So I'm drunk and confused and I'm gonna rant about it.

[Chimera]

So basically, I have no idea what the hell is going on. I've always had a problem with people (especially girls). For about 5 years now I've been completely obsessed with figuring out why. After years of reading this forum, studying pragmatics, and learning all about psychology, I still can't find a single thing I'm doing wrong. It's like I've got some sort of crazy aura that makes everyone repulsed by me.

I mean, people generally try to avoid talking to me, but the rare times that they do, it always seems like they're having the best time of their lives. I consider myself a witty guy and a whole lot of times people even end up quoting me on myspace or to their friends. It's kind of hard to explain, especially right now, but once these people stop having a reason to talk to me, they just get rude, like I've offended them or something.

I don't think I carry myself poorly or anything. I'm pretty damn sure of myself actually. I try to live without fear and will do all sorts of crazy things that a lot of people wouldn't even consider. I've done so much research on body language and technically, I'm not doing a damned thing wrong. I'm extremely OCD about hygiene, and am actually a pretty good looking guy (I'd say an 8/10). WHAT THE HELL!?! SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT.

Just to give a clearer picture of how bad it actually is, I'll give an example:

So I was at this sorority party tonight and everyone's drunk and dancing. The whole night, whenever I tried to get a girl to dance, they'd just look at me like I killed their family or something and walk away. This happened about 15 times or so. Every time it was the same damn thing. Even the UGs.

It isn't just at parties though. People I know have no respect whatsoever for me and it's not like I try to prove myself to them. They just think that I should have to. That's when I completely drop them. That's why I've got exactly 2 friends right now. I mean, it's not necessarily a problem, cause I kinda got used to being alone, but I still have to wonder why...

Girls? Whenever I approach them in any way, shape, or form that isn't commercial or class-related, they straight out say "Don't talk to me!" or "Get away!" Again, the girls that do have a reason to talk to me seem like they're having a great time until they don't have a reason anymore. Then they're just like everyone else. Again, this is even the UGs.

So it'd be awesome if anyone has an idea as to what could be going on. If you need more info, I'll answer any questions you've got. If you're just gonna flame me though (and I've got no idea why you would), I couldn't really give a ****. That's about it. It's about 4 am so I'm gonna sleep and probably wake up feeling like ass. Later.

P.S. Don't bother just telling me to read the Bible. I've read it so many ****ing times.

 

[ChrizZ]

This is a tough one. You say you do everything right hmm....

Has something bad happened in the past to you that make people look at you a certain way?

Other than that I can only tell you to always be upfront with people. Call them out on their sh!t in a civilized manor though.

There has to be something you are doing wrong. I get the impression that you are hiding something from us

 

[Chimera]

Well, I may have forgotten to mention that I don't believe in wearing pants...

Seriously though, I'm not sure I'm doing everything right, but everything I've ever seen, read, or heard about kind of tells me that I am. If I was hiding something, maybe I'd at least have an idea of what was going on.

 

[Bvbidd]

Post a pic, your appearance may be why you get no respect.

Keep in mind though, nobody's gonna respect you for no reason. They have to have a reason to. What do you offer as a person to get people to respect you in the first place?

In my own opinion though, the way you describe girls saying "get away!" makes me think it's probally you appearance. So post a pic.

 

[BCOMusic]

yea this is wierd,

I guess if you didn't care what people thought, and you weren't trying to prove something to everyone else, then why are you posting this?

I respect you.

You must hang around fags who have nothing better to do with their lives then find people to disrespect.

It all boils down to sex anyways, just like everything else.

Get a hooker or something.

Get your life on track, everything else will come to you.

PRIORITIES!

You are repulsing people because you are repulsive

You are repulsive because you think you are repulsive.

If you think you are a cute charming irresistable fellow

And I mean you wake up and go to sleep and everywhere in between, think you are a cute charming irresistable fellow

guess what, you are a cute charming irresistable fellow

that's life in the simplest means possible.

 

[Chimera]

Well, thanks for the input so far guys.

Bvbidd, when I say respect, I mean, like, the basic respect somebody would give anyone. Also, here's the only pic I could find of myself online. Can't figure out how to upload from my phone. http://img99.imageshack.us/my.php?image=wowcopyyh7.gif
(The W isn't for west side. It's for World of Warcraft :rockon: Also, I was completely drunk in this pic if you couldn't tell)

BCO, I used to really care about it, but over time, it became more of a curiosity thing than anything else. As far as I'm concerned, I'm ****ing awesome, but I just can't seem to understand why nobody else thinks so. Doesn't make any sense to me...

 

[Serialized3]

That's unfortunate, man.

If I had to take a guess at it, I would say that you probably have subtle body language or para language cues that you give off when you're interacting with other people that turn them off to you. I might be way off base about this, but ask maybe a casual acquaintance what he or she interprets from you by the way you talk and carry yourself.

 

[Bvbidd]

Well I can tell you BCOMusic is completly wrong. I'm going to be brutally honest and save the bullsh!t for real logic.

You are only what others preceive you be. That is what you are. What others think you are.

Thinking your great when others don't think the same, is mental masturbation and pretty damn pathetic.

You are only what others see you as. If others think your a loser, then sorry.. you are infact a loser. This doesn't mean you can't fix it though.

I also think your making your problem seem bigger than it actually is. From your picture you look like an alright guy, very skinny but not ugly.

Mabye your too drunk? And they notice it? It could be that simple.

 

[BCOMusic]

You are only what others preceive you be. That is what you are. What others think you are.

You are only what others see you as. If others think your a loser, then sorry.. you are infact a loser. This doesn't mean you can't fix it though.

I don't live my life like this.
Why would you ever let other people define you like that. If someone thinks your a loser, who gives a ****. If you have no self esteem issues, it makes no difference what someone thinks.

Your telling this kid to let everyone else define him
That is absurd

Don't even bother responding to me dude, this isn't my post, I'm helping someone out in my way, with my experiences, it has nothing to do with you going on peoples post to DEBUNK someone who is trying to help. I'm sure you think you're some gift to this great earth but shut the fck up:kick:


Back to CHIMERA...

Just be what you are, spend your time finding out exactly what that is. What makes you feel happy, what you want in your life.

Genuinely care about the people around you, but not what they think of you. Just be as polite as possible.

I see what your saying about being curious, but there a whole lot of reasons why someone might be judging you.

Another BIGGIE I think someone said earlier was Reputation.

I can see what you would mean if people were paintin you as something you aren't and you wanted to get away from that.

I just think it's more important to get your life in order rather than adhere to people who are most likely judging you to further there own social status.

I'm saying that if you are thinking about this when you are interacting with someone, they are going to pick up on it.

But socially its all just confusion and bull**** anyways. I think its better to keep people as acquintances, but it takes more courage to live your life towards the alone side.

If it really bothers you make a change. But I don't see anything you are doing wrong, other than trying to win over the wrong people.

 

[Bvbidd]

BCOMUSIC, what I mean is..

Do you have any friends? Why are they your friends? Because they define you as somebody good enough to hang with em. You do the very same thing.

The reason you got them, was because of what THEY thought.

I'm not saying kill yourself if somebody doesn't like you. I'm saying there is a reason they don't like you. That's it. If it matters to you, then fix it.

 

[BCOMusic]

You and I both know that you are right,

but it's like, I actually care about people, and who they are, and why they live, and me connecting with them.

not just if they are "good" enough or if im "good" enough

I try to see the good in everyone, because I've played the game where I look at the bad.

you are absolutely right that these people don't like him for a reason.

i'm saying that he might not even be right about thinking that these people don't like him, he might just be making himself into that, when in reality no one dislikes him.

It's like if I go out, meet you at a bar, and I'm trying to get you to be my friend, thats pathetic

If i go out to a bar, and I sit next to you and am interested in chilling out with you making jokes, having a good time just chilling as home boys, than thats totally different

the thought of whether I am good enough, or you are good enough doesn't even cross my mind because i respect people that deserve it which in my world is alot of people

 

[BCOMusic]

BCOMUSIC, what I mean is..

Do you have any friends? Why are they your friends? Because they define you as somebody good enough to hang with em. You do the very same thing.

The reason you got them, was because of what THEY thought.

I'm not saying kill yourself if somebody doesn't like you. I'm saying there is a reason they don't like you. That's it. If it matters to you, then fix it.

to relate this to CHIMERA

What makes someone GOOD enough

High Value

what makes you high value?

Just thinking of yourself as high value?

That's what I'm saying...

You have to become high value somehow.

And the easiest way, is to accomplish so much in your life that you truly believe you are high value.

I would like to hear your input on this though and im sure chimera would as well.

 

[Bvbidd]

And the easiest way, is to accomplish so much in your life

That's exactly my point, you accomplish this for others. If you just thought you were high value without doing this, you would still be low value.