"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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So I've gotten out of the AFC region...

handle

Master Don Juan
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I'm no longer a quiet mumbling guy with slouched shoulders, I no longer place girls on the pedestal, etc etc etc... But I feel like instead of approaching DJism I've taken some other road out of being an AFC. I'm becoming a bit of a jerk. I've got the "I come before the chick" thing down, but a little too much. I'm a little self-centered lately, I'm a bit uncaring.

The worst part is, this is all a facade. I'm still a needy bastard on the inside and I know it. I haven't killed my desperation - I've merely found a new way of expressing it. How can I bring myself out of this new form of AFC and back towards becoming a DJ?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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xblitz44x

Master Don Juan
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It's great that you can at least be honest about it. The bottom line is that we're all trying to find somebody to be happy with. The problem is that, since our feelings and egos are on the line, both genders are trying their best to hide their cards so that they don't make themselves too vulnerable. Therefore it becomes almost impossible to read the other sex.

This game, despite what spiteful ASFers will tell you, is all about understanding one another. Understanding women and making them feel comfortable enough to understand you.

Instead of making this process into some kind of "war", where you have to struggle for power...think of it as two people trying to understand each other to get what they want. Since you know this, you have an advantage. Help women acheive what the both of you want by being empathetic of the situation, and bold enough to do what it takes to make happen.
 

flexion_

Master Don Juan
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Sounds like you are making progress. It does happens in steps. Good work so far.
 

GuitarOnFire

Senior Don Juan
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It's a common fallacy to think that once one avoids some AFC tendencies that they are suddenly a DJ. This is not true.

Even the best can make mistakes, as we're all human. Just because you aren't acting like an AFC right at this moment, doesn't mean you won't slip back.

Keep your ego in check, youngin'!
 
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