so it finally happened ... my gf isn't attracted anymore .. what now?

[muscleman]

It's been leading up to this. We've been dating exclusively for about 8 months now. A few days back we were talking and she's like "the last few times we've had sex I wasn't really feeling it and it's kind of depressing and I don't know why". Well tonight we hung out and later she goes "I think we need to take a break and not see each other til next weekend and see if it makes things better ... but then if it does I'm not sure what we'll do .. I still want to talk to you on the phone and stuff but I don't think we should see each other til next weekend". For me, "taking a break" has always meant breaking up.

I'm just trying to figure out where I went wrong (what lost the attraction). She asked me if I was staying the night and I said no cause it wouldn't do us any good, then she told me to call her, though I really don't want to.

I'm not sure what to do now. I've been out of the "game" for a while and probably went AFC again.

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471&highlight=breaks

You should have a read of joekerr's thread about "breaks" that I linked up.

Anyway man its sad to say but just don't contact her anymore and walk away.

My ex girlfriend pulled this garbage and tried to have us do things that would make it work and I like an AFC moron went along with it until she felt good enough in her emotions to cut me loose entirely.

They do this sh!t until their pain and self doubt on their decision about the relationship's end passes, its never a real attempt at making things work.

Walk away now or you will be screwed over even worse than you've been thus far.

 

[MMA Juan]

It seems that your girlfriend has gotten bored of being in an exclusive relationship, and wants to see what else is out there. I believe this has occured due to a mixture of the environment she's in (possibly single friends, hits the clubs and parties often etc)? and you droppin your game due to being in a relationship and having the attitude 'she's there so i don't have to keep the maintenance happenin'.

In my opinion you haven't fully lost your game, I like the fact that you haven't spent the night over, and I highly recommend you don't just easily take yes for an answer to pick up her calls when she feels like callin.

I think we need to take a break and not see each other til next weekend and see if it makes things better ...

She asked me if I was staying the night

Both of these quotes tell me that she wants to go out and have agood time to see what fish she can find in the sea, but will keep you for a second option. Obviously i'm taking your not an idiot, so I'm guessin you know this is not good enough.

She either wants to be exclusive or not, your not a second best option and she needs to know that. For now give her the space she wants, and whatever happens happens.

When you do talk to her next however, lay it down, and if it doesn't work well... Then brother, you'll have to do two things:

1- Next her. Then give yourself sometime to recuperate and go fishin for some ladies.

2- Find out from assessing where you went wrong, think about the AFC things you did in the relationship and how you can improve for next time.

PS- Whatever you do however, DO NOT ask her where you went wrong, you'll have to sort that part out for yourself. The relationship might be over, but deosn't mean you have to give away your self respect with it...

Peace, hope all goes well, and any other Juan's opinions would be good to help out this brother in need...

 

[backbreaker]

Read "the Secret". You have alwyas expected for her to eventually not to be attracted to you, so of course, it eventually happened. Nothing happened that you have not brong to yourself.

Anyway, nothing you can do now but move on

 

[Nexus Polaris]

Man, I realized something after reading that link to joekerr's post. I understand now why you're supposed to treat women like children. Because they behave like children. They're essentially adult children. That's why they're to be protected but not ever to be allowed power over you.


I've also come to the sobering conclusion after a year of posting here that I don't think I can ever logically allow myself to fall in love again. It is utterly pointless. Who was it that said love was a mental disease? That was a famous quote.

I do know for a fact that drug addiction, mental illness, and love at first sight all share a biochemical link, though.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I understand now why you're supposed to treat women like children. Because they behave like children. They're essentially adult children.

This is the antithesis of feminism. And I agree.

I don't think I can ever logically allow myself to fall in love again. It is utterly pointless.

Welcome to the club!

 

[amoka]

She is probably banging her next door neighbour. walk away.

 

[backbreaker]

Love is a term coined and trademarked by the media to get you to spend money and **** on women and stuff like that.

I LovE my little sister. I'd take a bullet for her. I'd take a bullet for the child I'm about to have.

But I"m not taking a bullet for a woman i'm giving the **** to.. I don't care how much we have in common and how much seh 'gets me"... she can't 'get me' if i"m dead

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I kind of agree. The love I have for my family, my friends, and my daughter is this unconditional type thing.

I never thought about it until now, but romantic love is almost a whole different concept. It's more like a drug. It's addictive and can get you in trouble. And if you're stupid about it, sometimes it can even kill you.

 

[muscleman]

Read "the Secret". You have alwyas expected for her to eventually not to be attracted to you, so of course, it eventually happened. Nothing happened that you have not brong to yourself.

Anyway, nothing you can do now but move on

What's "The Secret", who wrote it?

And I think I have a talk ahead of me here in a little bit (I need to swing by her place to give her back something of hers and get back something of mine). I really need to collect my thoughts.

 

[muscleman]

double post

 

[backbreaker]

if I told you what the srecet was, it wouldn't be one now would it?


seirously, anyone who wants it pm me I'll shoot it over. ti should IMHO be a part of the DJ Bible.

 

[muscleman]

I just have this talk coming up and I'm not sure what to say. I feel like we've run our course. But it's damn hard letting go. I've always had a hard time letting go. LTRs have always been my thing. Maybe it's that bad conditioning, I dunno.

 

[backbreaker]

It's a damn shame that people here, some of them at least, can tell you off the top of their heads, 10-15 books on PUAism and How to get women, but dont' know what the secret is, and who wrote important books like the 48 laws of power, the prince and how to win friends and influence people.. then wonder why they can't get high quality women

 

[logic1]

Walk away now!!

When a woman(girl) says I need space or want a break, she is actually telling you she wants to explore other options( fukk other men).

Move on. No more contact!!

 

[muscleman]

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'll probably never see her again after today. However, I'm not sure what to say. There are so many things I want to say, but I know some of them probably wouldn't do much in the way of .. anything.

 

[logic1]

No more talking!!!

Very slim possibility, but sometimes when you completly dissappear she will seek you out. Then you will have the power to decide if she is worth it.

 

[muscleman]

Well, I still have to see her again to get my stuff back/give her hers, and I said we need to talk already, I'm just not sure what all I need to say. I don't want to be an ass because frankly she didn't do anything bad to me. It just died out.

 

[muscleman]

It's official. We're now broken up. This sucks ass. I feel like aside from the mistakes I've made, I've barely grown as a person ... after 8 months. And it's gonna be hard as hell not seeing her or talking to her. Even after all the relationships I've been in, the pain doesn't go away. This one feels a lot worse than the previous couple actually.

 

[backbreaker]

Our job as humans is to hold on to the thoughts of what we want, make it absolutely clear in our minds what we want, and from what we start to invoke one of the greatest laws in the universe, and that’s the law of attraction. You become what you think about most, but you also attract what you think about most.



The law of attraction is really obedient. When you think of the things that you want, and you focus on them with all of your intention, then the law of attraction will give you exactly what you want, every time. When you focu on the things you don’t want- “I don’t want to be late, I don’t’ want to be late”- the law of attraction doesn’t hear that you don’t want it. It manifests the things that you ‘re thinking of, and so it’s going to show up over and over and over again. The law of attraction is not biased to wants or don’t wants. When you focus on something, no matter what it happesn to be, you really are calling that into existence