"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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So lonely, want to get out of this. Don't know how.

Chera

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Just want to rant. Not sure where to start.. Probably the usual story as other guys, got dumped by the first gf, went into depression, grew a ***** and put her on a pedestal... Now trying to re-grow my ****.

I am from a small city in a South Asian country now residing in a western country... I have been living away from my parents from 16. My parent's marriage was never smooth. My city was really small, traditional with no night clubs/life.. I was never interested in dancing/clubbing.. I was quite interested in sports, and did well in my studies as well.

After my schooling, I got a scholarship to study in a western country and I moved there. I used to work on fridays and all weekends to supplement my income so never went out with my friends.. I had friends with similar south asian origin who also worked with me. I had a gf so life was great. I was the topper in my batch and got a great job in a small consultancy company with a really good salary.

I then had the breakup on Sep 7th 2007. She said she wanted to leave. I was devastated. I also started a new job and performed well. Then came the financial crisis. My company didn't survive and I lost my job. I wasn't experienced enough to get a job during those times, but wasn't considered young enough to apply for graduate roles. Thanks to my ex colleague I got another job. There weren't that many girls of south asian origin in my city. My language skills and culture are not that developed to attract a local girl.

But I feel like I am capable of much more that I currently am. I studied and passed a few certifications. I worked out and have become quite toned. I applied for other jobs and have enrolled as an Officer in the military. I joined salsa classes and made some friends there.

But every weekend, I feel lonely. I check my phone, check my email every half an hour even though I know that no one is going to respond. I lose my motivation to do anything, I get really depressed. All my other friends are married, and my house mate works at nights and weekends. I feel miserable. This happens only on weekends. And then I do something which completely wrecks what I am trying to build in the week. I go to a brothel, eat junk food and just lie down in my bed alone. Is this because I am staying alone?

My Officers Training is going to start in another 2 months and I am looking forward to it. I really want to train myself as a leader, a person who is a winner. But I am afraid whether I can change myself to that person. Every weekend in the last one year is the same story.. I feel depressed.

How can I get out of this? Will this continue even after I join the military?:(
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Julian

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Im interested in what military branch of service you plan on joining? Going in as an officer is pretty bad ass.

It seems like you are searching for something. What is it? Another girl to keep you company? Bro you are placing the state of your happiness on the existance of things which, while they are good in a sense to have, should NOT make or break you as a man or an individual.


Get a hobby or something to occupy yourself during those times you feel lonely. We all been there brah...but as a man you have to be comfortable with being by yourself completely. Me personally ive had times where I was a thousand miles away from any familiar soul but I still found adventure.

Its all in your mindstate. If you look at it like oh "im miserable im gona go pay some $$$ to bang a hoe and eat doritos in my room" well yeah you are gonna feel pretty pathetic.

If you go out with a plan of action...well know whos what the night could bring. Ive gone out solo and ended up at multimillion dollar downtown condo penthouses partying. Try not to take everything so serious brah.
 

L B

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Do you know what will make you happy? Women, health, wealth? All of the above? Find something and work at it is the easiest answer.

If your objective is women, I suggest the DJ Bible if you haven't already. Looks like you have started improving certain aspects of your life already. There are many tools/styles/technique in getting women. Try to find what areas you are good at and are comfortable with and start there. Experiment until you get results.

Officer training might help, but your mentality must change. If you can't be happy by yourself, it's hard to be happy at all. Women and friends add to your life, but be the primary focus of it.
 

Chera

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Julian said:
Im interested in what military branch of service you plan on joining? Going in as an officer is pretty bad ass..
I am joining the army


Julian said:
It seems like you are searching for something. What is it? Another girl to keep you company? Bro you are placing the state of your happiness on the existance of things which, while they are good in a sense to have, should NOT make or break you as a man or an individual...

Well, this doesn't happen to me on the weekdays. I am happy, having a good time with people at work, salsa.. working out.. But this becomes a problem on the weekends.. Probably because I don't have any contact with another human being for the 2 days on weekends.. I am pretty much at home. I try to prepare for some certifications, but then slowly it becomes difficult.


That's why I'm sort of looking forward to this position. I guess there should be a number of activities to keep me engaged.
 

Chera

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L B said:
Do you know what will make you happy? Women, health, wealth? All of the above? Find something and work at it is the easiest answer.
I guess all of the above. :). I want to concentrate on my career, study for some certifications, but it comes really difficult on the weekends.. weekdays, no problem. I am a happy man.

I don't have any friends who club on weekend nights. I can't dance on the dance floor. I guess I have to live out this torture until I join the army.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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