"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
So I've been trying to boost my confidence
- Thread starter JPlaya
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2007
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- 8,411
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Being social is good. Affirmations are also very good, but nothing breeds confidence like success.
Want to improve your confidence in school? Study hard and ace that exam.
Want confidence dancing? Take classes and practice hard.
Success or at the very least experience is the only true confidence builder.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2007
- Messages
- 8,411
- Reaction score
- 5,176
One problem in this game is the confidence vs. success thing. How do get confidence without success? Or how do you get success without confidence?
The answer is experience. You will see how interactions with women actually work and be exposed to all kinds of situations. True confidence comes from a feeling that "I've done this before.".
Based on you followup post, not knowing many girls might be an issue. You don't NEED a big social circle, but having girls to "practice" your game on is important. Do you go out with friends to bars, clubs, parties? Do you go out alone much? The more interactions you have, the more you exude a natural confidence. I know you have been working on being social/outgoing which is good.
When I talked about "closing," I meant trying to get somewhere with a girl. After a decent conversation, try to get a number. Then try to meet up with her afain. Or if you are feeling more aggressive, try for the one might stand with one that you were drinking and/or dancing with at the bar or club. It might take a while, but once you have hooked up, you will carry yourself like s new man. Just have a very thick skin to get there.
I used to go out with wingmen and got nowhere. Finally, one night I just walked away from buddy and went to a different floor at the club. I approached this group of girls and started chatting then up. Before long, I found myself dancing and making out with a 21 yo. (I was 30 at the time. I got into the game kind of late.). But from then on, my confidence only grew. I made that first breakthrough and realized "I can do this.".
That's why I used that school analogy. Some people say that they "suck at xyz subject.". With enough study/experience, you can get that "A" on the exam which will give you the mental "I can do it" breakthrough you need.
In the meantime, like garruk suggested, going to the gym is excellent for your looks and confidence.
The other thing i've used are affirmations. It sounds fake and gimmick-y, but it helps. There are probably other posts on that. I don't want to make this one too long.
Young Juan
Senior Don Juan
If people are there, I play 21, 32, 3 on 3, 4s full court or 5 on 5. Basically, anything to compete and be competitive. Even if there are teen kids there, I play ruthlessly and crush their spirits. Not to be a jerk or anything, partially to make them better, mostly because I hate to lose, mainly because a win is a win in the end.
Is it when you work out? Is it when you close a deal? Is it after you've completed building something physical? Is it after you've written something? Is it after you've interacted with people for whatever reason?
Confidence comes from somewhere. It's based on you feeling awesome about yourself for some reason. You can't just "increase confidence" it's a byproduct of something greater. It's caused by succeeding at something.
Personally, I feel at my best when I'm in a professional/business situation or after I have finished a large project I set out for myself. Even being in that environment is enough. This makes women much easier. When I've been lazy and I feel like a bum (because I didn't complete my goals) I get little success with the ladies.
Try it. Be successful in your endeavors and watch how the women interact with you differently. You think you're acting the same, but you're not. You're different, you're a better you when you complete your goals.
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
That's because you don't believe in it. In order for that to happen you must do something that you do believe in.JPlaya said:I've been going to the gym and my friends have been noticing my change in physique. People say I look great, but I can't get a girl though.
What is important to you? What are the things you want to do in life? What do you want to accomplish?
Follow those goals, be successful in your pursuit of those goals and you will radiate confidence. The gym is important as well for maintaining a healthy strong and good looking body. But that only makes you physically attractive. If you only have that you're just a shell of a person. Beautiful outside and nothing inside. You must work on the inside as well. Everything you do and most of what people understand about you comes from there. Who you are, what you feel like, what you think about, how you treat others... you can't train in the gym for that.