The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
Greetings all,
I'm not sure how many old faces who know me are still kicking 'round these parts, but for everyone who may be new to this site, I'm one of the vets who was here from the beginning pretty much. (had a different handle before my current one), and I was a pretty active member up until about 2 years ago.
So I've had a very crazy couple of years, and pretty much had my "dreams" come true as far as what I had been aspiring to be, career-wise. Life has been very good to me and I owe it in some small way to this site, but more-so to my own tenacity and steadfastness. I was willing to jump when the time was right and it paid off quite well.
I glanced around SS for a bit and I see that things haven't changed much. There's a whole mess of folks who are very confused, a few keyboard jockey's claiming to be DJ's, dishing out canned advice and a few guys who seem to genuinely know what they're talking about. Was this way back some 6-7 (8?) years ago and it's still this way today.
I thought some of you might appreciate some words of wisdom from a guy who's on the more mature side of his dating life.
I'll be 30 in less than a month.
Part of this might be out of some freakish midlife crisis type bit, but I'm feelin that it has more to do with my being more open to reflect on my past and focusing on my future. I've been able to gain a huge amount of perspective recently and some parts of my past make me laugh; other parts are downright embarassing and make me curl up and wimper (heh)
For the record, I've been in an LTR with a wonderful girl for the past year and a half. We live together and she is amazing. She's also 7 yrs younger than I am but her level of maturity surpasses mine on most(every) days. (hell I still love goofin' off, drinkin a bit too much sometimes and playing video games with the boys)
Sooooooo, to get to the point, I have some thoughts I want to share with you:
- The only way to find happiness is to find it within yourself. Once you figure out what makes you happy, then and ONLY THEN are you ready to be happy with another person.
- Relationships take alot of work and sometimes don't seem worth it but if the girl is real quality, all the petty B.S. is easily forgiven when she reminds you why you're with her in the first place and you fall for her again, all over again, and again, and again.
- It's easy to get caught up in this whole don juan pick up thing and really, it's all a load of crap. If you're just out looking for notches on your belt, you're in for a very rude awakening. Take the "be a man" mentailty and better yourself. Do it, for yourself. It is very rewarding and if you've fallen by the wayside, for cryin out loud get up and work on yourself. It will pay off big time. (see my first point). However, don't focus on getting laid like it's some sort of spite for not getting any when you were younger.
REMEMBER THIS: You give a part of your soul to every woman you sleep with, regardless how insignificant last night's hookup was.... it can and will come back to haunt you years down the road when you wake to realize you were nothing more than a manipulative ass hole and she probably hates you for it.
- The amount of girls you've been with has no bearing to your level of happiness. I've slept with 52 women to date, and I regret about 45 of them. They mean't nothing to me and now they shared something with me that I really didn't want them to... although at the time it was just another notch on that big manly belt of mine. when it comes to one night stands, in the end, you're empty in more ways then one... you just might not realize it at the time.
- No chick is worth crying over. Tears are just your ego's selfassurance that you really weren't good enough for her. In the end it was the truth, and you should be thankful for the hurt... it WILL make you better in the end, as long as you recognize the faults and fix them.
I guess that's it for now, though I may add to this at somepoint.
cheers to you all and best wishes.
The Bad Ass Canadian
I'm not sure how many old faces who know me are still kicking 'round these parts, but for everyone who may be new to this site, I'm one of the vets who was here from the beginning pretty much. (had a different handle before my current one), and I was a pretty active member up until about 2 years ago.
So I've had a very crazy couple of years, and pretty much had my "dreams" come true as far as what I had been aspiring to be, career-wise. Life has been very good to me and I owe it in some small way to this site, but more-so to my own tenacity and steadfastness. I was willing to jump when the time was right and it paid off quite well.
I glanced around SS for a bit and I see that things haven't changed much. There's a whole mess of folks who are very confused, a few keyboard jockey's claiming to be DJ's, dishing out canned advice and a few guys who seem to genuinely know what they're talking about. Was this way back some 6-7 (8?) years ago and it's still this way today.
I thought some of you might appreciate some words of wisdom from a guy who's on the more mature side of his dating life.
I'll be 30 in less than a month.
Part of this might be out of some freakish midlife crisis type bit, but I'm feelin that it has more to do with my being more open to reflect on my past and focusing on my future. I've been able to gain a huge amount of perspective recently and some parts of my past make me laugh; other parts are downright embarassing and make me curl up and wimper (heh)
For the record, I've been in an LTR with a wonderful girl for the past year and a half. We live together and she is amazing. She's also 7 yrs younger than I am but her level of maturity surpasses mine on most(every) days. (hell I still love goofin' off, drinkin a bit too much sometimes and playing video games with the boys)
Sooooooo, to get to the point, I have some thoughts I want to share with you:
- The only way to find happiness is to find it within yourself. Once you figure out what makes you happy, then and ONLY THEN are you ready to be happy with another person.
- Relationships take alot of work and sometimes don't seem worth it but if the girl is real quality, all the petty B.S. is easily forgiven when she reminds you why you're with her in the first place and you fall for her again, all over again, and again, and again.
- It's easy to get caught up in this whole don juan pick up thing and really, it's all a load of crap. If you're just out looking for notches on your belt, you're in for a very rude awakening. Take the "be a man" mentailty and better yourself. Do it, for yourself. It is very rewarding and if you've fallen by the wayside, for cryin out loud get up and work on yourself. It will pay off big time. (see my first point). However, don't focus on getting laid like it's some sort of spite for not getting any when you were younger.
REMEMBER THIS: You give a part of your soul to every woman you sleep with, regardless how insignificant last night's hookup was.... it can and will come back to haunt you years down the road when you wake to realize you were nothing more than a manipulative ass hole and she probably hates you for it.
- The amount of girls you've been with has no bearing to your level of happiness. I've slept with 52 women to date, and I regret about 45 of them. They mean't nothing to me and now they shared something with me that I really didn't want them to... although at the time it was just another notch on that big manly belt of mine. when it comes to one night stands, in the end, you're empty in more ways then one... you just might not realize it at the time.
- No chick is worth crying over. Tears are just your ego's selfassurance that you really weren't good enough for her. In the end it was the truth, and you should be thankful for the hurt... it WILL make you better in the end, as long as you recognize the faults and fix them.
I guess that's it for now, though I may add to this at somepoint.
cheers to you all and best wishes.
The Bad Ass Canadian