So I actually made myself approach a girl who was exactly my taste tonight

[corrector]

Easier said than done. I'm deeply entrenched here - my house, job, friends and parents are all within 10 to 30 minutes from me

I know nobody in the city

Why is that?

 

[bigdave17]

Why is that?

why is what?

I started selling cars right after college, was very good at it so I just built my life here

my main best friends decided to stick in suburbs also so that made it hard to leave here.

 

[RickTheToad]

why is what?

I started selling cars right after college, was very good at it so I just built my life here

my main best friends decided to stick in suburbs also so that made it hard to leave here.

They have these new things called... Umm... AUTOMOBILES. You get in them, and believe it or not, they start and drive you to your destination. Ever hear of them? I know it's a new invention, so you may not have seen one yet. They're pretty cool. ;'p

 

[RickTheToad]

why is what?

I started selling cars right after college, was very good at it so I just built my life here

my main best friends decided to stick in suburbs also so that made it hard to leave here.

Do they get laid, or are they doing the five finger shuffle?

 

[corrector]

why is what?

I started selling cars right after college, was very good at it so I just built my life here

my main best friends decided to stick in suburbs also so that made it hard to leave here.

You can sell cars somewhere else though. Why do you have to sell cars there?

Your main best friends would be happy for you (if they are real friends) if you found someone rather than stay there alone.

Maybe you should listen to the advice of people here and move somewhere else.

 

[lamath]

You can sell cars somewhere else though. Why do you have to sell cars there?

Your main best friends would be happy for you (if they are real friends) if you found someone rather than stay there alone.

Maybe you should listen to the advice of people here and move somewhere else.

Im not a city guy , but i am the only one that doubt tje fact that there is no hot women around were Dave live.

He see them at the gym and at the bar, so they live around were he live.


Excuse imo

 

[Atom Smasher]

Easier said than done. I'm deeply entrenched here - my house, job, friends and parents are all within 10 to 30 minutes from me

I know nobody in the city

How far from a relatively big city do you live?

Everybody in the suburbs has the same problem.

However, if you work on your attraction level, you will start to find eligible women climbing out of the woodwork, even in the suburbs.

I still think the foremost thing you need to do is to work on chatting up both men and women in your day-to-day, because there is nothing more effective to build up social ease.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I was agreeing. Couldn't resist the editorial comment though.

Thanks for clarifying. I wasn’t quite sure what you were saying there.

 

[Chi Town]

1. Click on BigDave’s name.

2. Click ignore button.

3. All your fvcking Dave problems are solved.

So many people can’t do it. They gotta see the drama and even post in his threads and ridicule everyone else for participating like they are above it all.

Or you can ban him like yall did the Guys who actually contributed to the site.....what do you think about that?

 

[bigdave17]

Do they get laid, or are they doing the five finger shuffle?

Most of them get laid but a lot of them have very low to no standards (like most men)

My best friend's girl is kinda chubby, plus she can't have kids. So that would be a instant no for me. Another friend married an older woman with kids (yuk)

 

[bigdave17]

How far from a relatively big city do you live?

Everybody in the suburbs has the same problem.

However, if you work on your attraction level, you will start to find eligible women climbing out of the woodwork, even in the suburbs.

I still think the foremost thing you need to do is to work on chatting up both men and women in your day-to-day, because there is nothing more effective to build up social ease.

I'm 45 minutes from Chicago. I love occasionally partying in the city but I would hate to live there, just not my thing at all. The problem with the burbs is 2 fold - it's hard to find women who are my age and good looking but then a huge percentage of them tend to have kids (women without kids want to live in Chicago, women with kids want to live in suburbs)


As far as your last comment goes. I socialize with people all the time, especially at my job. It doesn't help me find attractive and quality women who want to date me

 

[bigdave17]

Im not a city guy , but i am the only one that doubt tje fact that there is no hot women around were Dave live.

He see them at the gym and at the bar, so they live around were he live.


Excuse imo

they exist but it's never in an easy to meet situation. Approaching at the gym is incredibly daunting, as is approaching at malls and bars

 

[Murk]

Bro text her, I wanna see some drama unfold

 

[bigdave17]

How did you get this girls number Dave? Was the outcome independent, no agenda approach really so daunting as you make all of these other scenarios seem?

That no agenda approach can be highly productive everywhere. All of the time. In any situation.

You need to repeat it and hammer that into your thick head to break through this irrational thinking.

You need to stop thinking 20 steps ahead with every woman you lay eyes on and just focus on being confident and comfortable with the approach.

It doesn’t matter if she ends up having kids, or if you find some other reason to dislike a woman. It doesn’t matter if you get the number and never reach out.

What matters is that you get so good and so comfortable with approaching women without an ounce of outcome dependence that all of those beautiful women just get lost in the mix and are merely coincidental in crossing paths with you.

A lot will fall in place after that. Naturally. Problems begin to fix themselves. Behaviors will change without you trying so hard. It will get easier.

Replicate success, Dave. You already did it. You already conquered it. You have proven you are capable and good at it.

Now do it again. And again. And again. Bathe in it until it bores you and you get thirsty for risk, rather than thirsty for acceptance. That alone, Dave, will radically change the way women see you. It has a compounding, domino effect that makes everything after much more flexible and forgiving. There will be more room for error and small mistakes. It will make it easier to recover from and regain control.

Trust me on this.

Everything seems impossible to you now because you have no room for error. One misstep and you’re done. This can be changed.

she was a rare girl who fit my taste who lives near me and I made myself approach her and her friend (which was very difficult)

only few other situations do I really encounter women who fit my taste. The biggest number of them I see are at my gym but I still can't figure out how to overcome the headphones issue

 

[sosousage]

she was a rare girl who fit my taste who lives near me and I made myself approach her and her friend (which was very difficult)

only few other situations do I really encounter women who fit my taste. The biggest number of them I see are at my gym but I still can't figure out how to overcome the headphones issue

you throw their phone through the window and say it had spider on it

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD



nah jk, but doing it in gym seems tryhard

 

[Atom Smasher]

Or you can ban him like yall did the Guys who actually contributed to the site.....what do you think about that?

I think your idea sucks.

 

[bigdave17]

That's an odd response coming from a man who claims to have fairly reasonable and simple tastes in women when he's called out on having standards that are too high...

Dave.... here's the deal:

Next Monday morning I have to get up at 4 am for work, which means I will be turning in fairly early Sunday night. On Sunday night, before I turn in, I am going to check the main forum here and look for a new thread from you stating how you went about getting another woman's phone number with an outcome independent approach that worked for you here.

If I do not see that thread, Dave, I am putting in my vote with the mods to have you permanently banned from SS (some have already put their votes in). Not a slap on the wrist, not a little break, but permanently banned. It will not be because others are begging and itching for it to happen. It will not even be because you're a difficult man to work with. It will only be because it is blaringly obvious to me that you are so scared to death of what you actually want that you are willing to move the goal posts in any way possible, whether you know it or not, to make any suggestion given to you on how to succeed seem like an unlikely, improbable and even impossible avenue to success.

This is a man who cannot be helped. This is a man with no purpose behind asking questions and seeking advice. This is a man who has no purpose in his presence.

I am certain nobody grabbed you by the hand and dragged you kicking and screaming to turn you into a successful salesman.

I am certain nobody grabbed you by the hand and dragged you kicking and screaming into the gym to lose weight and build some muscle.

I am certain nobody grabbed you by the hand and dragged you kicking and screaming toward any facet of true success in your life, and I can assure you, nobody is going to grab your hand and drag you kicking and screaming toward a great woman.

You have to go out there and make it happen.

This very thread is a testimonial to the fact you are capable of doing it. It is testimony to the fact that it is not unlikely, improbable or impossible. It exists purely because it was already done. Success in this aspect was achieved. If you are too afraid to repeat it, if you are going to throw hurdles and excuses into the way to avoid repeating it, if you're going to respond with more reasons why it cannot be done, then your presence here has no purpose.

I'm looking forward to seeing that thread.

Its not that my standards are impossible...i live in suburbs, finding quality dateable mid to late 20s women with no kids is hard man. Especially with me only wanting somebody who works out

 

[Atom Smasher]

People who are banned are people who contribute strife and ill-will to the site, along with a sustained disdain for moderation. If they also occasionally provide(d) good content, I always feel it's a shame that they were so pig-headed that they had to force our hand and deprive the site of good insights.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Its not that my standards are impossible...i live in suburbs, finding quality dateable mid to late 20s women with no kids is hard man. Especially with me only wanting somebody who works out

45 minutes from Chicago? That's not bad or prohibitive at all.

I've got to tell you, dude... I used to spend a lot of time in the Chicago subs (around the Waukeegan area), and I found it ridiculously easy to pull attractive girls, even though I didn't know what I was doing. In fact, to this day I occasionally tell people how different and easy it is in Chicago than in NY.

Every trip out there netted me attractive companionship. If ever there was an easy environment, it's the Midwest in my experience.

Come to New York and you'll realize how hard it actually is. You've got the world at your fingertips, if only you will see that.

 

[Atom Smasher]

she was a rare girl who fit my taste who lives near me and I made myself approach her and her friend (which was very difficult)

only few other situations do I really encounter women who fit my taste. The biggest number of them I see are at my gym but I still can't figure out how to overcome the headphones issue

I keep telling you that you're far too particular, and you keep on posting about how few women fit your taste.

You're in boot camp, bro. Work on yourself with less than ideal women and then work your way up to your taste. You have to earn the right to date better women.

I assume the "headphone issue" is that they're working out with headphones and you can't make conversation. If that's correct, the solution is eye contact, a nod and a friendly half-smile. She will find a way to get near you without her headphones on.