So I found myself getting jealous. I've got 4 options

[Dan08]

Won't go into major details here but I found myself getting jealous of a fwb talking to other guys but it's not even a FWB thing it's like we're currently in a relationship without the label. Seriously, my friends always ask etc
She doesn't want one and tbf the only reason I would, would to know she wasn't sleepin around etc.

So I gotta sort this out, because if I'm getting jealous I'm only gonna wind up hurt in the long run when she finds someone else or moves on etc as what is jealousy if not a sign of me thinking she should be mine alone and the feelings that come with that.

I see 4 options.

1. Say I'm happy with what we have currently but want exclusivity on the sex
2. Say we cut out the couple ****, she comes round, we **** and she leaves.
3. Say I'm happy with what we have and leave it alone.
4. End it.

So far I'm thinking 1,2,4 in that order. 3 isn't an option

 

[sylvester the cat]

if 3 isn't an option then why is it in your list of options?

 

[Dan08]

if 3 isn't an option then why is it in your list of options?

Because maybe someone on here can actually make it viable to me.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Because maybe someone on here can actually make it viable to me.

spin plates and talk to other girls. then it will be viable. if you're relying on a FWB for your only source of sexual pleasure then what is the point in her being a FWB?

unless you want her to be more? in that case this thread ought to be entitled 'how to turn my fwb into a relationship'.

 

[TheException]

Won't go into major details here but I found myself getting jealous of a fwb talking to other guys but it's not even a FWB thing it's like we're currently in a relationship without the label. Seriously, my friends always ask etc
She doesn't want one

No.....its not a "relationship without the label".....what the he11 is that sh1t? I bolded above the truth. SHE DOESNT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

But here's a better question. Why are you so desperate to get into a relationship with this women. Major thing we preach on this site is to never concern yourself with "relationships". When men do this.....you are coming from a position of weakness and are almost guaranteed to lose the woman.

I see 4 options.

1. Say I'm happy with what we have currently but want exclusivity on the sex
2. Say we cut out the couple ****, she comes round, we **** and she leaves.
3. Say I'm happy with what we have and leave it alone.
4. End it.

So far I'm thinking 1,2,4 in that order. 3 isn't an option

Option 5. Keep having sex with her and stop acting so needy and pathetic. If you find yourself constantly thinking about being exclusive with her....just stop contacting her.

 

[Igetit!]

Won't go into major details here but I found myself getting jealous of a fwb talking to other guys but it's not even a FWB thing it's like we're currently in a relationship without the label. Seriously, my friends always ask etc
She doesn't want one and tbf the only reason I would, would to know she wasn't sleepin around etc.

So I gotta sort this out, because if I'm getting jealous I'm only gonna wind up hurt in the long run when she finds someone else or moves on etc as what is jealousy if not a sign of me thinking she should be mine alone and the feelings that come with that.

I see 4 options.

1. Say I'm happy with what we have currently but want exclusivity on the sex
2. Say we cut out the couple ****, she comes round, we **** and she leaves.
3. Say I'm happy with what we have and leave it alone.
4. End it.

So far I'm thinking 1,2,4 in that order. 3 isn't an option

Well if you're jealous,that means you're emotionally involved/attached....

Not good for a fwb situation. Whatever you do,DON'T LET HER KNOW you got your emotions involved.


Only question I have is.....

What do you want with this chick? Cause it's starting to seem that you want to be FWB.....with a COMMITMENT. And that commitment being on her end ONLY.......meaning you want to go out and sleep with other chicks,but she sleep with you AND ONLY you.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Won't go into major details here but I found myself getting jealous of a fwb talking to other guys but it's not even a FWB thing it's like we're currently in a relationship without the label. Seriously, my friends always ask etc
She doesn't want one and tbf the only reason I would, would to know she wasn't sleepin around etc.

So I gotta sort this out, because if I'm getting jealous I'm only gonna wind up hurt in the long run when she finds someone else or moves on etc as what is jealousy if not a sign of me thinking she should be mine alone and the feelings that come with that.

I see 4 options.

1. Say I'm happy with what we have currently but want exclusivity on the sex
2. Say we cut out the couple ****, she comes round, we **** and she leaves.
3. Say I'm happy with what we have and leave it alone.
4. End it.

So far I'm thinking 1,2,4 in that order. 3 isn't an option

5. Say nothing. Spin more plates.

If she wanted to be in an exclusive relationship with you, she would would have brought it up herself. Clearly, she is not interested in that. What you need to do is spin more plates and gradually phase her out (she's doing the same with you).

 

[Dan08]

No.....its not a "relationship without the label".....what the he11 is that sh1t? I bolded above the truth. SHE DOESNT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

But here's a better question. Why are you so desperate to get into a relationship with this women. Major thing we preach on this site is to never concern yourself with "relationships". When men do this.....you are coming from a position of weakness and are almost guaranteed to lose the woman.

Option 5. Keep having sex with her and stop acting so needy and pathetic. If you find yourself constantly thinking about being exclusive with her....just stop contacting her.

Might as well just say option 2 mate, and yes I've read the thread things women say and what they mean mate but no one likes to be told that actually nah I'll pass on a relationship with you.

Cuz there is no option 5, I can't split the sex and the **** we do outside of that down the middle and won't kid myself otherwise.

 

[Dan08]

Well if you're jealous,that means you're emotionally involved/attached....

Not good for a fwb situation. Whatever you do,DON'T LET HER KNOW you got your emotions involved.


Only question I have is.....

What do you want with this chick? Cause it's starting to seem that you want to be FWB.....with a COMMITMENT. And that commitment being on her end ONLY.......meaning you want to go out and sleep with other chicks,but she sleep with you AND ONLY you.

I'd match the commitment, I'm not a ****. If she went with it, I'd drop sex with other girls.

 

[Jaylan]

I'd match the commitment, I'm not a ****. If she went with it, I'd drop sex with other girls.

Considering your jealousy and attachment, you guys becoming sexually exclusive would basically constitute a relationship.

Go talk to other women dude. You dont have to screw the other women if you dont want to (especially if youre concerned about health), but itll help keep your head clear because youll have other options.

 

[Dan08]

Considering your jealousy and attachment, you guys becoming sexually exclusive would basically constitute a relationship.

Go talk to other women dude. You dont have to screw the other women if you dont want to (especially if youre concerned about health), but itll help keep your head clear because youll have other options.

There in lies my problem fella, I need other options that I don't have and likely won't get anytime soon.
But I appreciate the advice.

As of now I'm thinking ending it is the best way to go here, rip the bandaid off so to speak rather than peel it off slowly over the coming months and occasionally kid myself and slap it back on...

 

[donking]

You're screwed man. You have to get a girl who asks YOU where this is headed. If you initiate the conversation, it's not gonna end well.

YOu need to let her know you have options. Create some mystery man. Don't be so available.

That said, sometimes if a girl really likes you (before you agree to a relationship), she'll mention other men to test you.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

you are coming from a position of weakness and are almost guaranteed to lose the woman.

This is very true, and something guys don't realize. Guys want to put a "title" on a relationship out of insecurity. Even if you don't recognize it as insecurity, it is. You are unsure and insecure about the "future" with her, so you want to quickly rush a title into it because that will ease your mind and make you feel comfortable.

The truth is, a title doesn't change anything and usually, when a guys suggests it, it will turn women off.

You need to chill out, breathe and take things slowly. Let things build, and keep your emotions out of it.

 

[Dan08]

Ok sorting this out tonight. I'll tell her how it's gotta regress to just sex as lines have been crossed and muddied.
At least with sex im getting someone while trying to find a better girl and I can split it away from what this confusing situation currently is.
If she doesn't want to revert back to that then I end it simple as.

 

[aquilonBE]

Don't tell her what is going to happen, just do it.

Telling her won't help and could possibly push her away. Just keep hitting it whilst cutting out the relationship crap. This way you will get what you want and if she wants more she'll be the one bringing it up.