So I've been dating my current gf for over a year now. However recently we live far apart (about 1000miles) because of some personal stuff that I've got going on. Recently unemployed, homeless, etc. The move is only supposed to be about 3 months (didn't want to be homeless in winter) and I'm moving back. I ended up feeling very horny and it's stronger than usual. Maybe it's because of all of the women looking better than usual (I'm down south where the weather is unbelievable). I ended up meeting with an old flame (never ****ed until now) and ended up sleeping with her thus "cheating" on my gf in the other state. I deeply regret it (the sex was f*cking bad) & haven't told the gf. It really feels like I'm starting to go insane (the guilt is eating me alive). I don't know what to do. I understand the concept of "spinning plates" but like I said the guilt is eating me alive. Advice is greatly needed right now...
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
So I cheated now what?
- Thread starter ProDJ26
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Never admit anything to the gf.
Which was reason for the move now I have a place and employed
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Don't tell her.
However, this teaches you a valuable lesson- don't be a scumbag.
However, this teaches you a valuable lesson- don't be a scumbag.
l e g e n d a r y
Don Juan
As stated above, focus on making money and getting your financial game in order first, women are a FAR second. If you want your gf to break up with you and hate you and possibly develop trust issues with men for the rest of her life, then go ahead and tell her, some would say its the right thing to do, but as I mentioned here, there are many drawbacks to being completely honest.. even for her benefit, not just yours so that you "get away with it". I'd look at it as a life lesson.. if you're going to regret something later.. don't do it. Also, if you decide to not tell her (which is what I would do), to alleviate some of your guilt, realize this fact.. in any monogamous relationship, including marriages, at some point in the relationship, at least once.. one partner cheats on the other.. 75% of the time. This is from a study done, so it's probably actually higher than 75%. I don't think humans were designed to be monogamous so open relationships may be a good solution
She's your girlfriend. Not your wife. You don't owe her any loyalty and don't need to explain a goddamn thing. If you need something to feel bad about then think about the financial situation you're currently in. Get yourself out of that.
Thanks everyone for the replies I've decided to keep my mouth shut. Hell at this point it feels like it didn't even happen.
Sadly but true. After all whose to say she hasn't cheated on me? Not worried about this anymore thanks again guys I appreciate your input