So my ex calls me out of the blue...and I tell my g/f

[WillieSacks]

you might remember my crazy ex from some of these posts

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=89374

and this one right here

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90658

as you could have seen, I was really in psychotic mode back then but time has healed all the wounds and I'm completely over my ex.

Anyway so a week ago my ex texts me from t-mobile.com, saying "call me da*n it" I didn't know who it was sinceit was from tmobile.com.

a couple of days later my suspicions were confirmed when my ex texts me (i haven't talked to the biitch in 7 months and we haven't been on good terms in over a year) she asked if this was my phone b/c my phone was off for 2 months and she tried calling when my phone was off.

So I text back saying "yeah, this is 'willie' who is this", she texts back saying her name with a smiley face.

Anyway she calls and I answer and we talk for about 20 minutes, she was talking about how she thinks about me everyday and she tried calling a few months ago but my phone was off and how she was sorry for everything but I'm in a better situation or whatever.

So she asks if she can call me again, I tell her that I live with my g/f and it wouldn't be a good idea, she says she's free around 4 and she'll call me, I say whatever and hang up, she called and left some b/s message and texted me a couple of more times but I never answered.

...but here's where it gets good. I tell my g/f that my ex called me, she asks me if I answered and I say yeah and she gets pissed off saying "after all weve been through bla bla bla, and starts saying some hurtful things.

I'm like "girl I was tell ing you because I havenothing to hide and I didn't want you to think we were talking again, she doesn't want to hear it saying I could have ignored the call and now I'm back talking to my ex, I'm like wtf. And she is really pissed off.

I kind of wish I didn't say anything. I ask a few guys about it and they say that I didn't do anything wrong and she's in the wrong for getting pissed.

I then ask a good friend of mine who is a lady who is 34 and she says, "why the hell did you tell your g/f that" she didn't have to know that. She said girls say all the time for you to be truthful and honest with them and tell them everything but they don't mean it, she said I should have kept that stuff to myself. She also said that my girl is being young and immature getting upset over nothing, she said that when she was 21 she would have done the same thing but not now.

So what do you guys think, should I have just kept it to myself or did I do the right thing in telling my girl that my ex called me.

P.s. Why do you guys think she would call me out of the blue. I told my boy that she just wants some diik (am I correct), when I told my ex that I would tell me girl she called she told me not to.

 

[penkitten]

she called because she is bored and lonely.
dont worry about it.

telling your gf isnt awful, but might lead to trust issues. i think its very honest to tell someone so the trust is better, but most females will start to think you are cheating left and right just cause some old flame called one time.

 

[superchristx]

You shouldn't talk to your ex. You shouldn't feel guilty about doing it, if you happen to talk to her. You shouldn't tell your GF that you talked to her, unless she asks. You shouldn't lie about it, or anything. You shouldn't tolerate your GF acting like a b*tch, even though you obviously provoked her (maybe you weren't conciously trying to make her jealous.) Take a hard-line stance, never getting emotional, never apologising, always avoiding drama.

It doesn't matter why your ex called you. Either A) She uses you for an ego boost (which is b*ll**** drama) or B) She wants you back (also b*ll**** drama.) Is this the same girl who was forwarding your text messages to her friend? If so, she is a snake, not trustworthy, you don't want her to get near you. She has/will betray(ed) you.

 

[resilient]

You know what's even more creepier? Prank calls from the ex out of the blue. Mine started being consistant when I didn't answer so I said F*** it, and changed my cell#. haha... Living well is the best revenge! :woo:

 

[mrRuckus]

Going to be blunt.


Are you retarded?

You last posted about this 5 or 6 months ago. She caused a bunch of ****. You were supposed to have learned your lesson. And here you are having 20 minute discussions with someone you claimed butt fcuked you. Now she's causing trouble in your current relationship. If i were your girl i'd be annoyed to. What the hell can you possibly get out of talking to your ex?

 

[WillieSacks]

Listen here ruckus, I ain't talking to her, she called me one time and I answered the phone, more out of curiosity than anything, when I saw the number I was like "WTF", I am not "talking" to my ex.

If anything, I got the closure I needed by her calling me trying to be friends you know what I mean, kind of like an ego boost of some sorts, she called and apologized and said she missed me and explained everything and I'm like "whatever", yeah it makes me feel good so I'm not "talking" to my ex as you put it, now if I were calling her back and texting back and forth, then you would have a valid point...


and you know what, I think my ex is calling me from blocked numbers because I told her about me living with my girl and all of a sudden I'm getting calls from blocked numbers which I havent answered.

Christ, that s what really hurt when she was going back to her friends forwarding what I said, she claimed that "she was feeling the pressure of her marriage failing her and she was just stressed out so she did it" whatever, bull$hit.

 

[resilient]

Willie, my ex called from blocked #s too all the time when she tried to reiniate contact because she heard through the grapevine that I had a new g/f. Just let that roll off the side.

Who was it... Pook? who said dogs are the loudest when they are the lonliest and it is also said to be true about women.

 

[WillieSacks]

my biggest hangup though is from what penkitten said, why would the girl have trust issues if you are telling them the truth, it's like a no win situation, you tell your girl your ex calls you, she (like my girl) gets pissed off and now suspects me of talking to her all the time, I don't tell my girl (which I did in the past) my girl finds out through the grapevine and then it's even worse. What is up with women.

I think she's blocking her number b/c I told her I live with my girl, she doesn't want my girl answering and cursing her out, hence her texting me from tmobile.com instead of from her phone.

 

[MacAvoy]

my biggest hangup though is why would the girl have trust issues if you are telling them the truth, it's like a no win situation, you tell your girl your ex calls you, she (like my girl) gets pissed off and now suspects me of talking to her all the time, I don't tell my girl (which I did in the past) my girl finds out through the grapevine and then it's even worse. What is up with women.

Because women are not rational beings. Its that simple. First you shouldn't have answered the call, second it wasn't important in the scheme of things to tell her. More importantly a DJ wouldn't have allowed his g/f to get the upper hand in a conversation the way she did.

 

[WillieSacks]

Don't worry, she didn't. I told her we needed to break up 2 days ago and she changed her mind about being upset at me and instead said she was more upset with the situation and my ex instead of with me (she started backpedaling once she found out how pissed I was at her for being upset at me). She said she wasn't ready to break up with me and we talked about it but the ball is and always be in my court baby.

 

[penkitten]

my biggest hangup though is from what penkitten said, why would the girl have trust issues if you are telling them the truth, it's like a no win situation, you tell your girl your ex calls you, she (like my girl) gets pissed off and now suspects me of talking to her all the time, I don't tell my girl (which I did in the past) my girl finds out through the grapevine and then it's even worse. What is up with women.

I think she's blocking her number b/c I told her I live with my girl, she doesn't want my girl answering and cursing her out, hence her texting me from tmobile.com instead of from her phone.

because we are this way. we get our panties in a wad and stew in things.

the ex needs to be told by you to stop calling.

 

[Cod3r]

Just because I've learned from previous relationships...

Tell them bvtches everything

Might suck in the short-term, but in the long-term you save yourself alot of aggravation. I had a gf about 3 years ago and was talking to some other female just casually but no cheating, she'd call me and I was doing nothing wrong by talking to her (she was a friend basically) She'd call me when I was with my girl and I'd say I couldn't talk and my girl would ask... "who is that ?" and I'd lie just to keep her from getting angry and asking me more questions cuz she was the jealous type...

Well one day, since my ex was crazy... she did some detective work and found out it was another female and flipped out on me... 3 months of hell after that mannn, gawwd. I could have told her I had a female friend and listened to crap about it for about 2 days and then whatever, but instead I tried to cover up for HER good and got 3 months of agony and utter hell... be truthful, trust me...

--
Current situation, I wanted to learn Japanese to be able to impress and say cute things to my current gf (she's japanese) and so I started taking lessons from a previous Japanese girl that I had had relations with (not best idea). Ended up seeing the conflict of interest and decided to tell my gf that I was meeting with her and that I decided to stop since I thought it was wrong and disrespectful to her... no more questions since I said anything, she admits she thinks about it more, but happy in the long-run since I told her and she basically trusts me 100%...

I show my gf everytime this girl calls to the point my gf is just like, "ok ok, I don't need to see every call" i'm 100% open, things have a way of following you around... don't lie even to benefit the girl if you aren't doing anything wrong, never never lie... it'll cause more headache later... Trust me please


-Cod3r

 

[mrRuckus]

I could have told her I had a female friend and listened to crap about it for about 2 days and then whatever, but instead I tried to cover up for HER good and got 3 months of agony and utter hell... be truthful, trust me...

You're right for the wrong reasons.

Why do you let her give you 3 months of hell? It should've lasted about 5 minutes where you put your foot down and say stop it i haven't done anything.


And yes you should have told her to begin with.

her: "who called?"
you: "my friend."
her: "who?"
you: say girl's name
her: hissy fit
you: i'm not dating her or fvcking her so i've done no wrong so drop it
her: but... blah blah
you: are you accusing me of something?
her: "well, no..." or "should i be?"
you: "ok good then so we're dropping it" or "i'm not under interrogation. drop it."

Don't fall into the trap of reassurance or it'll happen all the time. "oh no baby i would nevverrr look at another girl blah blah you so pretttyyyy"

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I totally agree with Mr.Ruckus. You seem to be lacking in the common sense department. Honesty is a great policy to have, especially in a relationship. No one likes a liar, BUT and its a big one, there are TONS of things that are better left unsaid. Your gf has every right to flip out at you for talking to your ex, because any form of communication between an ex means that there is the POSSIBILITY that you could be tempted to cheat or leave your current gf if things aren't going well for your psycho ex.

Learn to differeniate between honesty and common sense.



PIMP