So, I messed up. Apologize or leave it?

[SmoothTalker]

Here's the deal.

A few weeks ago my ipod went missing from my house. I clearly remember bringing it home and leaving it on a table, and the next day I could not find it ANYWHERE. I was not drunk or anything else that would explain the memory lapse.

Anyway, the night that it went missing, I had a friend/former **** buddy at my house, who was in the room with the ipod alone for a few minutes while I used the bathroom, and I didn't notice if it was there when I came out, but I never saw it after that. This friend is somebody that has a history of doing stupid **** when emotional (which she was that night) and has admitted to some minor shoplifting.

Long story short, after looking EVERYWHERE multiple times and asking anyone that could possibly have seen/moved it, I came to the only conclusion I saw, which is that she stole it.

I confronted her and **** hit the fan because she didn't like being accused of theft and I was certain she had it.. The end result is that we have been completely no contact since then and a fairly good friendship died.

The problem is that today, my ipod turned up. I still don't know how it possibly could have gotten to where it was, but I'm not going to make up crazy theories and say she planted it there or something.

The bottom line is, I ****ed up, and was entirely wrong.


So, here is my dilemma. We are not talking, but given that I was wrong, I feel I should apologize.

On the one hand that might look week, and besides, the friendship is probably beyond repair.

On the other hand, we still have mutual friends, and anything I could do to minimize the tension seems like a good idea.

Thoughts? I'm thinking I should just man up and admit my mistake.

 

[Eternal87]

If you still care about your friendship with her you'll apologize. Right now it isn't about looking weak, you already look like a complete ass in her eyes.

Being weak means you lack the balls to take responsibility for yor actions.

Apologize for accusing her without proof. But do it in a way where you keep your self-respect. She may or may not forgive you, that's not your choice to make.

 

[katatonia]

The problem is that today, my ipod turned up. I still don't know how it possibly could have gotten to where it was, but I'm not going to make up crazy theories and say she planted it there or something.

Umm how else would it have appeared there? My guess is SHE DID take it.

You don't have proof whether she did or didn't take it, so do not apologise. Hell I wouldn't apologise even if she had proof she didn't take it.

 

[DJ_Tekinkel]

Just go with the benefit of the doubt

if you value the friendship then you have to apologize since you falsely accused

When you do mention why your apologizing (you value the relationship) and she will realize she does to, itll click in her head.



A DJ isn't an *******... if you're wrong you apologize. Just dont be a wuss. If she is a ***** to you, then say "well i apologized, cya"
she'll feel guilty for not accepting it and then organize a lunch of your shout to make up for it.
then all good!

 

[SmoothTalker]

Unless she knows how to break into cars with alarm systems without leaving any sign (not likely) she didn't plant it. I am guessing it fell into someone's bag or was picked up with some papers that were lying near it and dropped in the back seat by accident.

I know I haven't been in that back seat in a long time, so it's not like I accidentally forgot it there. The above theories are long shots but when you eliminate the impossible what's left is what must have happened.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Yeah you should definitely apologize.

 

[Cinamon]

Yeah, just apologize to her. Hopefully if you are as good friends as you say you are, she will firget bout it.