So many failures that it's starting to become funny!

[Vice]

So in the past few months I've been rejected quite alot, with a handful of sweet, shortlived successes.

But I'm starting to think that it's funny when I look back at all the past rejections and failures. I actually chuckle out loud.

And the whole "girl thing" isn't becoming nearly as important as it used to be. I'm starting to go out for ME instead of basing my activities on "how many chicks might be there".

Anyone else do this, or am I going mad? Or is this the "next level"?

 

[apec]

Yeah haha. This happens to me sometimes. Keep on goin, there is a next level. I just dont care that much anymore. Really funny looking back that I actually cared that much

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Happens to me ALL THE TIME brother. It's actually my coping mechanism for anything unpleasant in life, but I think it's especially useful in the dating game.

Some of the sh1t that happens IS funny! Whenever I'm doing something romantically risky, it's always somewhere lingering in the back of my mind that if this blows up somehow, it's going to make for a hilarious story with my mates, even if it stings a little. I've even started laughing while in the midst of being (gently) rejected before. Life's too short, man. We do have a tendency to take dating really seriously, but it's not so severe.

Dude, I got the Let's Just Be Friends talk in the middle of a candlelit dinner that I could barely afford when I was 17. Surprise! Later in the dinner I was still so shaken up that I knocked over a candle on the table, in this nice seafood restaurant in Santa Cruz, and lit the tablecloth on fire. My date started crying. The waiter asked us to leave, LMAO! That was a lifesaver, since all we'd gotten was bread and water at that point and I didn't have to pay for the damn thing. True fvcking story.

I've had success. I've had beautiful girlfriends. For every ridiculous story about getting mercilessly blown out, my friends have stories of times I have made epic scores and they've been there to witness it. Although it's easier to realize this now, I no longer allow my self-worth to be affected by a superficial interaction with a woman.

At the same time, my new thing is trying not to let the highs get too high either. That way when things don't pan out, there's less disappointment.

I think Buddhists call this, the middle way.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

I know exactly what you mean.

It took me a while to realize that happiness has to come before success, instead of relying on success to bring happiness.

After one particular failure with a one-itis I sort of snapped and came to this realization. All of the sudden "getting girls" meant nothing to me and I just started going out and having fun for my own personal amusement.

For me this was the "next level" because I was no longer holding so much importance of finding LTRs in my hierarchy of happiness.

I started putting girls I would have crawled on my hands and feet for in the friend-zone instead of the other way around- this role-reversal drives them crazy.

When you see it is all meaningless and holds little importance in the grand scheme of things, you shift your frame to a successful one.

Congratulations, I believe you have found the right mind-set. When failure becomes funny you become unstoppable.

 

[ATP]

It's the next level. At the level after this level you realize that the only one you should love and respect is yourself and that women are useless in 95% of the cases and you facepalm at all the morons who try to win the acceptance of some mediocre skank.

 

[Vice]

It's the next level. At the level after this level you realize that the only one you should love and respect is yourself and that women are useless in 95% of the cases and you facepalm at all the morons who try to win the acceptance of some mediocre skank.

Exactly.

Every time I turn on the radio to one of those girly pop radio stations that play the newest hits, I am reminded of how lame the music is, and how alot of chicks listen to that garbage that conditions them to be slutty and dysfunctional. Case and point: Kesha/Lady Gaga

So I'm finally starting to go out to places that I want to go, instead of gauging my decision on a guess of "how many chicks are there."

Anyone else ever used to do that?

 

[Kailex]

So in the past few months I've been rejected quite alot, with a handful of sweet, shortlived successes.

But I'm starting to think that it's funny when I look back at all the past rejections and failures. I actually chuckle out loud.

And the whole "girl thing" isn't becoming nearly as important as it used to be. I'm starting to go out for ME instead of basing my activities on "how many chicks might be there".

Anyone else do this, or am I going mad? Or is this the "next level"?

I've had a lot of rejections myself. You can't always have a success story.

BTw, even when I DO go out with a girl, I try to base the activities on things I want to do. If there's something we don't BOTH want to do, I recommend the individuals doing those things on their own time.

The "how many chicks might be there" mentality stopped for me in the teens.
Once I was in my 20's, it became about what I wanted to do... if there was women there that I could meet there, fine, if not... fine.

As long as I was comfortable with myself and having a good time, it didn't matter. Besides, you're only in your element if you are comfortable in your own skin.

 

[kingsam]

So in the past few months I've been rejected quite alot, with a handful of sweet, shortlived successes.

But I'm starting to think that it's funny when I look back at all the past rejections and failures. I actually chuckle out loud.

And the whole "girl thing" isn't becoming nearly as important as it used to be. I'm starting to go out for ME instead of basing my activities on "how many chicks might be there".

Anyone else do this, or am I going mad? Or is this the "next level"?

you can see the light!
it definately is the next level... being yourself, not giving a ****e what other people think of you (within reason) ... being indifferent towards rejection... keep going keeping it ****y and funny and you will start being a natural challenge
(as long as your game is "on base" )

being able to laugh at yourself allows to to contemplate and improve aswell

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

Just don't fall into a trap where you stop taking any action because you don't "need it" anymore. Tyler just wrote an awesome article about this that has me smacking myself.

 

[pipe007]

this works for me

" every NO i hear, is one more no I wont have to hear in my way to the inevitable YES"

learned optimism will take you far, you construct for yourself the illusion (no matter how psychothic it seems) that if you keep trying, you will eventually get what you want no matter what.

that belief alone will take you far....

 

[kingsam]

the more failures you have = the more you wil learn and grow from these => the more sucess you will have inthe end

it like in business, most people's first businesses they start will fail, what they learn from this failure will help them suceed with their next venture...

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other factor.

And remember that failure cannot cope with persistence, it tries to trip you up for so long before it finally sais, "Fuggit, I'm not gonna get this guy."