So Muscular Men Are Only Good for Flings and Short-Term Relationships

[Frank2500]

It's really disappointing to notice the various stages and levels that the superficial and shallow aspects of dating in America tend to take. When it comes to dating, all men and women seem to have to fit a "type," and are quickly put in boxes...judged for the most part on the basis of ******d apperance.


This shouldn't be new to most of you on here. A few months ago, Yahoo posted an article about how most women seem to prefer muscular/well-built men just for short-term relationships and flings, while the much skinnier guys are selected for marriage, romance and longterm relationships. NBC's The Today Show actually did a special report on that topic yesterday morning, and perhaps some of you might have seen it. One woman was shown a picture of a very muscular dude (well, that one might have been a bit too muscular-looked like he was on steroids-a bit too big) and she told the interviewer that she often perceives really muscular guys as meat heads.



Yet, I doubt how accurate this entire report may be, because if that were the case, very few muscular men would be getting married, although part of the report stated that a lot of women seem to think muscular men are more likely to cheat on their spouses and for some reason are not as good in terms of romance and communication as their skinny counterparts.


So what's a man got to do? During my skinny days, many women here in the U.S. didn't respect me. Rarely did I even get a second look from most of them. It was only the really open-minded and intellectual ones who did. I was of course frequently passed over and put in the "nice guy" box, the guy they found physically unattractive and nothing more than "just a friend." I was the guy who they couldn't trust to be their protector and provider, someone on whose shoulders they could lean in time of distress.


Now, I have seemed to improve quite a lot in the physical domain and appear to be getting much attention, even from some of the women who didn't give me the time of day back then...although I wonder if these looks are the kind that would suggest interest in possibly getting together for a mere fling and not a relationship. The one thing I appreciate in all of this is that I no longer look like a guy who any woman would think she can disrespect verbally or just talk to anyhow. One of my good friends who currently resides in Europe, and who attended college with me during my undergraduate days, came to the U.S. recently on vacation. One day when we were in his car, he said to me: "When you were skinny, you used to walk very slow. Now I see that you walk faster and with much confidence. During your skinny days, I'm sure many women used to look at you and say to themselves, 'I could just push this fellow with my hand or blow some air at him from my mouth and he'd fall so hard.'"


At the end of the Today Show report on the topic in question, the skinny guy who was the subject of the piece vowed never to hit the gym again after finding out that most women seem to prefer skinny men for longterm relationships. What are your thoughts? As for me, I will never stop working out. Never.

 

[st_99]

My opinion is that its all crap.

Thats like saying a girl with a smoke'n body is strictly fling material and the
fat chicks are for marrying.

I'd say most of the girls that are part of these studies are probably very average at best, if not fat. Of course they are going to think some dude with a kick ass body is not going to last with them.

 

[Phyzzle]

Be very careful about surveys asking women "what do you want?"

Women (and some men) are constantly bewildered to find themselves pursuing the opposite of what they "want".

 

[blueguy]

My opinion is that its all crap.

Thats like saying a girl with a smoke'n body is strictly fling material and the
fat chicks are for marrying.

I'd say most of the girls that are part of these studies are probably very average at best, if not fat. Of course they are going to think some dude with a kick ass body is not going to last with them.

EXACTLY.

Frank - Geez, put two and two together. You don't need a study to tell you this sh1t. Think for yourself.

Most average women are going to think a really good looking guy will cheat on them. They'll also think he won't romance them.

Now, you take an even BETTER looking woman and you BET YOUR ASS she'll think the lesser guy is going to romance her.

I can't believe the media is so stupid to not even point this out.

I have dated lots of girls who I know would like to be with me long term - this being ever since I put on tons of muscle, and here's the kicker - they're better looking than they were before.

DUH!

 

[joekerr31]

everyone wants to be with the cheerleader or hte quarterback.

everyone wants everyone else looking at them with the prize on their arm and envying them.

everyone judges their own value by the perceived societal value of the person they are able to hook up with.

if i can get an hb10 then i must be a 10 also.

is any of this healthy? absolutely not. its the reason guys juice up, why women are anorexic, why plastic surgery is such the rage (which i think is just insane), etc.

it also plays a big part in a lot of people's low self esteem and depression in both men and women.

i suppose biologically being fit is also an attractor as it suggests you will have fit offspring.

what i think will be funny is there are tons of people with average genetics who are working out like mad and eating really well to be fit. which is great. BUT, take two of these people and they have a kid and the kid won't have the genetics that they display as grown fit adults. the kids genetics will be whatever their genetics were when they were average.

hehe, so we'll have all these fit attractive parents with average looking kids - and the parents will be left scratching their heads thinking 'WTF, we're both hot, how come our kids aren't!"

hehe.

anyway the other big appeal to muscles is the protector thing. a stronger man offers more protection - and that makes a lot of women wet.

but primarily, i think its merely the case of the more fit you are the more respected you are, the more respected you are (by others) the more women see you as the prize. etc.

personally, i could care less what everyone else does or thinks. i live my own life regardless of what is going on in society. which means ill date whatever woman interests me - i dont chase after just hb10s.

and btw, just my personal opinion, i've banged hb10s, and in my opinion, sex is sex. sex with an hb10 is no better than an hb7.

in fact i find a few flaws in a woman to be appealing.

 

[profitASAP]

You can find a "study" or a "survey" that says anything. Typically, they're created, funded and publicized by groups with an obvious agenda knowing that the clueless dullards in the mainstream media will report their press release verbatim as "factual news". Worrying about what the mainstream media thinks of "dating trends" is best left to the type of people who hang on every word that Oprah says.

I'm a big proponent of exercise and I work out daily. I feel better physically and mentally when I do it, I have more energy, and it helps me with the sports and activities I enjoy. I think most men would benefit from a regular exercise regimen. But I do it for my own reasons and could care less if it helps--or hurts--my success with women.

Finally, as a corollary to the observation that you can find a survey to validate any opinion you want to give don't forget that you can also manipulate data to do the same thing. How the survey/study was constructed, administered and interpreted is very important. You pretty much answer your own question in this regard with the fact that most of the "muscular men" were 'roided up gym rat types. If that's the basis for being a "muscular man" I wouldn't lose sleep over it. For that matter, I wouldn't lose sleep over anything said on "The Today Show"

 

[WaterTiger]

Really? I'm a little different than the average woman then.

Very thin guys (5'9", 120 lbs) creep me out, and so do those Mr. Universe type body builders. I like a beefy guy, and if he carries an extra 30-50 pounds, I'm alright with that. So...no skinny guys at MY wedding!

 

[Vulpine]

....

 

[rakishness]

You can find a "study" or a "survey" that says anything. Typically, they're created, funded and publicized by groups with an obvious agenda knowing that the clueless dullards in the mainstream media will report their press release verbatim as "factual news". Worrying about what the mainstream media thinks of "dating trends" is best left to the type of people who hang on every word that Oprah says.


Finally, as a corollary to the observation that you can find a survey to validate any opinion you want to give don't forget that you can also manipulate data to do the same thing. How the survey/study was constructed, administered and interpreted is very important. You pretty much answer your own question in this regard with the fact that most of the "muscular men" were 'roided up gym rat types. If that's the basis for being a "muscular man" I wouldn't lose sleep over it. For that matter, I wouldn't lose sleep over anything said on "The Today Show"

Exactly.

You can find a study that says anything. Don't listen to all this BS. So many times I have seen muscle bound scrubs in the back of the club alone.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It's really disappointing to notice the various stages and levels that the superficial and shallow aspects of dating in America tend to take.

You just answered your own question here. The words "superficial" and "shallow" are really subjective terms and tossed about when it really suits our own purposes to do so. They seem deragatory and more often than not are used to describe people for whom we make comparisons with. In using them we think we're taking away a power or an advantage they seem to have over others. "Look at that guy, he may be built, but guy's like that are ALWAYS superficial and have fragile egos" otherwise they'd look like the rest of us, right? "A guy that good looking MUST be gay" we say about the Abercrombie & Fitch models on the billboards, but are they? There's always that tinge of self-doubt when average people see extrordinary looking people that they might be breeding more than themselves. At the lowest level the potential for them to do so exists and they subconsciously recognize this.

"Shallow", "Superfical", accusations of homosexuality or calling a girl a 'slut' are all ways in which people will attempt to destroy social proof when it is presented to them in it's most overt form - the physical. As I've always asserted, the best form of Peacocking is to have a great body. This isn't a secret, it's basic subconscious Darwinism in its rawest form, so we necessarily have to evolve coping strategies and social conventions in order to balance the biological playingfield.

We all make conscious and unconscious comparisons of people (sizing up) as a threat or a non-threat to ourselves. Yet we're so continually bombarded by so many instances of having to make these internal estimates of people, the psychological coping method we default to is compartmentalizing (stereotyping, archetyping) people into convenient categories. This of course is part biological and part laziness for us.

I've been a bodybuilder since I was 22. I've met guys who fit the stereotype and I've had training partners who could quote philosophers and gave me some of the best wisdom I've ever had. However, the one commonality of all of them is that they regularly tapped some of the best tail I've ever seen. Personally, I'm a pretty muscular guy. I'm at Gold's at 5:30am 5 days a week and I run on Saturdays. I bench 285, squat 405, and i'm fairly cut. I don't do it competitively (though my brother does), but I get my share of attention at 39 and having been married for 11 years. Do my posts read as though I'm not educated? I have a university degree in fine art and psychology, am I a meat head?

 

[blueguy]

You can find a "study" or a "survey" that says anything. Typically, they're created, funded and publicized by groups with an obvious agenda knowing that the clueless dullards in the mainstream media will report their press release verbatim as "factual news". Worrying about what the mainstream media thinks of "dating trends" is best left to the type of people who hang on every word that Oprah says.

I'm a big proponent of exercise and I work out daily. I feel better physically and mentally when I do it, I have more energy, and it helps me with the sports and activities I enjoy. I think most men would benefit from a regular exercise regimen. But I do it for my own reasons and could care less if it helps--or hurts--my success with women.

Finally, as a corollary to the observation that you can find a survey to validate any opinion you want to give don't forget that you can also manipulate data to do the same thing. How the survey/study was constructed, administered and interpreted is very important. You pretty much answer your own question in this regard with the fact that most of the "muscular men" were 'roided up gym rat types. If that's the basis for being a "muscular man" I wouldn't lose sleep over it. For that matter, I wouldn't lose sleep over anything said on "The Today Show"

I agree. Honestly, I wouldn't stop woring out even if they came out wih a study that actually proves it really does make you less attractive to women (fat chance). Because honestly, it makes me 10x more attractive and happy myself. And that's all that really matters. The fact that it attracts prettier girls is a plus.

 

[tmpgstx]

I don't think it is any coincidence that the lower your body fat and more ripped you are with muscle drives the girls (or at least the athletic girls) crazy.

I'm pretty big muscularily and get a good amount of attention, but when i got my body fat down by %5-7, i was almost dumbfounded at the attention being really direct. It went from the deep stares at a distance to literally coming around and touching me with little self-control.

Guys, work out! It is to your advantage bigtime.

 

[joekerr31]

I bench 285, squat 405, and i'm fairly cut.

i bench 415 pounds, with my penis!

[man i can be f*cking immature at times can't i?]

i can squat 600 pounds but only if a gay guy is laying on the ground right below my ass with a hard on. hell, i could probably squat 800 pounds in that scenario.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

but can you do a c0ck push up? one's all you need.

 

[tmpgstx]

I got ya guys beat .. can bench 360 and squat over 500. Let's not get into a pissing contest over it though

Live, love, laugh and most importantly achieve!

 

[Bonhomme]

Seeing this thread just gave me all the more motivation to get to my workout.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Frank, I hear what you are saying. People assume that if you work out, you are a meat-head and dumb. Yet, if you have an average or skinny physique, you are a nice guy and weak.

In the end, it doesn't matter what they want. It's what you want that matters. You choose who you let into your life, who gives a fvck what everyone thinks.

 

[Obliteraga]

so many people here say women just come up to them when they put on muscle, yet I don't see muscular guys get that kind of attention in the real world. They still have to do the work of approaching. Many posters here must be adonis clones.

Where's the pics?

 

[tmpgstx]

I think the key is being bigger and ripped. You see so many guys who are ripped but don't have alot of muscle. You see so many guys who are bigger, but are not ripped.

So what about the guys who are both? These are the guys getting clawed by girls.

 

[Paradox]

I thought I was going to let the Mature men discuss this in the MM forum but half of the posters on this thread do not have their age posted on their profile.

I'm closing this thread because there is already a current thread in the discussion forum adressing the same issue.