So is there a way out of this tail spin?

[SleepnZJ]

I posted this twice, my mistake, can some one delete this!


Ok gentlemen of Don Juan I call upon your wisdom in a minor situation I am in.

A few weeks ago I answered this girl’s ad on Craigslist and to my surprise she responded. We ended up chatting on the phone for a few days then decided to meet for coffee per my suggestion. I always like to do the coffee/drink thing because it’s sorts quick and cheep plus if it’s bad I don’t have to sit through a meal before I can bail. We ended up meeting in a mall around 8pm, hit starbucks then walked around the mall just chatting. The conversation was good, I made her laugh and vice versa when, we ended up at a bar in the mall for 1 drink right before closing then she offered to drive me to my car on the other side of the mall where we sat in her car for another hour chatting and making out. During the next week we chatted on the phone, sometimes I called her sometimes she called me. We ended up going out on a date that Saturday, nothing crazy just dinner near her place then rented a movie and hung out at her apartment which eventually led to her bed room. We made out, did some minor snuggling, she went down on me but I couldn’t return the favor to her because she was having her monthly visit. I probably could have slept over but decided to head home. We chatted for the week following and made plans to hang out on Saturday. Friday night I called her and spoke to her briefly, she was hanging out with a female friend at her place which I could hear in the background. I told her I would let her go, she told me she was going to hang out with a few friends during the day on Saturday but asked if we were still on for Saturday night? I told her sure and she said she would call me when she got in. On Saturday no phone call all day and in the evening I called her and left a quick voice mail, nothing drawn out jus a “calling to see what’s going on call me back.” No return call Saturday night, no call Sunday so Monday evening I called and left a voice mail just asking if everything was ok. When I didn’t get a call back by Tuesday night I sent her a quick e-mail just asking if everything was OK and left it at that.

Today I get a e-mail from her saying “I'm really sorry that I acted like such an ass and didn't call you back...I don't know why I acted like that but I want to apologize cause you are a great guy...I'm not sure that I feel explosive sparks for you though so I'm not sure how things would work out in the LT... you are a sweetheart and a true gentleman...i hope that you don't hate me now...but I understand if you do.”

Now I honestly I don’t mind because I dished out and taken my fare share of rejections but I am really curious if there is a way to pull this out of a tail spin. I’m not that into this girl but I figured this would be good practice for down the road and she does have friends that I wouldn’t mind being introduced to.

I was thinking of writing her back saying no problem, this kinda works out because was seeing other people (which is actually true), But what else should/should not write? I was even thinking of asking what "spark" wasn't there.

I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated.

 

[PhatE1vis]

You'll never get a straight answer from her, so DO NOT ask about the sparks. She'll make up some BS. Maybe she's not attracted, maybe somebody else came along, you'll never ever EVER know from her response. It's a dead end.

I'd probably not contact her again. However, if you feel the need to say anything else, don't go down the "it's OK, I have other girls" road. It's qualifying, and even if it's true, it will look like a lie/justification to her.

If you do respond, just say something like "Hey, no problem. It was great meeting you." Leaves the door open (even though I bet nothing ever comes of it) and sounds strong, no wimpy supplicating. That being said, I'd probably not respond.

Good luck!

 

[DonJuan11]

I posted this twice, my mistake, can some one delete this!


Ok gentlemen of Don Juan I call upon your wisdom in a minor situation I am in.

A few weeks ago I answered this girl’s ad on Craigslist and to my surprise she responded. We ended up chatting on the phone for a few days then decided to meet for coffee per my suggestion. I always like to do the coffee/drink thing because it’s sorts quick and cheep plus if it’s bad I don’t have to sit through a meal before I can bail. We ended up meeting in a mall around 8pm, hit starbucks then walked around the mall just chatting. The conversation was good, I made her laugh and vice versa when, we ended up at a bar in the mall for 1 drink right before closing then she offered to drive me to my car on the other side of the mall where we sat in her car for another hour chatting and making out. During the next week we chatted on the phone, sometimes I called her sometimes she called me. We ended up going out on a date that Saturday, nothing crazy just dinner near her place then rented a movie and hung out at her apartment which eventually led to her bed room. We made out, did some minor snuggling, she went down on me but I couldn’t return the favor to her because she was having her monthly visit. I probably could have slept over but decided to head home. We chatted for the week following and made plans to hang out on Saturday. Friday night I called her and spoke to her briefly, she was hanging out with a female friend at her place which I could hear in the background. I told her I would let her go, she told me she was going to hang out with a few friends during the day on Saturday but asked if we were still on for Saturday night? I told her sure and she said she would call me when she got in. On Saturday no phone call all day and in the evening I called her and left a quick voice mail, nothing drawn out jus a “calling to see what’s going on call me back.”

Brutal dude. Why the heck did you call her when she said she would call you?

No return call Saturday night, no call Sunday so Monday evening I called and left a voice mail just asking if everything was ok. When I didn’t get a call back by Tuesday night I sent her a quick e-mail just asking if everything was OK and left it at that.

Again brutal. She said she would contact you, she will contact you. I know its like a drug talking to her and seeing her but when she says she'll call you, she will call you. If you are selling a car and the buyer says "I'll call you on Saturday." Do you call back 3 times and send an email asking the buyer if everything is ok??

Today I get a e-mail from her saying “I'm really sorry that I acted like such an ass and didn't call you back...I don't know why I acted like that but I want to apologize cause you are a great guy...I'm not sure that I feel explosive sparks for you though so I'm not sure how things would work out in the LT... you are a sweetheart and a true gentleman...i hope that you don't hate me now...but I understand if you do.”

I was thinking of writing her back saying no problem, this kinda works out because was seeing other people (which is actually true), But what else should/should not write? I was even thinking of asking what "spark" wasn't there.

"you are right, I don't think we would work out in the LT. You are a very good girl and I didn't feel much sparks either when we were together. We are much better as friends, no hard feelings."

 

[DonGorgon]

You didnt F close quick enough for her so she feels rejected and is projecting that rejection back onto you... and she has friends who are pushing other agendas (men) with her....

That is what happened saturday...

My guess is she has the "week routine" - on the weekend she meets new guys to F during the week.. then repeat cycle next week... Many young girls do this and if you are to slow to F close you get nexted...

Chances of salvaging this are slim but there... You need to start spinning other plates to avoid onitis..

 

[theunflushables]

Ehh...why look back on it you had some fun and you got a blowie. Move on, no sense in dwelling on what you could have done differently.

However, I just have to ask, you didn't nut in her eye did you? I could see that causing problems.