Jokerlsk said:
The thing is that I've always been a non-conformist. I've always strayed away from what others do. I've never isolated myself, but i always have made my decisions based on what I want to do. I'm a deep thinker, and I hate to admit this but I'm a great poet/song writer. That's what I'm best at. The thing is that no one knows the true me because I don't let people inside my head. I don't let people read me like a book. I've always stood up for what I believe. That's what my dad has always taught me to do. That's what I've always done. I just feel like no one knows the inner me. That no one knows who I really am. I'm just another person to people, and I want to be viewed as I really am.
I have charisma, and kids look up to me. They just aren't looking up to the real me.
I'm a good public speaker. I'm not afraid of generic stuff. I think I'm really afraid of getting to know someone on a personal level. I guess I'm afraid of rejection. It's just so ironic because people look up to me because I'm confident. I know how to fake confidence. Some of my friends want to be the way they think I really am. I want to cease my phobia. I don't want to be afraid of rejection anymore. I don't want to make a joke of myself anymore. I want to show the world who I really am. I just wish I knew how to do this.
You'll notice I've bolded certain passages and italicized one other.
First off, the bold:
Do the bold passages not seem to bear some relation to one another? You don't let other people acknowledge and see the real you. This is the grand pitfall of modern society. People are afraid to voice themselves and their unique opinions regardless of how revolutionary their views may be. They are afraid of rejection (as you address later in the post), or criticism for not conforming to what the media has set forth as the ideal image. It's one thing to stray from the flock and think differently than others; but it's a much larger thing to have the balls and the courage to actually voice your opinion and let yourself be heard. You say you're a great poet/song writer. Why be ashamed of this? Why hate to say it? This is a good talent. As a writer, do you publish unique, stunning works that you never intend to release to the public? No! As a writer, your purpose is to convert thought to thing; to put pen to paper and let yourself be heard. This is just like real life. You need to let yourself be heard. Thinking is only half, or maybe even a third of the journey. The other fraction lies in putting those ideas into motion.
And on to the italicized passage, wherein lies your problem:
I think I'm really afraid of getting to know someone on a personal level. I guess I'm afraid of rejection.
Here is what you need to address. You can't be afraid of rejection. Pook and Mr. Fingers, both brilliant masterminds of this forum (who put their ideas into motion by sharing their knoweldge with us) have both said, that you need to fail to learn, that failure is a NECESSITY. You
cannot avoid failure. Remember this. No matter how far you try to run from failure it'll catch up you you at some point and bite you in the ass. You need to acknowledge its existence as a necessary evil. Although we all don't like failure, we need it to learn. When we fail, our brain takes in the experience as feedback on what it should do and shouldn't do in the future. This is how we progress, make discoveries, and evolve. When we fail, we learn to succeed. Just like Aerosmith said in one of their songs:
"You got to lose to know how to win."
Mr. Fingers also says that failure is not necessarily a bad thing, which he illustrates with the following story:
An old man and his son worked a small farm, with only one horse to pull the plow. One day the horse ran away.
"How terrible," sympathized the neighbors. "What bad luck!"
"Who knows whether it is bad or good luck" replied the farmer.
A week later, the horse returned from the mountains, leading five wild mares into the barn.
"What wonderful luck!" said the neighbors.
"Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?" answered the old man.
The next day the son, trying to tame one of the horses, fell and broke his leg.
"How horrible. What bad luck!"
"Bad luck? Good luck?"
The army came to all the farms to take young men for war, but the farmer's son was of no use to them, so he was spared.
"Good? Bad?"
Once you have handled and silenced your fear of rejection and failure you need to now learn how to open yourself up to others. You need to live in the MOMENT - don't focus on the past and what went wrong, nor focus on the future and whether or not tomorrow that hot chick in your english will talk to you or not. Live in the NOW and connect with whoever or whatever surrounds you. Realize where you are exactly, who you are, who that hot chick you're talking to right now is. See the details on her face, the colour of her eyes, her smile, as you talk to her. Breathe deeply and open yourself up. I read an exercise which takes only a few seconds on another forum and it works WONDERS. Imagine a trench running down the centre of your body, from your forehead to your manhood. Breathe and force air into this trench, and split it open, allowing yourself to open up and not be afraid of anything. Accept the current moment, the current situation. Really visualize this trench and not just see, but FEEL, genuinely FEEL it. Once you have opened up, empathize and put yourself in her shoes, in her situation. For a fleeting moment, travel to her world and, like souvenirs from a trip to Europe, bring back, to your reality, all the emotions she is experiencing right NOW. Synchronize with her. Now that you have an idea of the situation she's in, you find it so much easier to converse until, lost in the moment, where you stop THINKING, you suddenly feel a CLICK and understand that you two have just connected on a deeper level.
Realize that the NOW is the ONLY thing that exists. We only understand that there is a past due to our brain being able to recall events that DID exist. Realize that you are not your past. Who you are, or rather, THINK you are is merely a result of all the events in your past that have shaped and defined this image that your brain calls "you". You can start change, in the blink of an eye, by realizing that you are not your past experiences and that a shoe is no more itself than the footprint it leaves behind (thank you squirrels for this brilliant quote).
I hope this helped; this is a conglomeration of a few of the core mindsets which have really helped me along this journey to becoming a Don Juan.
If you want you can read up on where I mainly pulled these concepts from:
Authentic Confidence by Mr. Fingers
Why "Be Yourself" is the best advice in the world... and why no one gets it by squirrels
Let yourself fail! by Pook
Credit to these three DJs for giving us all such great insight.