So how bad did I **** this up?

[kentgraham10]

Setting:

College, about to enter classroom when this girl from my class is walking in from the other direction.

Scenario:

We had a big test today, so I smiled and told her good luck. She gave back probably the most amazing smile I've ever seen and walked into the room in front of me. I'm sure she said something too but I can't remember. We signed in, I returned to my seat, and she turned around to whisper something to her friend, facing me. I was study for the test, but I looked up and she was smiling at me and I smiled back. At that point the test starts. We actually both finish at almost the same time, she got a bit of a head start out the door and was a good amount ahead of me with her friend on the walk back to campus (our building was off campus a bit, not that this really matters).

Along the way, they start to slow down, and I end up passing them because I took a shortcut through the parking lot. This is where I really feel I messed up. I could have followed them and caught up and got a conversation going no problem, but for some reason I just freaked out. Was I afraid of success? It was obvious we built a little something there today. We've exchanged glances in the past, and I always thought I might have a window to try something, but today it was so blatantly obvious and now that I messed it up, it's probably too late. Just need to hear the right thing now.

 

[Iceberg]

Yeah. This is catastrophic. It's like you dropped an atomic bomb on the whole thing.

I'm being sarcastic. Mainly because I don't see what the big deal is. You smiled at a girl. She smiled back. You didn't really speak with her. You didn't really do anything. Oh, and then she walked away. Real explosive stuff...

I really don't see how you ruined your chances with her. I also don't see how you improved your chances. It just seems like a non-event.

So, whatever. Tomorrow's another day. Ask her how she did on the test. Talk about how you went to the bar with your buddies to relax. Ask her what bars she goes to. Invite her to grab a drink. Basically...do SOMETHING instead of basing your romantic conquests/failures on smiles and glances from across the room.

 

[kentgraham10]

This opportunity was a window. I was Sam, and Clarissa was inviting me up into her window. I put the ladder under her window, I started climbing up. Then, I got scared and ran away. I was so afraid, in fact, I left the ladder there in plain sight, a terrible mistake that will shame me for the rest of my life.

 

[Iceberg]

This opportunity was a window. I was Sam, and Clarissa was inviting me up into her window. I put the ladder under her window, I started climbing up. Then, I got scared and ran away. I was so afraid, in fact, I left the ladder there in plain sight, a terrible mistake that will shame me for the rest of my life.

Whatever you say, weirdo.

 

[kentgraham10]

Whatever you say, weirdo.

I strike while the iron is hot. Now, next Thursday, the iron will only be warm. I don't know how you guys bounce back from it, but if I **** up a first encounter like I did today, totally AFCing it up, I just don't bother with the person and move on to someone else. She is someone I don't want to move on from though. I want to give it another chance, and I will take your advice Iceberg. I just hope I'm not awkward when I do it.

Thanks

 

[Mr. Suave]

Whatever you say, weirdo.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Anyway OP don't worry so much, I understand what you mean but **** it up? Not at all... I don't really think you did too much either way, in terms of building attraction OR messing up. She's probably neutral to ever so slightly warm about you. The iron didn't get hot.

In any case it sounds like she's receptive to you, so next time you see her just be like "hey *her name*!!" and go from there, look pleased to see her, see if she retorts with the same sort of energy.

 

[IKO69]

Don't see where you ****ed up. Just do something about it next time. Don't put it off for too long.

 

[floydb25]

You didn't do anything wrong. Since you're in a school setting, and in the same freakin' class, you dont have to close right away. When I used to date co-workers (horrible idea), our interactions started the same way. There'd be some eye locking, helping out, basic conversation, etc for the first week or so - then we'd start dating. It started off very small. Just brief glances here and there.

The main thing is to be around her enough to where she thinks about you, but not so much to where you're always around her. Just letting your presence be known. If she likes you, she'll reciprocate, and even start coming to you. That's when the iron is hot, and you need to close. If you fail to do anything at that time - then you can whine about it. Ha ha.

I also wouldn't worry too much if she's dating someone. Or, if you're worried that she might if you don't do anything this instant. If she likes you, and you present a challenge in this way, she'll date you. Trust me. Many girls broke up with their boyfriend's when I did this. Even ones from the same workplace. But, she has to be into you for this to happen.