So if "nice guy syndrome" is based in fear . .

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

. . and we remove that fear. What is left? What if its something dark?

Does this not trouble anyone else?

The other night I told some girl to stop being such a flake and answer my f*cking question. I was wasted, but still . . how do I avoid being THAT guy and still have the self-confidence/worth to be a DJ?

 

[Interceptor]

Once you've realized your fear was irrational, all you have left is love.

The 'dark' side IS the FEAR. So once that is removed, you look at everything as GRADATIONS of Love.

Everything is looked at as having a certain degree of Love, instead of good/bad Duality type thinking.
Meaning, how MUCH love is there in that person, or how little is there.
Bascially, the abundance or lack of Love is really what we should be concerning ourselves with.

 

[COD]

not sure if being wasted, spewing "answer my f--king question" while being with a girl is indicative of being a "nice guy".

Fear is based upon perception.........we can learn to be comfortable with it through exposure. Confidence has a great deal to do with being comfortable. A lot of nice guys are not confident...... enough. On the other hand tons of "fearless smucks" out there that have not got a clue of how to be nice.

I think its doing nice things that women truly desire.........not being nice 24-7. Does that mean if nice guy goes out of his way to do nice things he should see immediate success............NO, not even the slightest bit.

Maintain that alpha-male, slight bad-boy image but occassionally let the nice things out.........well at least after she's hooked. Just don't make a habit of it.

OR change your definition of nice...........or the woman's definition.

 

[daygameguy]

Nice guy = supplicating, clingy, needy, whining, negative, curses his life all the time, will do anything to be with a girl.

DJ = dictator of own principles, self assured, decisive, optimistic, patient, good guy with alpha (non wussy) characteristics.

 

[SharinganUser]

Nice guys are full of fear.

As my little green friend once said: "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you."

I once knew a 60 year old "nice guy." On the surface he was nice but after you got to know him, he was "supplicating, clingy, needy, whining, negative, curses his life all the time, will do anything to be with a girl," and a racist womanizing virgin.

Is that really a path you want to go down simply because you fear not being a nice guy???

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

No, I am committed to this now. I guess I just need to ignore these "what if" type fears.

not sure if being wasted, spewing "answer my f--king question" while being with a girl is indicative of being a "nice guy".

Well, it was said in a ****y half-joking manner . . Not seriously. And I apologized when I discovered it upset here. Should I have even apologized? This isn't someone I'm after BTW, just some girl.