"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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So I'm at a crossroad

christz

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I'm a little confused as to where i stand, all signs lead to me getting with this girl but there's one thing that i can't seem to shake

in the short, basiclly i've been talking to this girl for about 3 months, we aren't dateing we just talk, have fun and joke around i do all the right things and of course i let her persue me.

she even goes as far as to "involintarily" say things that involve us doing things together, "well if we were to date blah blah"

so all good signs, i even get this girl hot and bothered as she's told me she's had dreams "wet" ones that of me tappin that sweet a$$ lol not to mention she actually wants me to.

needless to say you would think, dude you got it all in the bag. BUT i don't at least it may seem like i don't she has this guy that's known her for years a good friend of her's that recently confessed his feelings, and they did have a thing in the past and she's brought him up a few times saying how they're probably gonna date etc..

however anytime she brings it up and i spark up conversation about why they don't "label" themselvs she says she doesn't know she even stopped herself short by saying and my boy-- err whatever "guy" is.

so i dunno where i stand, honestly she may like me and she may not, i mean it matters not what she likes i was just curious where i stand. because it totally confuses me
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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PRMoon

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What exactly are you seeking from this "relationship" with this girl?
 

christz

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i really wanna get with her and maybe start up a STR which can possibly develop into an LTR

but i'm by no means suffering oneitis i just see her like that because she's that "type" of girl that would treat you like a king if you were with her and i like that in a girl. not to mention she gives me respect like no other
 

PRMoon

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well if you like her that much why not strategize a way to get with her? You'd have to do it in away so as not to tip your hand. The last think you want is her thinking she has "options" ie choosing between you and her friend from the past. You don't need that drama. So you'd probably have to bank on an outside shot, a way to get her all worked up over you and then, after you've pushed her to the brink, suprise her with heavy physical contact.

I don't know your exact situation or your positioning but one of my boys has pulled something like that off in the past. It was brilliant becasue he was patient with it and worked it to a key. He actually looked at her concidering dating someone else as an advantage for him.

I would think if she's confessed to you about having wet dreams featuring you, then you're probably better off then he was as he had much fewer signs and signals. They use to just hang out and stuff at parties and in diners, they had some intimate conversations but nothing that deep. Use your mind, chances are you already have a plan but you're worried about the outcome so you're not implementing it.
 

Jus_LikeCandy

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If she talks about this guy with you, chances are, she doesn't see you in that dating way. She sees you as a friend with a possible hookup in the future, probably nothing more.

She probably really like this guy that she keeps mentioning. She may be letting you know that she is torn between the two of you. Especially, if she almost calls him the boyfriend.....
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Qmanchoo

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Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
If she talks about this guy with you, chances are, she doesn't see you in that dating way. She sees you as a friend with a possible hookup in the future, probably nothing more.

She probably really like this guy that she keeps mentioning. She may be letting you know that she is torn between the two of you. Especially, if she almost calls him the boyfriend.....
bullsh!t

She was testing your interest level talking about this other guy, seeing how you would react. You did the right thing and didn't get jealous or anything stupid like that.

If she wasn't interested in fvcking you she wouldn't be talking to you about it.

If she wanted him as her boyfriend exclusively it would have happened by now and you'd be out of the picture.

Confessing feelings? haha, that guy doesn't stand much of a chance now. Don't worry about him.

She's only talking to him for the attention and probably sappy lovey dovey comments and the feelings they give her, however they are not attraction feelings so she will get bored of these quickly. However she sounds sexually attracted to you. You're triggering another set emotions that she also likes, and obviously a lot more.

boy...whatever = Not her boyfriend.

Girls opnions of you sway with her emotions, and her emotions can change faster than you can blink should you communicate with her correctly, and it seems as though you have.

All in all take my advice with a grain of salt because I don't know your exact situation, only the interpretation through text. However I believe I'm fairly correct here and you stand in a favorable position.

And the last piece of advice.

Don't fvcking worry about the other guy, just keep doing what been working and progress slowly. She has wet dream about you man!
 

mrmoe

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"saying how they're probably gonna date"

Well, why aren't they dating? That's her cue to you to make a move, and soon! She's definitely testing you here.
 

Qmanchoo

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Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
Okay...men know more about females than other females.....is that what this Don Juan teaches you??
ha, how cute...but not really. *pinches your cheek*

Christz , green light man! :up:
 
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