So I'm flying across country to see a girl I was friends with as a kid (10 yrs ago).

[Drex]

10 years ago I lived across the street from this girl and we were best friends for 2 years until we both moved away (military parents). We did everything together every day (we were like 11-13 yrs. old). We lost each others contact info about 6 years ago and since then we've been trying to find each other but for various reasons we were unable to. So the other day I found her on the internet and she was ecstatic.

So anyways, we talked for probably 10 hours that day online and on the phone and she really wants me to fly out to see her asap. We also exchanged pictures (she's gorgeous). So I am flying out in 1 month.

Most of the talking was just catching up and rememberring the things we did together. She asked what my status was and I told her I was single/dating. She said she is single, got out of a LTR about 9 months ago and moved away to a new state and started all over which is where she is now. She also told me that once I visit I am not going to want to go back home and that her roomate is moving out this summer and I have a place to live if I want, lol. I said wooooah slow down, how about I visit first!

I dont really know what kind of advice I am looking for just yet. I'm going down there as a friend but I think it would be a shame to not try and pursue something more. She is seriously the female version of me, we get along so well and share the same thoughts it is incredible. I've never met another person that has been this way. It was like this 10 years ago and after talking with her for 10 hours the other day it is apparent that things have not changed.

She's online a lot, so for the next month I'm going to not be around very much (online via IM) in order to keep things, I dont know what word I am looking for, fresh? For when I see her.

Can anyone that has maybe been in a similar situation offer some advice on what I should do when I see her in a month? I dont want to spoil a friendship but I also do not want to always wonder "what if". I need to get her thinking of me as maybe more than just a friend (if she isnt already).

I can give more details about anything if need be.

Thanks!

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Drex
10 years ago I lived across the street from this girl and we were best friends for 2 years until we both moved away (military parents). We did everything together every day (we were like 11-13 yrs. old). We lost each others contact info about 6 years ago and since then we've been trying to find each other but for various reasons we were unable to. So the other day I found her on the internet and she was ecstatic.

So anyways, we talked for probably 10 hours that day online and on the phone and she really wants me to fly out to see her asap. We also exchanged pictures (she's gorgeous). So I am flying out in 1 month.

Most of the talking was just catching up and rememberring the things we did together. She asked what my status was and I told her I was single/dating. She said she is single, got out of a LTR about 9 months ago and moved away to a new state and started all over which is where she is now. She also told me that once I visit I am not going to want to go back home and that her roomate is moving out this summer and I have a place to live if I want, lol. I said wooooah slow down, how about I visit first!

I dont really know what kind of advice I am looking for just yet. I'm going down there as a friend but I think it would be a shame to not try and pursue something more. She is seriously the female version of me, we get along so well and share the same thoughts it is incredible. I've never met another person that has been this way. It was like this 10 years ago and after talking with her for 10 hours the other day it is apparent that things have not changed.

She's online a lot, so for the next month I'm going to not be around very much (online via IM) in order to keep things, I dont know what word I am looking for, fresh? For when I see her.

Can anyone that has maybe been in a similar situation offer some advice on what I should do when I see her in a month? I dont want to spoil a friendship but I also do not want to always wonder "what if". I need to get her thinking of me as maybe more than just a friend (if she isnt already).

I can give more details about anything if need be.

Thanks!

hey Drex,

i think this is a pretty cool thing. id be excited to be meeting a new friend but nothing more.

you seem to be jumping the gun a bit here.

you knew her when she was 13, not 18, not 20. I am not saying that things are not going to work but don't count the chickens before they hatch.

keep me posted on what happens im interested to know how it goes.

-DrIx

 

[Drex]

Yea I am going there without really any expectations other than to have fun with an old friend....BUT the couple of friends I have told about this (1 girl 1 guy) have both told me that I better at least try and make a move. Both seem to think that she would not have asked me to visit if she werent at least somewhat interested herself.

Actually I had drinks tonight with one of our veteran DJs on this board (M.A.C.) and he told me that she most likely would not have asked me to come and see her so quickly (or at all) if she did not find me attractive after exchanging pics. He said I am nuts if I dont hook up while I'm there...grrr dunno what to do!

 

[J-Man]

dude dont be an idiot!

nuts if you dont "hook up"?

there are millions of women on this planet you can be nuts for not "hooking up" with. NOT her. shes someone special. shes gorgeous and almost you. you grew up with her. if i were in your situation, i would:

A: become really close friends with her,

or

B: look into having a long term relationship with her.

this is not a stupid b!tch youre gonna fvck. this is the kind of girl you make the closest most trustworthy of friends or MARRY... ok well maybe not lol but she shouldnt be someone you just "hook up" with.

youre damn lucky to be in this situation... perhaps fated? some people dont get special opportunities.

NOTE: the entire time i typed this ive been considering not typing it. if you go there acting like shes special and completely agreeing with me, youll be an AFC and lose it all. some people say ignorance is bliss, but i beleive that having knowledge along with the ability to CONQUER the knowledge is bliss. basically what im getting at is... youre already being attractive and funny etc.. dont change it. but look into the future and consider larger things as possibilities. thats all im saying.

 

[Slickster]

Very cool situation.

You are probably feeling that this girl is your soul mate or something but as someone said. Its been a long time and don't confuse all the great memories of the past with the reality of today. You really have no idea whether you and this chick would hit it off as a couple.

Making a move too soon could blow things right up in your face. It would suck to ruin a great friendship but if the signals are there you should try something.

Keep us posted. Very interesting.

 

[CLOONEY]

I would definately try something, nothing to loose!! Plus if she is THAT interested sounds like she is infatuated, just as you are, even though you might be denying it!!

I have seen this scenario happen twice with one of my closest friends (female), she is absolutely stunning. Two guys she was best friends with when she was young came and visited her (at different times), sent her nice pics etc etc, but then when they arrived she said they were ugly as hell!! I am sure this is not you, and she is probably one of the most picky girls I have ever met when it comes to guys she is going to date, but I am just pointing out my observations on this same scenario.

Good luck, and definately keep us posted.

 

[Drex]

Ok I'm liking some of this advice and I appreciate the feedback. Couple of things. I didnt really mean "hook up" like she's just some b!tch I dont care about (totally untrue). I really do care about her and if anything did happen it would have to be sincere.

I think I am just going to play it cool and go there as a friend but be very C&F and flirty/kino with her and see how she responds.

Here's another thing I did not mention. She's always been sort of a tom-boy. Has always had more guy friends than girl friends. Infact I just found out that she's going out of town to visit a guy-friend of hers that just got back from Iraq. So maybe she really just likes having guy friends and maybe I'm just one of them and that's it...I dunno...we'll see.