation. Keep mental note of the ways in which people promote and capitalize on their services.

A smart move would also be to talk to any accountant/attorney friends you may have. Pick their brains a bit. There are all sorts of loopholes they can let you in on, especially if you plan on hiring foreigners.

In the meantime, your present idea is very sound. Bartenders can get work anywhere in the world and you can get paid while absorbing the mechanics of how things work. This is totally doable if you want it enough.
Thanks for the advice and encouragement -- that attorney tip I'll definately have to look into. What was this about employing foreigners? Can I save money somehow like that?

In case it does pop off, I expect a VIP invitation when you open the first Gubby's!
*salutes* :D I'm sure you'll be a one to appreciate gubby's special blend and style of customer service!

Our slogan: "We're better than Starbucks"
 

SalParadise

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
61
Reaction score
1
Age
39
Location
UK
"We're better than Starbucks"
Oh come on, Gubby, aim higher than that! ;)
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2004
Messages
1,349
Reaction score
11
Location
Nottingham
My bad again, I meant Cashflow forecast.

It's a grand idea, and I'll always tip my hat to anyone that ventures into business.

P.s "We're better than starbucks" won't be allowed by standards and trading :p.
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
WesCottII said:
My bad again, I meant Cashflow forecast.

It's a grand idea, and I'll always tip my hat to anyone that ventures into business.

P.s "We're better than starbucks" won't be allowed by standards and trading :p.
Cashflow forecast? Don't know yet. I rent a place, get some nakama (comrades) to share the work, buy foods, sell foods: then I see if I go bust or if I get to keep on injecting awesomeness into the general city vibe.

I think I'll divide the ownership of the company between the nakama -- giving me a symbolic extra 1% share -- so that wages are dependent on profits, but so that they share in the rewards of success - after all, they'll be participating in risk just like me to work for a starting company. And I hate hierarchy. This café will be a revolutionary act in a way: in that I will show the "System" that I don't buy their bullshi't.

Excess jargon p'isses me off, it stops you seeing things for what they are.
 

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2004
Messages
1,349
Reaction score
11
Location
Nottingham
Souds mighty like commuinism to me :up:

Seriously though, sounds like a cracking idea, just might have to keep it stum, because in England you HAVE to pay minimum wage innit.

You'll need a cashflow forecast if you go to the bank for a loan FYI, but I'll shut up shooting every idea down now :D.
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
Lol! really? So what, I'm meant to guess what happens to my money before it happens? That's easy! I'm gonna get RICH!:D

How about this:

CASHFLOW FORECAST

Money in: 20,000 quid

Money out: TEN MILLION QUID
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

sam3083

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2007
Messages
232
Reaction score
2
Finally, I have a reason to go to Europe, lol. Look forward to coming to your cafe in the not-to-distant future.

What's your site Gubby? I'm rather interested in checking it out, and doing whatever I can for ya. :up:
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
sam3083 said:
Finally, I have a reason to go to Europe, lol. Look forward to coming to your cafe in the not-to-distant future.

What's your site Gubby? I'm rather interested in checking it out, and doing whatever I can for ya. :up:
My sites are www.roma-nova.net and www.andrewgubb.com .

Romanova is a rather new experiment, while andrewgubb.com (I only recently bought the domain name) is the one that's been gaining traffic despite my utter negligence.

If you're web-savvy, I'm sure I could use some help mate! :D
 
Top