Vice
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2007
- Messages
- 2,004
- Reaction score
- 186
For a long time, I've always wondered why I have so much trouble making friends. I'm a friendly guy, I take things lightheartedly, and I greet everyone I see.
But I realized that I didn't have any close friends, only acquaintances. No one I could really relate to.
Then, today, on my second run through David DeAngelo's Deep Inner Game, I learned that the reason for this is that people tend to get into relationships with each other based on their level of maturity. And my level of maturity at this point is higher than most of the people around me.
I find myself to relate better to people who are equal to, or more mature than me. Last night, I hung out with two of my older friends, and I wasn't really having too much fun with them because they were acting immature. They were being funny, but immature. These are the same guys that I went to a Blink-182 concert with, and I didn't have much fun there at all either (the guys in Blink-182 are really immature).
Another example is the fact that I'm in college. I live in the dorms, along with all the other single guys and girls that are about my age. And I'm not friends with ANY of them. They're LOUD. Last night I had trouble sleeping because they were having a party at 2 in the morning, and for some strange reason were screaming at each other loud enough for me to hear their conversation through my window about 200 feet away, even though they were standing next to each other.
So it's good to know that the problem for once isn't ME, but the majority of other people out there. DeAngelo says that there's a shortage of mature people out there with good personal boundaries.
But I realized that I didn't have any close friends, only acquaintances. No one I could really relate to.
Then, today, on my second run through David DeAngelo's Deep Inner Game, I learned that the reason for this is that people tend to get into relationships with each other based on their level of maturity. And my level of maturity at this point is higher than most of the people around me.
I find myself to relate better to people who are equal to, or more mature than me. Last night, I hung out with two of my older friends, and I wasn't really having too much fun with them because they were acting immature. They were being funny, but immature. These are the same guys that I went to a Blink-182 concert with, and I didn't have much fun there at all either (the guys in Blink-182 are really immature).
Another example is the fact that I'm in college. I live in the dorms, along with all the other single guys and girls that are about my age. And I'm not friends with ANY of them. They're LOUD. Last night I had trouble sleeping because they were having a party at 2 in the morning, and for some strange reason were screaming at each other loud enough for me to hear their conversation through my window about 200 feet away, even though they were standing next to each other.
So it's good to know that the problem for once isn't ME, but the majority of other people out there. DeAngelo says that there's a shortage of mature people out there with good personal boundaries.
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