So how do changes in game actually happen?

[moneyisking]

As we know, there are at least over maybe 1,000 concepts in seduction and PU, starting from big picture like confidence, self esteem, inner game, wanting to bone, evolution theory to details like body language, what to say in certain situations, kino, C+F, etc.

Literally, information are overwhelming, and as I constantly experience, things I read can almost NEVER be remembered or reminded when I talk to a girl. If you read about using kino or being c0cky/funny, it doesn't mean you start acting like that, b/c interaction with a girl is bit nerve wrecking to me.

So let's say you read about being c0cky/funny. You understand, you go out there, talk to a girl. But since you lack confidence, inner game or self-esteem, you get bit nervous and things that you read can't be remembered or even if they do, the fast paced convo outsmart you and lead you astray. You part from her without even having tried kino or CF, and you feel stupid.

This is most of the cases for me. So how do people actually develop if materials absorbed are never brought out b/c that's just the nature of human interaction? Sh!t, I am getting more clueless now days.

How do naturals know all the right things to say most of the time? it's not like they read any of our posts.

 

[scorpio1138]

For me I had to slowly get things going and progress.

They say "have confidence" great, how the heck do I conjure up confidence?

Get your butt to the gym or go running. Enhance your appearance, get some new clothes, do something new with your hair. All of those things will make you feel better about yourself and grow that confidence. When that happens, people notice. Girls will notice. Ever since I transformed myself a year ago I get looked at all the time by women who never would have before, because I didn't care about my appearance.

That will stoke your fire inside. After meeting with some women a few times I found I wasn't nervous about meeting them anymore. I enter the situation with no expectations. I've dated more girls in the last 6 months than I have in the last 15 years of my life.

there's one for ya.

 

[moneyisking]

For me I had to slowly get things going and progress.

They say "have confidence" great, how the heck do I conjure up confidence?

Get your butt to the gym or go running. Enhance your appearance, get some new clothes, do something new with your hair. All of those things will make you feel better about yourself and grow that confidence. When that happens, people notice. Girls will notice. Ever since I transformed myself a year ago I get looked at all the time by women who never would have before, because I didn't care about my appearance.

That will stoke your fire inside. After meeting with some women a few times I found I wasn't nervous about meeting them anymore. I enter the situation with no expectations. I've dated more girls in the last 6 months than I have in the last 15 years of my life.

there's one for ya.

I go to gym 5 times a week, good shape, and externally, I am not bad. I think all the problem is the inner side. When talking to a girl, I have no clue if what I say will arouse her, make her puke, stimulate her sexually, make her jump off cliff...

Although I read lot of sh!t, nothing really comes up when I am in field, in action and conversation. So then, how did formal AFC who turned out to be players in this forum do that?

 

[Donnie Darko]

I go to gym 5 times a week, good shape, and externally, I am not bad. I think all the problem is the inner side. When talking to a girl, I have no clue if what I say will arouse her, make her puke, stimulate her sexually, make her jump off cliff...

Although I read lot of sh!t, nothing really comes up when I am in field, in action and conversation. So then, how did formal AFC who turned out to be players in this forum do that?

How does anyone get good with anything? PRACTICE, PRACTICE, and more PRACTICE. With practice, you will gain more experience of what works and does not work for you.

 

[zekko]

How do naturals know all the right things to say most of the time? it's not like they read any of our posts.

Naturals don't know the right things to say, they're just being themselves. They just happen to be attractive, that's why they're naturals.

I would like to know more about the history of "game" though. I know at one time Mystery and a bunch of other PUAs were on a message board and they used to talk and go out and field test things and report back. But what did guys do before the internet? The internet is a fairly recent invention after all. Were there books in 1920 on picking up women? What about in 1720?

 

[moneyisking]

Naturals don't know the right things to say, they're just being themselves. They just happen to be attractive, that's why they're naturals.

I would like to know more about the history of "game" though. I know at one time Mystery and a bunch of other PUAs were on a message board and they used to talk and go out and field test things and report back. But what did guys do before the internet? The internet is a fairly recent invention after all. Were there books in 1920 on picking up women? What about in 1720?

Ya it's just mysterious to me. they just say something they normally would and that gets girls. but practice is the key i guess.

 

[yuppaz]

Think that your worried too much about what to say, I read somewhere once that the information is like 5% as important as the expression and the energy, that's why those RSD guys will open with stuff like "I like Salad" and crap like that. I've tried personally and it's true, openers don't matter really at all, the girls are happy that you open them and teasing lightly and just having normal convo with them can take you far. If your nervous maybe try to fail for a while, go for the rejection....see how much you can do. Honestly there is such a wide range of ways to SUCCEED that the failures matter little. I've succeeded in closing by doing silly sh*t like just going up to chicks and saying "GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER", she says no, I say give it, no, GIVE IT (smiling of course) and she crumbles and does and f*ckin contacts me because I'm this dude with balls that didn't get all bent out of shape because she told me no. Try going out and try to close every time you talk to someone and feel awesome if you are able to get REJECTED 10 times. Seriously your fear of that no big deal rejection is killing you inside....go do this, thicken your skin.

If your scared to do the gimme your number thing, just smile big, talk about nothing important and say "you seem like you MIGHT be fun to hang out with, (hand her your phone) put your number in there and we'll hang out some time"

 

[GetOveIT]

For me its all about confidence and what I want and its not only about women and not surely "THE WOMAN".

:kick:

 

[zekko]

I've succeeded in closing by doing silly sh*t like just going up to chicks and saying "GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER", she says no, I say give it, no, GIVE IT (smiling of course)

I like that one quite a bit, sounds like it suits my personality. Some stuff I read I can't imagine doing because it doesn't fit me. But if I'm ever "on the market" again, I'm using that. I'll send you the royalties.

 

[yuppaz]

hahaha - do it man, thinking about it now, doing sh*t like that really numbed me from the whole fear of rejection, and turned gaming into, well a game!

 

[moneyisking]

hahaha - do it man, thinking about it now, doing sh*t like that really numbed me from the whole fear of rejection, and turned gaming into, well a game!

that's a lot of balls you have to do something like that. see i can imagine all that but i cant kick myself into doing the action. dam, wish i had guts like you did man. Im learning day by day though. reading these advices from experienced people really help me understand and catch epiphany.Thank you!!

 

[yuppaz]

Money the reason why you feel like you don't have the guts YET is because you are putting too much pressure on yourself. By no means am I GOOD with women, I'm learning and desensitizing myself to that very pressure which tells me that I need to perform or work harder or smarter etc. to be successful. In all things in life we men feel the need to work harder or smarter to improve which is why I think that we can really f*ck up with women, because the less hard you try, the less you really care the better you do (from my experience). Simply don't give a flying FACK about what would happen if you talk to that pretty girl and you'll be surprised how receptive she is. Yup, for me she VERY well may flake or not respond, but as I practice more and more and care less and less she (all of the she's I talk to) thinks me more and more attractive and is more and more likely to want to follow up with me. The key reason (for me) to succeeding (when I do) is because I feel comfortable and don't have any of those ***** ass voices in my head telling me "do this or she'll think your a dork...blah blah"

The reason why standing there and ignoring her objection and keep pushing worked was because she saw that I was dominant and wouldn't take her silly no for an answer. Plus I did it in front of all her friends without introducing myself at all. It displayed mega dominance and the will to be a rock and not be swayed by her silly mouth. BTW, this normally doesn't happen but she actually text me the next night, I couldn't meet up w/ her though and was not as dominant as when I met her and she instantly lost interest.

Anyways, what I'm getting to is that you simply need to go start talking to women without putting pressure on yourself. Do it because you are working on changing you, so failure is a goooooood thing. Go out and get a bunch of failures so that you can work your way to successes.

 

[Ease]

Naturals don't know the right things to say, they're just being themselves. They just happen to be attractive, that's why they're naturals.

Foolish talk friend.

Confidence comes from success, success comes from experience.

OP makes such a good point about not remembering what you read. Hell i forget stuff i already know and have implemented in the past. I used to lay down the law like a man when my gf tried to act up, now 1 year into LTR iv FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO THAT. No wonder we're close to breaking up.

 

[Korrupt]

I go to gym 5 times a week, good shape, and externally, I am not bad. I think all the problem is the inner side. When talking to a girl, I have no clue if what I say will arouse her, make her puke, stimulate her sexually, make her jump off cliff...

You really don't need to say a certain "thing" or "line" to get her... Uhhh... "Aroused" while talking to her. Eye contact, tone of voice, the speed at which you're talking to her, facial expression, ect... Can get her sexually attracted to you no matter what you're talking about.

 

[moneyisking]

I appreciate word of wisdom yuppaz has laid down above. it is true and crazy, these things with women. it's real funny; you can't care too much but you can't be too apathetic at the same time. you can't be a mega a$$hole but you can't be regular nice guy either (and it's hard to know when to be a$$hole and when to be nice).

this balance thing is literally insane. it's like you can't try hard, but you can't not try. man this sh!t is complicated. like yuppaz said, being careless brings out true you and thats why helps a lot.

I feel i do have this subconscious "gota do good" thing in my head when I talk to girls Majorly b/c I am a virgin. That's right, I am 21, never had sex... so that kind of gets in my head. what the hell have i been doing while all my buddies get these beautiful girls and talk to them without feeling any nervous. god, I wish I don't care, but in reality, the V-card is not letting that happen easily. I could really think about prostitution. but thanks immensely for the true words. gota practice!!!!

 

[yuppaz]

Your welcome bro, don't sweat the V-card thing... if you wanna bone a hooker, bone a hooker (but strap that **** up) so you don't have that hanging over your head. I read somewhere recently that rang true with me.... play dumb, just go out and have fun and enjoy yourself, but make sure your bringing girls you think are pretty into the convo and the fun with you. TRUST ME > IF YOU ARE ENJOYING YOURSELF AND NOT OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO GET SOMETHING FROM THEM, THEY WILL BE RECEPTIVE!!!!! But you'll never understand that until you start talking to them. Simple as that, get off your ass, go somewhere where girls are and make up some reason to talk to them, no biggie. They aren't going to call the cops on you, they aren't going to laugh in your face, they aren't gonna point at your penis and laugh. They WANT YOU TO TALK TO THEM!!!! That's why they are so worried about looking good, they want to meet you. Worst case scenario is she maybe doesn't click with you and she excuses herself and leaves..... but that's ok because you have just done something you were afraid of and are now a little more confident at, so then next one will be a little bit easier, and easier and easier and so on and so on until you are comfortable enough that you are ok with talking with them without ANY nervousness, once you get to that point, you can get comfortable talking to them by just being wholly yourself. THEY CAN'T WAIT for that sh*t to happen, because when it does your like the golden dong juang, they see you from miles away glowing in the moonlight and can't wait to hop on top of you.

BUT step 1 is to approach, you make 0 progress to Dong Juanghood until you be talkin to them byotches......

GO F*CKIN DO IT NOW!!!!!